Jan 10, 2013 8:47am

OP, Women don't want a virgin. There's other things they don't want, too: a guy who smokes, a guy living at home with mom & dad, a guy living in his parent's basement, guys under 6' tall, unemployed guys, guys working at minimum wage with no plan for advancement, guys with bad attitudes, guys who don't lke sex, guys who don't shower, guys who play video games 8 hours a day, guys who don't brush their teeth, guys that are overweight, guys that still live with their last girlfriend,  .......................

The list goes on and on and on.

What's more significant to me, than whether or not you're a virgin, is your overall attitude towards sex. I checked out the answers to many of your questions about sex, and came away with the impression that you don't like sex much, although you might be addicted to pornography.

Intead of arguing with girls about what their dealbreakers are (which they are totally permitted to have, btw, just like you are),  how about focusing on your own attitude towards sex?

There probably are some girls out there who don't care if you're a virgin, and don't care much about sexual intercourse, either. You could meet one. OTOH, improving your attitude towards sex might make you more attractive to the girls you want.


Jan 10, 2013 3:35pm

What attitude towards sex would that be?

And there once was a time before I clearly listed what I don't want in my profile, I never got any messages then either and I've been using this site for two years and only started listing dealbreakers last month.


Jan 10, 2013 4:26pm

Your current attitude sounds like you're not interested in sexual intercourse. Is that the attitude that you mean to convey?

Is that the attitude you intend to date with?

If it is, then it seems that you are on course to find a woman who also doesn't want sex. 

That being the case, you won't want any of the women who say they don't want virgins. What you do want is another virgin, who doesn't want sex until after marriage.

There will not be too many of those particular women here. In your part of Arkansas there may be none.

You might need to join a specific dating/match site that caters to virgins, religious people who are waiting til marriage for sex.



Jan 10, 2013 5:13pm



Jan 11, 2013 9:48am

I'm not looking for a woman who is waiting till marriage till sex, more than likely she would be a conservative and I don't want to date nor fuck a conservative. I'm still a virgin because it just never happened and I've never had a girlfriend in any capacity(why the hell do you think I'm using OKCupid?).

If "my current attitude sounds like I'm not interested in sexual intercourse" it because it's not the first thing on my mind.


Jan 11, 2013 10:03am

I wouldn't mention those kinds of things, at least not on your profile. This is probably just the wrong site if you hope to attract the kind of girl you're looking for. You might want to try a more conservative site.  The truth is, women don't want a dude who's a virgin, under 6' tall, unemployed,...that's supposed to be their role. They want to feel like a woman next to their man.


Jan 11, 2013 10:46am

Didn't I just say I don't want conservatives? And why shouldn't I mention these things? You have to give a person material to build a message around.

The truth is, women don't want a dude who's a virgin, under 6' tall, unemployed,...that's supposed to be their role. They want to feel like a woman next to their man

I'm just doomed to be alone then huh?


Jan 11, 2013 12:58pm

Japanese sex robots. It's the future. And a worthwhile investment.


Jan 11, 2013 4:50pm

The actual answer is "Too fucking bad."

Women are whores and sluts, and that's the reality of it, and it's just too fucking bad if you've ever believed you wanted anything else from them.

And all that feminism bullshit about how they don't want to be objectifiied and don't want to be treated as sex objects is bullshit, and they spend their lives sneering at you for ever having believed that at all.

That's the actual answer to the question posed in the thread title.


And to add insult to injury, they then go and make a public term of derision out of the words "Nice Guy". Because the nice guys are the suckers who ever believed in all that feminism rhetoric about "sensitive caring guys", while the chicks went out and let themselves get fucked by all the assholes who fit the descriptions of everything the feminists were ranting about what is so terrible about men.

And then they throw back in your face the accusations about all the men they let fuck them over, accusing YOU, by virtue of the simple fact that you're a man, of everything you've spent your life trying not to be guilty of. Because the men they did let fuck them and whose dicks they sucked day after day, treated them like crap. But they never objected or protested to those men, because those men are still the ones they believe they're "in love with".

And so on top of everything else, they direct their spite at you not only for all the abuse they suffered from these "bad boy" men they were attracted to, which you are not guilty of, but also their spite at you for not being that man, and for not looking like him, because it's still him that they want and not you. 


So they label you as a "Nice Guy" and despise you for it and sneer at you for having ever had any of the values that you were brought up to believe constituted Morality.

And it's just Too Fucking Bad.


Jan 11, 2013 6:06pm

^oh look, a model instance of "nice guy" syndrome! Go right ahead and blame an entire gender for your relationship issues, sir. Protip: just being nice to ladies does not merit them banging you. Blatant sexism DEFINITELY doesn't merit them banging you.

Anyway, OP, it seems like you are pretty adamant about not following anybody's advice. Sucks to be you! I suppose until you either learn to accept that your defeatist attitudes and self-important doctrines aren't going to get you anywhere in the dating world, or you can keep waiting until the female version of you comes along and messages you. Hint: she won't.

