DandendGiant

Jan 27, 2013

So I was wondering if there is a set amount of days that I should wait before asking to meet up with a girl that answered the meet up question saying that she is hesitant. I would assume that a week is good for any normal girl, but should still wait longer than that. So are girls that are hesitant about meeting up with a person they met online needing more time to get to know said person before the first date?

chucker23n

Jan 27, 2013

So I was wondering if there is a set amount of days

No.

I would assume that a week is good for any normal girl, but should still wait longer than that.

No. Close the deal.

So are girls that are hesitant about meeting up with a person they met online needing more time to get to know said person before the first date?

No, they're lying. At best, you're their backup, and at worst, they're too dishonest to tell you they're not into you.

Conrad_Nomikos

Jan 27, 2013

I would assume that a week is good for any normal girl, but should still wait longer than that.

You'd assume wrong. A week is way too much, and you'd be giving off a vibe of insecurity. Kinda like you're doing now...

twohundredtwelve

Jan 28, 2013

Instead of giving her more time, ask her (or better yet, figure out on your own by paying attention to cues) what makes her feel comfortable. Maybe she needs to chat more, spend time on the phone, know more about you, or needs to do something low key and in public, etc.

I gotta admit though, unless she is brand new to the idea of online dating or had a recent stalker, I agree with Chucker:

No, they're lying. At best, you're their backup, and at worst, they're too dishonest to tell you they're not into you.

 

ThatCharmsChick

Jan 28, 2013

I will make a guy chat with me for weeks or months before meeting, but I'm far from a "normal girl".

 

One reason is shyness and so it takes someone REALLY awesome (and persistent) to get me to want to venture out of my comfort zone. 99% of the guys I talk to never persuade me to meet. 

Conrad_Nomikos

Jan 28, 2013

Which fits exactly into the "I am not interested in meeting dudes" zone...

CampAnawanna_

Jan 28, 2013

 Any body size is fine, but anything after, let's say, 200-225 is more of a friendzone area. Sorry. :(

 

OP has a weight requirement on his profile

lawl

Phyrewerx

Jan 28, 2013

You know a lot can or cannot happen in a week. If there is just one email exchange- it's not a lot going on. If there are daily email exchanges it's a lot more promising.

Pay attention to what the girl is doing. Is she writing you back in a timely fashion? Or does it take her 1-3 weeks to reply?

Is she writing back real responses? Is she asking you questions about you? Or is it just some tepid one liners?

You need to be able to gauge her interest. Not go and set a count down timer on your computer and expect that to give you the answer.

shoegal71

Jan 28, 2013

The only reasons I've ever been hesitant to go out with someone I somewhat liked is because either they had nothing in their profile or I was starting to date someone else.

For me, you'd have enough in your profile if I were interested in the same things, but you could definitely also do some work cleaning up your writing and making yourself more attractive to the reader.

play non challenging video games
serf the web

But I wouldn't put much emotional energy into this particular gal.

Sushibitch

Jan 28, 2013

So I was wondering if there is a set amount of days that I should wait before asking to meet up with a girl that answered the meet up question saying that she is hesitant.

Man, I can't believe this still needs explaining, it's so simple!

All you have to do is take the number of words in her profile, divide it by her height in centimetres (if she says she's hesitant to meet) or inches (if she's keen to meet). Add the number of days since the last full moon, divide by pi, and then do a simple fourier transform on the whole thing. Turn it into a vector, multiply by her birthdate, and boom, there's your formula for the set number of days you should wait before asking her out.

Easy, huh?

shoegal71

Jan 28, 2013

I think you're supposed to add whipped cream to the pi and then multiply, not divide.

chucker23n

Jan 28, 2013

You should be ashamed of yourselves for misleading OP like that. Everyone knows it's age divided by two plus seven modulo lunar phase.

ThatCharmsChick

Jan 28, 2013

^^ and ^^^ win the thread. 

Conrad_Nomikos

Jan 28, 2013

It thought that the whole idea was to go forth and multiply... Also, chocolate.

MrsIselin

Jan 28, 2013

a simple fourier transform

I'm afraid to look this up. 

shoegal71

Jan 28, 2013

a simple fourier transform

I'm afraid to look this up.

I saw that and did exactly what I did when I read Foucault's Pendulum.  I assumed that the author was making things up in order for him/her to appear incredibly intelligent.  It's my understanding that Eco really did know his shit, and I would guess the same for Sushi, but it otherwise makes me feel really small to not know wtf they're talking about. :)

DrGeniusWiener

Jan 28, 2013

Try a humorous one-liner on her at first.

You know... just to break the ice.

Read the 'Rebuttal and Gender Dynamics in Online Dating' thread for more pointers.

MrsIselin

Jan 28, 2013

^^I'm used to having no clue when it comes to anything mathematical, though. I'd take Foucault over algebra any day. 

*shudder*

Sushibitch

Jan 28, 2013

^^^ *heh* To be honest, I know it's a complicated bit of maths beloved of engineers and physicists, but I've never had to use one myself, thank goodness!

chucker23n

Jan 28, 2013

I'm afraid to look this up.

Fourier transforms are dirty mathematician stuff.

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