Siva23

Mar 14, 2013

^lololol oh bum bah clot! Can't even give a straight answer so we get the eastern pusedomystical jargon.

 

 

needs more Castanada doe.

ExtremeDating

Mar 14, 2013

Siva23, I think approaching the concept of lolearnest with a Western mindset is a grave error and will lead to a kind of mechanical avoidance rather than a graceful avoidance. Again, you need to be very open-minded about this.

Siva23

Mar 14, 2013

^hey I am all about mysticism and eastern thought, sheeit it's my bread and butter.  I don't think this is gonna send me into the long Om though, besides I am still trying to wrap my mind around Juan Matus's "two minds" and the intent of infinity.

1mind2have4now

Mar 14, 2013

Does THIS help answer the question of reply rates?

Invisible_Hand

Mar 14, 2013

Eh, my response rate dropped from about 70% to at best 50% in a good week since moving to Texas. It's hard to see why you would even want more than that, though. Assuming you're selecting the right people to engage, you hit critical mass pretty quickly. I'm already at the point of ceasing contact with perfectly good women because I can't just spend all of my free time dating. That was never the goal. 

1mind2have4now

Mar 14, 2013

70%? Were you messaging warthogs? I'm guessing this was achieved through honing in on fewer more likely candidates with a corresponding higher message quality vs shotgunning yourself to dozens of women with the formulaic copy n' paste let's just fuck messages.

Immortal_Object

Mar 14, 2013

I don't think you believe that. Look, you can manage a, what, 50% reply rate? 60% maybe? That's not all that far off from me.

Is it really that hard to believe you could boost that reply rate if you (a) be confident, (b) be interesting, and (c) don't be lolearnest?

Some people seem to be victims of self-sabotage, and it's depressing.

You seem to be assuming a lot... and you also seem to lack knowledge of the biased nature of society.

I find it interesting that you seem to deny the concept of the imbalanced nature between males and females when it comes to dating and writing messages on a site like this, and then are quick to blame the person who tells you otherwise that they're not trying hard enough (essentially) by saying things like, "you're not confident / you're a victim of self-sabotage, and you're being too earnest."

There is a biased nature between the sexes, quite unfortunately in fact... and it has nothing to do how men are presenting themselves in messages. Well, I take that back, I know plenty of men who completely fail at composing a message that doesn't make them look either creepy, desperate, or a complete weirdo. However, the point being that you can't state to males, "I just wrote a bunch of messages, and 90% of them replied! What's wrong with you people? It's easy" as a female writing to males.

Yes, it is indeed VERY sexist... but not an "excuse" that is sexist, but rather an obvious fact and OBSERVED truth in this matter.

This isn't meant to be demeaning in any sort, but are you sure you don't have asperger's syndrome? You seem to lack an awareness of social constructs in your surroundings and then when someone tells you otherwise or you don't like the answer, you blame THEM claiming it's something they're doing wrong.

 

I just can't see the reason why you're oblivious to the fact that by, simply being an attractive female, or hell, female for that matter... gives you a great advantage in the way people perceive you or respond to you. You seem to be "surprised" that a lot of people are having a hard time receiving replies, based off the fact that YOU have an easy time receiving replies, which to you should be no surprise.

Are you seriously telling us that you're oblivious to the fact that you receive a great number of replies simply because you're female?

For someone who claims to be very knowledgeable in providing advice about social behaviors of people... you sure are lacking... plenty of social aspects. Either that or you like to deny reality a lot.

Not to be rude, but my first impression of you stumbling upon this thread was, "Hey, look at me! I'm really perfect and can easily get replies? Oh? You can't? WELL IT'S YOUR FAULT!"

I personally believe everyone should be on some sort of equal ground in some sort of capacity, regardless of gender... It would be nice... 

However, the harsh reality is that it's unfortunately simply not true. 

 

(Edit: Just read your profile and the sheer amount of narcissism implies you're fully aware that simply being female garners more attention for you automatically. I'm starting to wonder if you're trolling the forums.)

 

1mind2have4now

Mar 14, 2013

So basically,

Hotness + Female = The worst benchmark for generalizing alleged reply rates.

Siva23

Mar 14, 2013

@Immortal_Object you make some good points and say it much better than what I said, but she also makes some good points. ExtremeDating, maybe to really put your theory to the test you should make a fake profile with pics of an avg looking dude, send out your well crafted messages and then tell us how you do.

