satyaology

Apr 19, 2012

Is there a way to completely block someone from looking at your profile? I don't want to disable my account because my ex keeps looking at my page, seeing if I'm online and then texting me and emailing me about it. It's not fun. Any suggestions? If this goes on I will have to disable my account, which is a bummer. Thanks!

sfguyyy

Apr 19, 2012

No.

And it would be a pointless feature on a free site like this that doesn't require verifiable proof of someone's identity before creating an account here. Because if you did have a way to block them via "profile A", all they would have to do is create "profile B" (takes 3 minutes) and they've just evaded your "block".

If you want bulletproof identities/blocking on a dating site, then I recommend "true.com". They do a background check before they allow anyone to create a profile there.

(FYI: you can block someone from communicating with you here, but that doesn't sound like it addresses your desire.)

One other idea: create an incognito profile without any recognizable pics and perhaps with a slightly changed location and other easily-identified profile details, and explain in your profile that you will send more details/pics to people once you feel comfy w/ them due to a stalker problem.

 

STAMINA1975

Apr 19, 2012

^^ Yeah, that is annoying.

^ Is True.com free?

adorant

Apr 19, 2012

get a restraining order. guy's a nutjob.

sfguyyy

Apr 19, 2012

 

Is True.com free?

 

No.

 

 

RubyWinged

Apr 23, 2012

You could also tell your ex to stop and that if s/he doesn't, that you'll call the cops. If that doesn't work, actually call the cops. Don't bluff. Even if you block him/her on the site, create an incognito profile, and/or disable the account, s/he might just seek out another way to harass you.

Adrimichelle

Nov 26, 2012

That's kinda dumb to not atleast have the option of blocking someone. Facebook is free and you can block them, they could make up a new page, but atleast you get the option. Most people don't want to spend the time creating a new account just to stalk someone, and if they do you should be able to block that as well. I say this because I love this website, but I'm kinda dealing with a stalker from here who not only stalks me on here, but now he's doing it in person.
sfguyyy

Nov 26, 2012

 

Adrimichelle: First of all, OkCupid DOES have a blocking feature that allows people to prevent someone from communicating with them. Whether that is effective or not is easy to determine because if they stop communicating with you it's effective.

OkCupid does NOT have a feature to allow someone to be "invisible" to some particular account, because among other things, since you cannot determine whether it is actually working (because you have no reliable way to know if the person "can't see you"), and because in many cases it simply would not work (see below) it would be like offering a feature that randomly and unpredictably fails to do what it claims to do.

A dating website like this one is typically "pseudonymous" because people don't want their elementary-school pupils or their granny or their boss wandering in and reading all about their sexual proclivities and such. That's why it's highly stressed to NOT put actual personal details like your legal name in your profile.

The corollary of that is there is no way to guarantee A) what a person's true identity is, and B) as a result of 'A', you cannot reliably prevent someone from creating multiple accounts (despite it being a site policy violation for a single individual to create multiple accounts) because there is no reliable way to link the identity of the owner of account 'A' to the identity of the owner of account 'B' and thus prevent them from creating more than one account to circumvent such a block.

Facebook on the other hand is typically designed to be about a person's verifiable 'true identity', typically with a user's full legal name in public view and so on. I don't know what Facebook does to try to determine whether a user is 'real' or not (I refuse to use it because of their exploitation of personal data), but as I wrote previously, if you can't verify someone's identity, it's pointless to have a blocking feature that can't guarantee it actually works as claimed. It would actually attract lawsuits over fraud and false claims.

 

sfguyyy

Nov 26, 2012

 

And BTW, if someone is stalking you in person you need to get law enforcement involved. There's little OkCupid can do can address such things once a person has personal data on you that allows him to contact or follow you in person.

How did he get your personal details to stalk you in person?

 

Andrew_

Nov 26, 2012

Didn't the okcupid introduction or something used to say someone could see the first time you viewed their profile but never again? I even remember it saying something like "so feel free to stalk away."

sfguyyy

Nov 26, 2012

 

Didn't the okcupid introduction or something used to say someone could see the first time you viewed their profile but never again? I even remember it saying something like "so feel free to stalk away."

