Jan 9, 2013 8:48pm

if bedroom bondage is more popular today than it has been in the past, do you think that it is because there is less REAL bondage (arranged marriages and/or the inability to divorce or live within society outside of your marriage) now? 


Jan 10, 2013 9:46am

No. It's because feminism, porn, electronic media, child models, less spiritually-based lives. In a nutshell.


Jan 10, 2013 3:48pm

More exposure and acceptance of things that were once a factor in alternate lifestyles, but are now more commonly practiced.


Jan 10, 2013 4:27pm

Bedroom bondage is a method used to make sex more exciting. It has nothing to do with the kind of bondage the OP mentioned


Jan 11, 2013 5:55pm

Only tangentially.  I'd say that they both stem from how societal taboos towards anything "abnormal" have weakened across the board.


Jan 20, 2013 4:27pm

I believe there is no more bedroom bondage today than there was 10 or 20 years ago.  I think that it's simply less taboo to admit that you do it now, due to media exposure.

I also strongly doubt any connection between arranged marriages or the ability to get a divorce and bondage for fun in the bedroom.


Jan 23, 2013 2:35pm

I definitely agree that mass media has a big hand in how supposedly 'open' people are today- people were gay and engaging in bondage long before it was on tv...long before there was tv...


Jan 23, 2013 5:16pm

I would think it is because there is so much more information about bondage then there used to be.

Nowadays the kids get their sex education by watching free samples of porn on the internet.


Jan 24, 2013 1:09am

pretty much.


Jan 24, 2013 8:21pm

Supply and demand: What women won't do, men will find on the internet. With hotter women. For free.

It's the very real fear of obsolescence that's driving women to kink.


Feb 1, 2013 2:12pm

Here are a couple of things to consider about love and marriage in the US.

In colonial times it was quite common to think of loving your wife too much to be a vice.

Love for the sake of marriage really only became the norm starting in the 1920s.

Prior to 1962, sodomy was a criminal felony in all states and many included even married couples.

Until 1965 you had no legal right to buy birth control as a married couple in the US and it was an actual criminal offence in several areas.

Until 1972 single women had no right to purchase birth control and it was an actual criminal offence in some areas.

As recently as 1986 the United States Supreme Court ruled that anti sodomy laws were constitutional.

While most states started to get rid of those laws the Supreme Court did not overturn that 1986 ruling until 2003.  Remember that sodomy doesn't just apply to homosexual sex it also applied to oral and hetro sex in most places.

When couples did enjoy those type of activities they kept it on the down low due to social and legal issues.

But as someone who often had to work on peoples computers before the commercial Internet I can tell you there was a LOT of it and is a LOT of it going on in a very wide cross section of bedrooms around the nation.

The real problem with your theory is that the sub is the one that is in control of the play.  It really is only possible because women (and men) have more control and the freedom to enjoy sex for recreation, not due to a desire to be chattel .


Feb 13, 2013 11:42am

Bondage is popular because it requires interaction between the two participating individuals - the top/bottom  Or rigger/bunny.  Whatever you want to call the necessary roles, they are highly interactive and dynamic.  And neglect not the requisite communication and subsequent intimacy component oh-so-highly prized and important to the human psyche.  Because without, it is inconceivable to participate in.  Blood stasis/compartmentalization syndrome/nerve compression and subsequent permanent neuropathy are very real possible medical sequela to indulging in regardless of competence level.  To not communicate during, every time, continuously, is negligence at best and permanently maiming at worst. 

Or that it actually feels good and pleasurable.   And the possible "subspace" of "ropespace" felt by men and women alike who do not identify/align necessarily as "sub/Dom" or "Master/slave".  It is a very real biochemical deviation from "normal" consciousness.  Go ask Temple Grandin about it.  And it's a state to strive to return to once tasted.

Plus there is a very large, very easily accessible, source of information and peer-to-peer networking available regarding online these days.  Look at the rope groups on FetL that weren't there even three years ago.  Not to mention local group meetups and practice sessions/play parties commonly available for a given community.

What's not to love/desirable concerning?  Why surprise at the surge in "popularity"?

Never you mind the "status" suspension skills engender within this "exclusive" social grouping when it comes to...


May 26, 2013 9:14am

Personally I'd consider it more fear of the unknown that drives things. The example I use is look back a few years to where spanking your partner was considered kinda weird. That's normal so people find the next thing and then that gets normal and then so on.


Jun 1, 2013 11:24am

ur all mummies


Jun 23, 2013 8:08am

I don't feel that it is spreading, More like it was always there and just becoming more apparent as people open up to explore their sexual freedom. There is, in truth, a lot of freedom in bondage.


Jun 27, 2013 10:13am

Back in the day it was difficult to find someone to do bondage with, because if you told a potential sex partner that you were in to pain and humiliation, they might think you were a freak, and they would reject you.

Now that we have the internet and you can meet people in cyberspace without telling them your real name. You can use google to find a cruel master that you can submit to, so now everyone wants to do it.


Oct 20, 2013 12:23pm

this thread is about wargaming, silly

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