So how screwed up am I?

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fineinthefire

Nov 23, 2012

Ok Thread title speaks for itself.

What9Thousand

Nov 23, 2012

I can't even tell what whoever you quoted is trying to say. Or what you're trying to say.

fineinthefire

Nov 23, 2012

Cool new pic W9K.

Times up. Thank you gritsucker for the translation.

DrGeniusWiener

Nov 23, 2012

Gotta agree with Mr. 9Thousand on this one.

gritsucker

Nov 23, 2012

He didn't actually quote Sushi in the OP. This is what she said: 

So, I have to ask. Why is "the friend zone" a bad place? I mean, fuck that bitch, she treats you as a friend! How low can you get! Being someone's friend is _awful_... right?

Except... it isn't.

I mean, yeah, I get that when you fancy someone you'd rather be their lover than their friend, but even so, I find it really weird when people talk about the friend zone as if putting someone in the friend zone is a punishment, and one only meted out by evil manipulative bad people. 

So to answer what you were asking before you edited (I think, at least), it might feel bad because 1) You didn't get what you wanted, and 2) It's still a form of rejection since the person is turning you down as someone she wants to date.  

shoegal71

Nov 23, 2012

It's about hopes and expectations. If you are dreaming all day about pie and ice cream, and all you get is pie, the lack of ice cream makes that pie just a bit less perfect.

KingEsoteric

Nov 23, 2012

Because you tried, failed, and are now not where you want to be. So it might feel like a punishment if you're the type to get hung up on these things.

Why is "the friend zone" a bad place?

To answer Sushi, it's because "the friend zone" is effectively emotional limbo in a lot of cases. People often don't keep their boundaries like they ought.

 

fineinthefire

Nov 23, 2012

^basically. I write then edit for 11 minutes.  I wasn't expecting comments before the 10 minutes were up.

I do want to try to change my thinking however.

DrGeniusWiener

Nov 23, 2012

Are we talking Facebook friended?

DrGeniusWiener

Nov 23, 2012

I'm still confused.

What9Thousand

Nov 23, 2012

The "friend zone" is just a term used by malcontent dudes to villify women for not being romantically attracted to them. If you've got a crush on some girl and she's not attracted to you, either be friends with her or don't, but don't act like she did something bad to you.

It's not her fault she's not into you any more than it's yours.

fineinthefire

Nov 23, 2012

^ Can't help it. I take things too personally/hate rejection. Another thing I need to work on. How to not take things personally.

It's not her fault she's not into you any more than it's yours.

Its probably me.

gritsucker

Nov 23, 2012

Nobody likes rejection, dude. 

shoegal71

Nov 23, 2012

Truth.

SillySmartie

Nov 23, 2012

You know, fitf, you can always CHOOSE not to stay friends with women you're attracted to. So if you make an advance, and she puts you in the friend zone, you can choose to not continue the friendship. If not having her for a friend hurts less than being someone she likes hanging out with and chat with. 

Additionally, are you really going to tell me that in your 26 years, you have never had a lady friend who liked you romantically that you just did not feel that way about her? Like she's more like a sister to you? Or she's fun and cool, but you just don't have romantic, sexual feelings for her?

People of both sexes find themselves "friend zoned" once in a while. It's up to you to be an adult and decide if you like their company enough to get over your pining and be an actual friend, or move on and not be friends at all.

shoegal71

Nov 23, 2012

(If the pie just isn't worth it without the ice cream, don't eat the pie.)

fineinthefire

Nov 23, 2012

Additionally, are you really going to tell me that in your 26 years, you have never had a lady friend who liked you romantically that you just did not feel that way about her? Like she's more like a sister to you? Or she's fun and cool, but you just don't have romantic, sexual feelings for her?

Nope. I've also never dumped anyone or voluntarily asked to be a woman's friend unless that woman is a senior citizen. I can easily hang around senior citizens and other guys. Women say 18-35. nope.

I hate being alone obviously. Hell, obviously without this forum I'm literally a recluse/pariah yknow.

Although looks like I'm going to maybe hang around other humans tomorrow.

What9Thousand

Nov 23, 2012

I take things too personally/hate rejection. Another thing I need to work on.

Yep.

If it makes you feel better, you can fix it. Six or seven years ago, I was like you; all angsty and personally hurt that nobody wanted to date me. But that's a big part of why nobody wanted to date me. People can sense that shit.

It was only after I fully and truly accepted that I would probably be single and a virgin forever that a tidal wave of women came crashing down around me, all fighting and screaming and pulling each other's hair just for a chance to get at my dick.

I imagine the Buddha must have felt similar in the single, indescribable moment in which he attained enlightenment.

Salaman_

Nov 23, 2012

I bet shoey's pie is perfect

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

think i may still be hungary

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

better go eat 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

again  :P

DrGeniusWiener

Nov 23, 2012

If one consistently finds they're only becoming friends with people to whom they're romantically or sexually attracted, then the term "friend" takes on much more gravity.

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