ExtremeDating

Mar 14, 2013

So I sent out a whole bunch of short, moderately creative messages that weren't lolearnest and ended up getting replies that ranged from neutral to highly positive, the vast majority highly positive.

Dunno what you people are whining about. The site works if you put something into it and actually listen to the advice you receive.

Be confident.

Be interesting.

Don't be lolearnest.

Okjav

Mar 14, 2013

anyone can get replies if they keep it light or insincere, but replies aren't the goal for most people on here, and i really don't know why it would be for anyone.

ExtremeDating

Mar 14, 2013

anyone can get replies if they keep it light or insincere, but replies aren't the goal for most people on here, and i really don't know why it would be for anyone.

Don't be so sure, bud. There are guys over on Profile Suggestions who'd be happy to get more profile views at this point.

Siva23

Mar 14, 2013

A young attractive girl got replies? Damn I am fugging shocked!

 

:-|

 

come back when you get a high response rate as a man. I get maybe 2-3 for every 5-6 I send out and that's on a good day.

Siva23

Mar 14, 2013

@okjav replies are not the goal? Is this a seekadenture25 sock or something? What is the goal then?

ExtremeDating

Mar 14, 2013

A young attractive girl got replies? Damn I am fugging shocked!

:-|

come back when you get a high response rate as a man. I get maybe 2-3 for every 5-6 I send out and that's on a good day.

I think what's needed is to be more open-minded here. Yeah, it's easy to fall back on the sexist excuses, and I was kinda expecting them, but you can be a better person than that.

If you just try the advice, if you make that honest effort -- instead of focusing on irrelevancies -- you may be surprised what you can do. Same goes for those guys who are very bad cases of bitterness.

Just three questions to ask yourself: Am I being confident? Am I being interesting? Am I perhaps being lolearnest?

Siva23

Mar 14, 2013

It's not "sexist excuses" it's the cold truth. Women, especially attractive ones, are the ones that do the choosing(more often than men anyway) on dating sites. I do well on here, go on dates and what not, I ask them "how often do you get messages?" Their responses? "My inbox is usually full". Some girls (mostly on PoF) post pics of how full their inboxes are. Some say they don't even have to browse they just sort through messages. 

 

I will say this, the playing field gets leveled when it's women going for the more successful/attractive/confident men. Or when they have kids or unattractive themselves.

 

Discojer might take it to the extreme but I would hazard to guess that's how it is for most guys on here.

ExtremeDating

Mar 14, 2013

It's not "sexist excuses" it's the cold truth.

I don't think you believe that. Look, you can manage a, what, 50% reply rate? 60% maybe? That's not all that far off from me.

Is it really that hard to believe you could boost that reply rate if you (a) be confident, (b) be interesting, and (c) don't be lolearnest?

Some people seem to be victims of self-sabotage, and it's depressing.

Siva23

Mar 14, 2013

Well, I have (a) and am big time (b) not sure what you mean by (c) though. But I know that I am the exception, not really the norm. Ok you do make good points but still the reason I say that is because I know I am the exception not the rule. What helps me out the most is being interesting and literate.

Intense_City

Mar 14, 2013

This is horseshit.

For guys, unless you look like Brad Pitt, it's different.

Not self-sabotage; reality.

Sushibitch

Mar 14, 2013

I have a suggestion; you guys who feel that men absolutely can't get the same response rates ED is suggesting, pick ten women's profiles, and send the links to ED. ED composes messages to send to those ten women. You send them, unadulterated, and report back on your response rate.

Who's up for it?

MarchofthePawns

Mar 14, 2013

maybe. I need to get ready for work. And I'll need time to remember how to read a profile.

Siva23

Mar 14, 2013

^I'm not saying it can't be done because I have done it. I am saying that it's not the norm for the avg guy. 

 

Edit:I mean even with her well crafted messages it's not going to work for them.

Siva23

Mar 14, 2013

^I'm not saying it can't be done because I have done it. I am saying that it's not the norm for the avg guy.

 

edit: I mean even with her well crafted message it's not going to work for them but I want to see if it does. (Hmm reading that it seems to go counter to how I go about it)

Extreme dating you have 't answered my question what is lolearnest?

MarchofthePawns

Mar 14, 2013

probably being too aggressive(wanna fuck right off the bat)

being stupid just to be stupid.

or going off on why the girl is amazing(Because she's blah blah blah) but never hyping yourself up in the process. Something similar to Roger_Dodger's old  too earnest thing.

Okjav

Mar 14, 2013

@okjav replies are not the goal? Is this a seekadenture25 sock or something? What is the goal then?

meeting people.

you're lolearnest if you message someone in order to meet them. that's the way i interpreted it anyway. i'm just imagining she sent cat pictures to people and they replied.

Siva23

Mar 14, 2013

@Okjav well yeah that's the end goal, you gotta get them to reply first though. And lol @ the cat thing haha.

Okjav

Mar 14, 2013

you're lolearnest if you message someone in order to meet them.

i take that back. cause you can not be lolearnest and still message someone in order to meet. i think it means not doing the typical "hi, you like x? i like x, too. anecdote about x. follow up question." not trying too hard. not really caring. cat pictures. something like that.

ExtremeDating

Mar 14, 2013

This is horseshit.

For guys, unless you look like Brad Pitt, it's different.

Not self-sabotage; reality.

See, IF this attitude gets conveyed in your messages, you're breaking at least rule 1 and rule 2. It's not very confident to think such thoughts, and it's not very interesting because of its unoriginality!

Check yourself before you wreck yourself!!! :-)

ExtremeDating

Mar 14, 2013

OK, re: lolearnest. It's good you guys are asking questions. That's the first step to real learning. The very best way to grasp the concept of lolearnest is through contemplation. I'm not suggesting you need to assume the lotus position on a yoga mat, but you do need to withdraw and ponder what it means to be lolearnest. You can arrive at its full meaning by reflecting on 'lol' and 'earnest'. I'm convinced that deep within human nature is a primordial force that rebels against lolearnest, and if you become attuned to that force, your dating woes will disappear in an instant.

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