SillySmartie

Dec 22, 2012

Apparently, the longstanding "douchiest messages" thread was deleted. So here's a new wtf? message thread.

I had this exchange today:

let's fuck

Sent Dec 22, 2012 – 10:30pm

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...... 

Thanks for that, it's been a bit since I've had such a funny message.
Dec 22, 2012 – 10:30pm

:-p

Dec 22, 2012 – 10:31pm

dork

Dec 22, 2012 – 10:32pm

You don't wanna give me a bj

Dec 22, 2012 – 10:32pm

Make me hard Sk I can fuck you hard?

Dec 22, 2012 – 10:33pm

Why would I want to do that, sir? 



I've gotta check my profile, I don't remember typing: message me if you want a bj.

Dec 22, 2012 – 10:33pm

I'm just horny and down to fuck

Dec 22, 2012 – 10:33pm

 

*scoff* You're serious? lol...

Dec 22, 2012 – 10:34pm

[Hint: try NOT acting like you're 13...]

Dec 22, 2012 – 10:35pm

K my bad

smashingmayo

Dec 22, 2012

lmao. Yet ANOTHER thread by silly making fun of someone. Gotta love it. SOmeone who claims to eb "in the psychology field" is so lacking any confidence at all that EEVRY SINGLE THEREAD she makes is to look down on someone or call someone an idiot.
ThatCharmsChick

Dec 22, 2012

What is with the sudden delete ALL the things moderation around here?

Shit be crazy, yo. 

SillySmartie

Dec 22, 2012

^ It's bizarre. No rhyme or reason either.

ThatCharmsChick

Dec 22, 2012

Very bizarre. 

 

More bizarre than the conversation I had earlier. 

Him: I want to tear that pussy up. 

Me: Actually, it likes to remain fully intact and doesn't condone such violence. 

       Besides, I donated it to the Goodwill, as it says on my profile. 

Him: Does that mean we not fucking?

*silence*

SillySmartie

Dec 22, 2012

Ha ha! He had to clarify? Lulz. 

Phyrewerx

Dec 22, 2012

Ooh ooh! Let me share! This, believe it or not, is the only foot fetish message I've gotten despite having the foot photo for quite a few months:

I would love to sex your feet.Put my hard 9 inches on them under the covers. 

What's more is less than 3 minutes later he sent this follow up message:

If you like them big and good,I can service you.

I honestly think some guys are misguided in that they think that OKC is some free porn chat/message/escort service type thing. Like 'jackpot! I found a sexy times service that doesn't cost $9.99 a minute! Or that's the only women they've ever tried to engage in conversation. Or the are just really drunk...so many theories!

ThatCharmsChick

Dec 22, 2012

Most of the guys I ask for a reason say, "well, can't hurt to try."

Apparently can't hurt to fail either. -_-

ThatCharmsChick

Dec 22, 2012

...And speaking of fail. :P

SillySmartie

Dec 22, 2012

^^ Yeah or "I was drunk/am drunk/have been drinking"

ThatCharmsChick

Dec 22, 2012

^ Yes. I got that one earlier today but the collection of 3 messages in 3 minutes made little if any sense, so the fact that he told me he was drinking was quite redundant. 

stuckinitaly

Dec 22, 2012

ok this one was sent last week, and I abs. LOVED it!

Nel mondo parallelo del web, ecco, ci sono anch’io, navigatore solitario tra milioni di marinai (e marinaie) digitali, spettatore e attore nella commedia quotidiana della vita e delle sue infinite variabili.
Ho sbirciato il tuo profilo, visto la tua foto, , proprio come accade nella realtà quando si incrociano per un istante, in situazioni e contesti per lo più casuali, gli sguardi una donna e di un uomo. Un poeta, Antoine Pol, ha dipinto magistralmente questo “luogo dell’animo”, questo anelito dello spirito vitale di un uomo, in cui mi riconosco pienamente, con i colori di questa poesia (che sarebbe da lestofante far passare per propria):
LE PASSANTI
Voglio dedicare questa poesia
a tutte le donne che si amano
per pochi istanti segreti,
a quelle che si conoscono appena,
che un destino diverso trascina via
e che non si ritrovano mai.
A quella che si vede apparire
un secondo alla sua finestra
e che, subito, svanisce
ma la cui svelta figura
è così esile e graziosa
che se ne resta illuminati.
Alla compagna di viaggio
i cui occhi, splendido paesaggio,
fanno sembrare corto il tragitto;
che si è i soli, forse, a capire
e che si lascia tuttavia scendere
senza averle sfiorato la mano.
A quelle che sono già prese
e che, vivendo ore grigie
con un uomo troppo diverso,
vi hanno, inutile follia,
lasciato vedere la malinconia
di un avvenire disperato.
Care immagini scorte,
speranze deluse d'un giorno,
sarete domani dimenticate;
per poco che la felicità sopraggiunga
è raro che ci si ricordi
degli episodi del viaggio.
Ma, se si è fallita la vita,
si sognano con un po' d'invidia
tutte queste felicità intraviste,
i baci che non si è osati prendere,
i cuori che ci devono attendere,
gli occhi che non si sono più rivisti.
Allora, nelle sere di stanchezza,
riempiendo la solitudine
con i fantasmi del ricordo
si rimpiangono le labbra assenti
di tutte queste belle passanti
che non abbiamo saputo trattenere.