The way you're acting now? You probably are doomed to be alone, but that's because you're invested in a self-fulfilling prophecy. But if you're actually willing to change the way you present yourself, you might just get somewhere.


Jan 12, 2013 12:57pm

Op, you know why they don't like Virgins.

I'm pretty sure you do, but the worst possible thing you can do is expect them to explain it to you.

Just move on and work on yourself, they have issues of their own.


Jan 13, 2013 11:55am

The only advice I've seen anyone give is to lie about myself.


Jan 13, 2013 1:23pm


The only advice I've seen anyone give is to lie about myself.


If you honestly think that that's what everyone is saying here, you apparently just posted an emo post to feel sorry for yourself rather than actually learn anything.

The fact of the matter is, MOST non-conservative women of your age-group are not interested in being celibate, and are not particularly interested in seeking out virgins, though some might be tolerant of a virgin, depending on other details.

On the other hand, if all you want to do is have a 24x7 pity-party over it, I guarantee you that any women that might be left in that pool of potentials for you will lose interest real fast.

My suggestion to you is to forget the sex thing entirely for now, don't even answer match questions about it, don't mention it on your profile at all, set your profile such that you are looking for "friends and penpals and activity partners only", get used to just being buddies with females, develop friendships with some of 'em, and hopefully something will develop out of that without all the overwrought pressure and focus on the sex thing, which obviously is causing you lots of trouble these days.

Because presenting yourself as a hapless victim of your virginity certainly isn't going to work very well.



Jan 13, 2013 4:24pm

Oh boy.... This is coming from a person that does have some unattractive qualities in myself (mild autism).  However, I was graced with some good looks and some interests I like to engage in.  I would strongly recommend reading some self-help books since your attitude towards yourself needs the most work.  I will give you a few good reasons why you sound unattractive without even looking at your profile:

1. You come across as negative and the attention you want is seemingly negative.

2. Virgins are often confused about their emotions anyway and don't really know what they want.  Trust me, I have been there.  I've been with three women and I am at least happy to have accomplished even one.

3. Posting deal breakers guarantees you will not even get a message.  I usually don't message women that post a lot of their deal breakers.  But hey, if they are attractive they probably get messages regardless.  I get about 1 message per week on average either here or on other sites.  That's better than nothing.

4. I have discovered women above all else are more attracted to confident and carefree men who actually have something interesting to say.  This comes with what they find physically attractive.

5. People want to be felt.  It's hard to have feelings for someone who is lost in their own mind and clearly engaging in some self-fulfilling prophecy.  I didn't lose my virginity or even find a girlfriend by engaging in such behaviour, these opportunities came from showing some respect for myself and for them, as well as some positivity.

6. It's common knowledge by now that dating sites are mostly used by people looking to hookup and that we tend to be more shallow online with what we want.  Most relationships are formed away from dating websites anyway.


Jan 14, 2013 8:46am

I have to start off by listing my ultimate dealbreakers, a person needs to weed out what they want nothing to do with right away.

OP, you might feel this way, but I can guarantee you that most people do not think this way.

This is the first step in being ready for a relationship: realizing that the other person has thoughts and desires that may not be exactly the same as your own. I mean, what's the point of being with someone who thinks and wants exactly the same stuff that you do?


Jan 14, 2013 10:14am

OP states an almost perverse fear of having sex with a "conservative" woman.  LOL.  Could perhaps this gentleman be cognitively impaired?  Seriously.


Jan 14, 2013 2:41pm

I know it's cool to hate women and all, but guys can be just as selective. I don't think I'd be really interested in dating a virgin at this stage of my life unless she had a ton of other personal traits that were so unbelievably awesome that the first few instances of awkward sex could be forgiven. 

However, I'll throw my hat in with the advice to not make it a big deal, get some self-esteem, present yourself as a well-adjusted, friendly guy and dress right so that you can at least go on a few dates with someone you like. If that person likes you for who you are and you eventually get comfortable enough to make out with that person, then that person is probably going to be a lot cooler about the virginity thing after they've grown to like you. In the heat of passion, people don't think as clearly and if some woman I really liked finally admitted she was a virgin right then after we started fooling around, I'd probably just roll with it instead of picking up my shit and running for the door.  


Jan 14, 2013 4:33pm


if some woman I really liked finally admitted she was a virgin right then after we started fooling around, I'd probably just roll with it instead of picking up my shit and running for the door.  


And in the one case I know of where I had sex with a virgin, that was pretty much exactly what happened. She was so mature, literate and sex/touch-positive in other ways, had all sorts of libertine friends and buddies, she just hadn't ever 'gone all the way' yet. And it was fine. That relationship lasted for over 10 yrs.




Jan 21, 2013 12:43pm

Lighten up, Francis.


Jan 21, 2013 2:04pm

It shows that you have no drive, or ambition, and women aren't interested in a guy like that.

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