MarchofthePawns

Mar 14, 2013

should I volunteer my mugshot?

Immortal_Object

Mar 14, 2013

Also, another reason... still a gender based issue, but still another reason for why you're receiving a 90% reply rate as a female writing to males... Is that males tend to RECEIVE less messages.

It's much easier for me to respond to 1-3 people, if I ever get that many in a given week who write me of their own free will... Than it would be 1 female filtering through dozens of messages.

Sometimes there's just so many messages or they all start to look the same, that you end up accidentally skipping one... or don't even bother.

I've met a lot of girls from this site and they've shared their inbox with me... some of the time it's hard to pick out if it's even worth replying to some of the people. (Other factors include their picture, which, some men just put the weirdest crap there that you... tend to avoid.)

I still think the OP is trolling us... as in another forum you're complaining that you received too many messages and can't "Delete them fast enough."

I'm sure you fully read each and every one of those messages, right?

ExtremeDating

Mar 15, 2013

Does THIS help answer the question of reply rates?

Yes, it says the majority of guys are sending boring messages.

Rule #2: Be interesting!

ExtremeDating

Mar 15, 2013

I find it interesting that you seem to deny the concept of the imbalanced nature between males and females when it comes to dating and writing messages on a site like this

The imbalanced nature is that there are 4 men for every 3 women and that men are sending 80% of messages. Careful about drawing conclusions from that. After all, sending more shitty, lolearnest messages isn't cause for approbation.

Well, I take that back, I know plenty of men who completely fail at composing a message that doesn't make them look either creepy, desperate, or a complete weirdo.

99% of the messages I see aren't creepy or weird. Desperate is closer to the mark, but it's an insidious kind of desperate -- it's... lolearnest.

However, the point being that you can't state to males, "I just wrote a bunch of messages, and 90% of them replied! What's wrong with you people? It's easy" as a female writing to males.

Yes, it is indeed VERY sexist... but not an "excuse" that is sexist, but rather an obvious fact and OBSERVED truth in this matter.

More peddling of excuses, my friend. Will the sexist rationalizations for personal failures never end?

This isn't meant to be demeaning in any sort, but are you sure you don't have asperger's syndrome? You seem to lack an awareness of social constructs in your surroundings and then when someone tells you otherwise or you don't like the answer, you blame THEM claiming it's something they're doing wrong.

To be fair, when someone gives me an answer I don't like, I don't blame them; I blame their Asperger's syndrome.

ExtremeDating

Mar 15, 2013

It's much easier for me to respond to 1-3 people, if I ever get that many in a given week who write me of their own free will

That's the thing, though: If you be confident, if you be interesting, if you don't be lolearnest, you may end up getting more messages than a pitiable 1-3 each week.

As for more replies to your messages, does the rage you're expressing here come across in your messages?

Sushibitch

Mar 15, 2013

I love this thread very very hard. That is all.

SillySmartie

Mar 15, 2013

^ Seconded. I love it earnestly.

RuralRouter

Mar 15, 2013

Much as we want to believe that everyone has an equal chance on here if they would only avoid being 'lolearnest', they don't really have an equal chance.

 

Some people, in some demographics, in some geographical locations, will just not have the same success as others, no mater how confident, interesting and 'nonlolearnest' they are. 

Your good advice is just not as universally applicable as you'd like to think.

ExtremeDating

Mar 15, 2013

Some people, in some demographics, in some geographical locations, will just not have the same success as others, no mater how confident, interesting and 'nonlolearnest' they are. 

Your good advice is just not as universally applicable as you'd like to think.

False. Confident + interesting + non-lolearnest is a surefire formula.

I can't tell whether you're making some reference to your own situation. If you are, I must remind you of rule #1: be confident. Upload a pic of your mug and own it with pride! And rule #2: be interesting. Being a defeatist downer isn't interesting!

Siva23

Mar 15, 2013

While I will say that you can always learn something new from someone and I have been mulling over your "lolearnest" ...anti-mantra? I'll ask again. Why don't you put your theory to the test? Make a male profile with an avg guy's pictures on it and follow your formula? Let us know how you do. I'm not a naysayer to what you have to say btw, it's solid but as other dude's have pointed out just because its good on paper does not mean it's a guarantee fool-proof plan in practice. 

 

 

designguy417

Mar 15, 2013

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