ste.

In the parallel world of the web, here, I'm here too, solo sailor millions of sailors (and marinaie) digital spectator and actor in the comedy of everyday life and its infinite variables.
I peeked your profile, saw your picture, just as in real life when you meet for a moment, in situations and contexts mostly random, the looks of a woman and a man. A poet, Antoine Pol, masterfully painted this 'soul', this yearning of the vital spirit of a man, I identify fully with the colors of this poem (which would by crook to pass on their own):
THE HOLE
I want to dedicate this poem
to all women who love
secrets for a few moments,
to those who hardly know,
a different fate drags
and that are not found ever.
In what is seen appear
a second on his window
and that immediately vanishes
but whose quick figure
so slender and graceful
that it remains lit.
The traveling companion
whose eyes, beautiful landscape,
make the journey seem shorter;
that you are the only, perhaps, to understand
and that is not, however, fall
without having touched his hand.
To those who have already taken
and that, living hours gray
with a man too different,
There are, needless to madness,
let me see the melancholy
a desperate future.
dear stockpiled images,
dashed hopes of one day,
you will forget tomorrow;
no matter how little happiness overtake
we rarely remember
of the episodes of the trip.
But, if you failed life,
you dream with a little 'of envy
all this happiness glimpsed,
the kisses that you have not dared to take,
hearts that will have to wait,
eyes that have not been seen again.
Then, in the evening of fatigue,
filling the solitude
with the ghosts of memory
regretting his absent lips,
and all those beautiful passes
we have not been able to stroll.

ste.

 

sandyvs

Dec 23, 2012

Him:You look incredible for your age. I may have to start playing tennis myself

Me: Thank you for the compliment, but I'm really not interested in someone my oldest son's age.

Him:Ok. That was harsh.

I almost messaged him back because he was so funny, but I knew he'd think he had a chance and that would've been mean.

sandyvs

Dec 23, 2012

Changed your mind about 20-somethings yet? ;)


Hahaha, no and the older I get, the more likely I won't. You know, there's cougar sites....you should check those out. Or you local bar. ;)

gritsucker

Dec 23, 2012

Besides, I donated it to the Goodwill, as it says on my profile. 

I'd totally forgotten about this. :D

Also, the douchiest messages thread was deleted? Wtf?

SillySmartie

Dec 23, 2012

^ Yes. I googled, found a link that was dead.

sandyvs

Dec 23, 2012

Post the worst IM is still in success/failure though. (So far)

twohundredtwelve

Dec 23, 2012

MrOkcupid: you should totally message me back i use a cock pump daily so you know what that means right?

212: No. What does that mean?

Mr.Okcupid: I can pump my cock up to a big size when ever I want Hun. So what do you say to that

212: Is that your first message to every girl on here or is there something in my profile that made you think that would appeal to me?

Mr.Okcupid; Just wanted to stand out to you that's all. Is there something wrong with my message?

212:That depends on what you are going for. So tell me...does it hurt? How long does it last? How much bigger does it make it?

Mr.Okcupid: Well it lasts a few days if I pump it for a hour or 2 but I've been pumping like everyday for weeks straight and I added a permanent inch in leanght and girth and it hurts if you over pump but I kinda like over pumping. The biggest I ever got was after pumping for like 6 hours straight it made me like 8 long and 8 thick

Did I scare u off

212: Listen,your first message didn't exactly win me over. I just figured I would learn something anyway. Good luck on your search.

shoegal71

Dec 23, 2012

laughs.

I would have wondered why he would do this instead of using viagra. I don't know if there are long-term complications to chronic use of penis pumps.

[goes to google]

chucker23n

Dec 23, 2012

lolwut

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