 

I've been here around 6 years now and I don't recall that particular wording. FWIW, profile view logs have never shown each time a person clicks on a profile, it only shows an entry for the last time someone viewed your profile. Assuming one or both of you don't have anonymous browsing enabled.

They did use to call profile views "stalks" and those who viewed your profile "stalkers", but those terms went away the last few years as did a lot of other things in an apparent effort to tone down the 'edginess' to appeal more to the mainstream.

 

 

Julianhx

Feb 27, 2013

It really would be a nice option.  I just parted ways with someone and 5 days later I get a match notification and it's them for like 95%.  I went to her profile to see If I can block her but I can't.  I know when she see's that I'm on this site it's going to hurt her feelings.  I would really like to have not have done that.  When people form relationships and they fail they need the ability to cut ties with that person.  

Sushibitch

Feb 27, 2013

If you hide her profile, she shouldn't appear in your matches and you shouldn't appear in hers.

If she's on the site, though, surely it won't actually hurt her to find out you are too (unless you were active on the site before you split up)?

Word-Lover

May 17, 2013

Try the hide option. 

MadelineLime

May 19, 2013

Hide only works if they don't change their name. Once they do, they show up again. And if you're like me and have someone who changes their name every few weeks, they get to keep showing up every single fucking time. (I don't know if this applies to block? God I hope not)

Chaeddd

May 19, 2013

I'm sorry Madeline, but this is the curse of beauty.

Some nerd sees your picture and checks out your profile. He sees you are interested in Dragon*con and many other things he is also interested in. He is interested in fantasy, and he creates one about you and him hooking up and living happily ever after.

Of course, IRL you would think his personality is repulsive, but in fantasy, he has never actually met you so there is always the possibility that you won't reject him, and to him that is fascinating.

MadelineLime

May 19, 2013

Wow, way to make a bunch of assumptions and come off as a white knight. One, I met up with him and he's attractive, we just didn't hit it off and it was weird. Two, he's not looking at my profile. He changes his name and then shows up again, which is inadvertently circumventing the hide feature. You might want to think twice before you make a bunch of assumptions about a situation and a person to what, flatter me? Or was that an introspection? I don't even know, reading it was just hells awkward. Also this wasn't remotely about me, and way to start victim blaming. "The curse of beauty." Shut the hell up.

Eat_Pray_Die

May 19, 2013

^ Madeline, meet Chaeddd the OKC Forum Troll.

^^ Chaeddd, drop dead and fuck yourself on the way down. You're a waste of human sperm, a fact of which you are all too painfully aware as are your "parents" (as if they even knew/know each other).

Chaeddd

May 19, 2013

Madeline, please don't take Eat_Pray_Die's post seriously. I am not a troll.

She is gay and therefore she is mad at me because I am one of the people here who think gay marriage is a scam.

What the gays are doing is attacking anyone who speaks up and reveals that gay marriage is a scam, they hope that nobody will tell America that gay marriage is a scam and we will allow gay judges to rewrite our laws on marriage.

I am not a homophobe either. In fact if I had been born female, I would be a lesbian.

Eat_Pray_Die

May 19, 2013

She is gay and therefore she is mad at me because I am one of the people here who think gay marriage is a scam.

Looks like somebody got their feelings hurt. :..-( Gay marriage a "scam." A scam is defined as a scheme for getting something by doing little to nothing (e.g. tax exemptions for religious organizations, special interest groups, and corporations). If gay marriage is a scam (and it's still illegal in many states) what are gays and lesbians getting exactly? I mean apart from the same legal rights as heterosexual married couples? So not only is Chaeddd a troll but he's an incredibly ignorant one as well.The real scam here is Chaeddd trying to convince everyone he's both heterosexual and straight. 

In fact if I had been born female, I would be a lesbian.

Start transitioning. Let us know how that works for ya.

 

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