happycycling

Apr 14, 2010

^ pffft, there are no single women over 25 who are worth dating.

travvler

Apr 14, 2010

^Yup, like you, they're all taken.  I might as well give up!

teco1

Apr 14, 2010

So here is my take on it...as a woman and all.  I EXCLUSIVELY date "nice guys".  I won't even consider dating a guy who is NOT nice.  That being said, I also exclusively date CONFIDENT men.  I think somewhere along the way, the two have sort of become mutually exclusive in a lot of people's minds.  Men CAN be both confident and nice.  I also think that is where some of the confusion comes in...doormats are not my thing at all, but nice totally is.  I have a strong personality, and whether I intend to or not, I will trample a man who is not equally strong and confident...but that doesn't mean they are bossy, macho, egotistical, "bad" etc.  They must be kind, respectful and all those other great words...

 

happycycling

Apr 14, 2010

^ you're over 25. nobody cares what you think.

Roger_Dodger

Apr 14, 2010

So here is my take on it...as a woman and all.

Irrelevant. The academic studies have already been done.

Now_in_Anodyne

Apr 14, 2010

Fuck uniformity.

What9Thousand

Apr 14, 2010

Men CAN be both confident and nice.

Yep. I'd like to see the profiles they used for these studies. I suspect they were caricatures of real people who all tended toward one extreme or another.

xero_chance09

Apr 14, 2010

Bondidude:   College students being the key word in that paragraph.  Because ALL single women fit into a majority age 18-25 demographic...

Point being you ask someone in their 30s, 40s, 50s, etc. if they find those same traits to be attractive and you will get different answers.

Per the article:  "In her seven years of dating coach experience, Lisa Shield of Los Angeles, California, discovered that a majority of female clients prefer a man with edge who draws boundaries. Her clients reject nice guys as too malleable. 

"I find that when the guy is sweet and polite, I tend to become the more masculine of the two of us," said 39-year-old Lisa Lyons of California. "It throws the balance off.""

 

I agree that as women get older, they're increasingly tolerant or wanting of someone who is nice, however, I think the majority still prefer the archetype jerk. 

 

As a licensed counselor in Washington, he's listened to many men groan about being in the nice guy rut. Glover said that nice guys, like himself, were often nonconfrontational and constantly seeking approval -- both destructive behaviors in a relationship. Being too nice landed him in divorce court.

"In general, women like the tension, or they will lose interest quickly," he said.

How about this?  Tension/conflict ---> interest?

i_am_drew24:  My current girlfriend is with me because I'm not a jerk, so the statistics and the "nice guy" threads and stereotypes can go straight to hell for all I care.

A self-proclaimed nice guy is hoisting the victory flag and calling all of this research utter rubbish.  All because he has a girlfriend.  Very entertaining.   Let's see how that relationship pans out in the test of time before you're doing the victory dance.

 

Soulover

Apr 15, 2010

The only thing I can say about this ridiculous ‘Nice guy’, v ‘Bad boy’ dichotomy is that it is a false one. It is not real. It’s a joke. I will add this: if you feel like you are a ‘nice guy’ and have been jerk around by women, I ask, why mop around about it. You are not being nice to yourself. Instead of being whiney, go out and indulge in some passion of yours. That will make you feel happy, and happiness attracts. If don’t have any other passion (and video games don’t count) then get some. Perhaps that’s why you failed in the first place.

WhigLite

Apr 15, 2010

Hey Nice Guy volk, this is what I got to say to you.

xero_chance09

Apr 15, 2010

Soulover: It's not like jerks and assholes are saying, "I'm so unreliable.  I treat women like crap.  I don't pay for anything, I never show up on time, and I let the girl I'm dating that she's not the only one---why don't they call me anymore?"

It's also no coincidence that many women have a history of dating those above guys, have sex with them, marry them, then have their kids, then only when they tire of it, they divorce (or he divorces her).   Clearly, something is going on.  Taking that dichotomy to the far jerk extreme is morally and ethically wrong--I don't deny that.  However, it is a spectrum, and the spectrum that goes more towards the jerk, is the one who ends up getting the most favorable outcomes more often than not.

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