Do you generally write okcupid users, or do they generally write you first?



Jul 10, 2009 1:46am

with me it is half and half, if I like something in a profile good or bad I write.


Jul 10, 2009 2:36am

A couple have messaged me and I've never been weirded out. I think they don't in general because like men, they're lazy whenever possible, and the expectation is that men will contact them.

Anyway, my received messages have usually been about how my hair is wonderful or how pretty they think I am, and I am cool with that. An opening compliment indicating some degree of human desirability goes down well.


Jul 10, 2009 2:48am

Why should they? 

If humans as a whole are lazy... *L*


Jul 10, 2009 4:02am

I write guys all the time and do you know what I get? Bubkiss! Occasionally I get a response but for the most part I get shit. I may not be Miss America but I am not exactly a she-wolf. Maybe women aren't messaging because they keep getting shitty results. BLAH!


Jul 10, 2009 4:24am

haha, well lets see, if i was a little more attractive and had the body of a god, im sure i would get a lot of women asking me. Of course, some women are deep and will question if you interesting or not.. I dunno, do girls stalk people?


Jul 10, 2009 4:41am

I write to men often on here actually.  However in the last couple of months none of them have written back.  *shrugs*  Thinking that all women on here get their inbox flooded every single day is completely retarded.


Jul 10, 2009 4:59am

I've messaged a few men before, usually because they have something interesting on their profile that makes me want to start a conversation. I don't really see what the big deal is. If you want to talk to someone then just do it. Otherwise theres no point being on here.


Jul 10, 2009 6:54am

i think alot of them are way to picky, but i can say the same for myself.

but at least if a girl writes me, i do take the time to say hi and or hello, even if there not what i'm lookin's just common courtesy. k bye!


Jul 10, 2009 6:56am

Because they go by some stupid archaic principal that says the guy should take the lead in everything.

Its bullshit.


Jul 10, 2009 8:17am

The fact is that I've had a few women contact me first.  Someone mentioned that it made them look desperate, and I kind of agree with that.  If thier are moderately attractive I'm inclined to see "desperation" written all over the message, and if they are attractive I am more apt to thing "camgirl", or "scam". 

I'm fine with contacting them.  The idea that the woman should make the first move belongs on those forums complaining about guys having to pay for dates.  I'm, a traditionalist who wants to make a woman feel like a "pretty pretty princess"


Jul 11, 2009 8:25am

Variety of possible reasons.

1. Some women are "old fashioned" or passive.

2. Some women are afraid of being rejected.

3. Some women are extremely picky.




Jul 11, 2009 8:52am

I hear this kind of debate all the time, some guy ask why women never message men and the majority of women answer that they do message men but get little responses. Maybe its not a gender issue maybe people just read these topics and think "Screw this I'll just go out and get rejected in reality with the possibility of at least copping a feel."


Jul 11, 2009 8:59am

"Everytime i message a guy, I hardly get a response. -shrugs- sometimes it's hard to think up a good opening message."  Now you know how us guys feel most of the time on here, but it's all good though.  I'd say it's because the guys outnumber the girls here, and so they essentially have their pick or maybe some of these girls aren't genuine and just want the emails to boost their egos, or maybe they don't know what to say. 


Jul 11, 2009 9:09am

Well, I can't bitch. I've had quite a few pretty girls message me with my profile just sitting there doing nothing haha... But now it's months later and when I try to respond I think they are like 'Hey its that jerk off who didn't answer me!"


Jul 11, 2009 9:11am

Clearly, it's because they are afraid of being rejected.


Jul 11, 2009 9:34am

Because they don't need to.


If I had girls writing messages to me everyday I would never bother messaging one.


Jul 11, 2009 9:37am

Hmm, why should they?  They get tons of messages from guys to sift through every time they sign in, as far as I can tell.


Jul 11, 2009 9:37am

Me? Out of shyness. Sad but true. 


Jul 11, 2009 10:02am

i write messages. why cant guys write more. its not always the women. maybe it they stop saying stupid stuff, like you wanna put your tits in my face? we would write more.


Jul 11, 2009 10:10am

'maybe it they stop saying stupid stuff, like you wanna put your tits in my face? we would write more.'

I'd think this would be a reason for you to write more, or in other words, not just leave who you are speaking to up to fate.  Seek out the guys who aren't THAT guy.

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