Do you think it's necessary to add "Looking for One Night Stand" option?

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NextTimer

Mar 19, 2013

Hello everyone. I've been using OKC for several years from now and almost all the time I bumped into a problem of misunderstanding what casual sex means. I think girls who put it in their profiles are familiar with that, as they get bombarded by hundreds of guys on daily basis just because there's "casual sex" in the profiles. And girls try to explain, most of them, that they don't need a "one night stand" or "hookup", that instead they rather look for non drama relationships concentrated on sex with a hot guy. But it's really a problem for guys to tell if they are hot or not. Most of men consider themselves the best, even unconsciously and strongly believe that if a girl wants a casual sex, that means he can contact her and in few hours plow her in her or his apartment.

To resolve that confusion I offer to add one more option that would help people who really look for quick sexual adventure. A "one night stand". In that case if a girl chooses one, her intentions will be obvious and she will receive as much attention from right guys as she wants.  And "casual sex girls" would feel a relief from constant "let's get laid" proposals. 

Please, share you thoughts! :)

Sushibitch

Mar 19, 2013

I think even someone just looking for a hookup may decide once they meet a prospective shag that they don't fancy him/her after all, so I'm not sure it would necessarily be helpful to give people the impression that there's an option which gives them an absolute guarantee.

NextTimer

Mar 19, 2013

Well of course there's never a guarantee that they get what they look for but at least there will be no confusion. 

Sushibitch

Mar 19, 2013

But my point is that it could still lead to confusion, if one person thinks "hookup" means "Guaranteed sex, no take-backs" and the other thinks it means "Possible sex, if the chemistry is there, but not otherwise".

NextTimer

Mar 19, 2013

That's just details or even matter of likeness, I'm sure people can sort them out without problems. 

But it will cover the major difference between casual sex relationships and one time sex. 

Sushibitch

Mar 19, 2013

That's just details or even matter of likeness, I'm sure people can sort them out without problems.

Can't they also sort out the difference between one-time sex and ongoing casual sex?

NextTimer

Mar 19, 2013

You know, everyone can sort out everything between Long Distance and Casual Sex while chatting. The point is that the difference between these two are considerable enough to make them two separate options so people don't get confused and don't waste time and don't get annoyed. For the same purpose I offer to add "one time stand". 

onlyifandif

Mar 19, 2013

How does this solve the fundamental problems?

1. Guys will still filter (stupidly) on it, and assume that "casual sex" equates to "casual sex with me".

2. Most girls open to it will refuse to list it because it just gets them spam from sub-par men.

NextTimer

Mar 19, 2013

1. Guys won't refer to casual sex as to sex in general anymore. And they would filter only for those girls who want nothing but sex at the moment. The rest is a question of match and how they like each other.

 

2. That's exactly my point. For now spam and sex offers come for "casual sex" in huge numbers though most of the girls don't look for hookups they are offered. So only those who will be willing to list it will get those messages, but not everyone not interested in drama, like now. 

Sushibitch

Mar 19, 2013

So is the problem here that you want to find people to bang once and never contact again, and every time you contact a girl who lists "casual sex" in her profile, she wants a FWB situation, but isn't interested in just a one-night stand?

NextTimer

Mar 19, 2013

the point is right, but it's not me, but thousands of guys littering girls' IM boxes. 

Sushibitch

Mar 19, 2013

Are there a lot of women who list casual sex on their profiles? What proportion of those are likely to list "hook-up", do you think?

NextTimer

Mar 19, 2013

You can check it yourself, pretty a lot as you can see. And "one night stand" can be checked once in a while when she/he want it. Not all the time. That's the specific and difference from "casual sex". 

Sushibitch

Mar 19, 2013

^ I can't check for straight women looking for men, unless I change my profile...

I'm not sure why someone couldn't check "casual sex" just when they fancied a shag, quite as easily as checking "hookup"? Either way, it seems to me that all you need to do is when you contact someone, ask "Are you looking for a hookup or a FWB thing? I'm just looking for a one-off, not an on-going arrangement".

NextTimer

Mar 19, 2013

That's exactly what is going on. Guys who are mainly much more open in their desire of sex message girls with "casual sex" asking them what they want. Or starting with sexual offers right away. Girls get overwhelmed by that, tired of it and it only reduces their chances to pick someone really good from all those hordes of guys. That's what I think is not necessary and can easily be fixed by adding an additional option. 

Sushibitch

Mar 19, 2013

But if the issue is that girls don't want to be approached for a one-nighter, how is giving them the option of a one-nighter going to help?

NextTimer

Mar 19, 2013

If they don't want one nighters - they don't put "one night stand" in their profile. Easy as that. 

Professor712

Mar 19, 2013

Ok you want to solve a problem that is generally caused by people who don't give a fuck what they put in their own profile, and don't give a fuck what other people put in their profile. They don't read most profiles and if they do they don't act like it. This is like building more stop signs for people who completely ignore red lights and stop signs and speed through them at 150 mph while wearing sunglasses at night, and trying to get them to stop.  

Anybody seriously looking for casual sex would want the best they can get. So, even if they did get to chose those 2 options they would say hot people only to get the best they can get. This is simple common sense. The only people who don't do that are so desperate you don't need a option to tell you that they will fuck anything. 

OkCupid would be better putting casual sex as a A-list only option and use that to make it less of a headache for most and allow for intelligent stuff in regards. But, I don't think that will work very well since most people who do that here - don't want to pay for it.

Sushibitch

Mar 19, 2013

If they don't want one nighters - they don't put "one night stand" in their profile. Easy as that.

OK; so what happens if the option is introduced, and no women use it. Do you think the men looking for one-nighters will give up and go away? Or will they keep on trying to get one-nighters from people who haven't listed that option?

wolpertinger_

Mar 19, 2013

Do you really think guys messaging girls for one night stands would care to make a distinction between the two? Really? I think that's a bit naive of you, OP. 

Their strategy is akin to carpet bombing. (i.e. send enough messages and you'll find someone who'll reply eventually)

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