ladycunegonde

Nov 4, 2013

Thought this was an interesting article. First because I'm from Brooklyn and second because it showed I'm not alone in the stupid emails I get from guys 95% of the time. Thoughts?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2486472/Brooklyn-women-picky-country-men-looking-love-target-Jersey-City.html

smashingmayo

Nov 5, 2013

I know one thing. My general area has almost nobody on these sites. For one thing the females are so hot in this area they probably constantly have bfs.

sfguyyy

Nov 5, 2013

 

I'm not sure what aspect of that article you were referring-to.

Forgetting about the fact that OkCupid hasn't had an email "subject line" for at least a year now, the nature of messages you seem to be referring-to is common everywhere, not just here.

Most men are dumb and getting dumber, it seems. At least in the USA.

The migration of communication to online and electronic/textual variants has also helped accelerate people's lack of social skills.

As for whether the women in Brooklyn are "pickier" or not - the simple fact that someone looks at response rates on some online web dating site doesn't necessarily translate directly into "pickiness". It could just be they get more messages or more dumb messages there, or all sorts of other unmeasured variables.

WskyTangoFoxtrot

Nov 5, 2013

This was the daily mail..  not exactly top notch journalism..  

I think it's interesting that MN was in the pickiest..  I grew up there and they tend to be much less shallow than...

     CA women.

Most of whom get delusion once logged on.  Even an moderately overweight chick has entitled rants in her profile.  You know how a few means 20 or more when it comes to online weight.  None the less her profile reads like. I am into guys with features lighter than mine.  I like beefcakes. I like athletic guys. I love alpha males.. I'm looking for a bread winner...etc  despite the fact that she has probably not exercised since high school PE class. 

The response rate does have a lot of variables.  Dumb and dumber "so UR tellin me theirs a chance" emails likely come into play.   However, many women seem to be looking to fill some absurd standards.  

The only measure of that variable is comparing the attitudes and ordeal I go through to setup a date online vs the ease with which I can set up dates with successful attractive women I met out in the real world. 

I'm just on here for entertainment at this point.  If I meet an exception to what the online norm is then I'll date but until then I'm no longer taking it seriously.

 

 

delab13

Nov 8, 2013

Sorry, but I agree with the linked post. Culture does make a difference. Even when i first started online dating I found girls outside of my main city where always more likely to respond. It was pretty depressing.

suntzu56

Nov 9, 2013

My friend recently wrote a blog about the very same topic. I'm hesitant to link it without her permission though. As someone who reads these forums from time to time, I see mostly women complaining about bad messages and men complaining about lack of responses. Eliminating one word messages and messages containing dick pics, can the remainder of messages really be that bad? 

Unlike sfguyy, I'd like to think that my fellow man retains some cranial capacity. But maybe I'm dreaming?

suntzu56

Nov 9, 2013

My friend recently wrote a blog about the very same topic. I'm hesitant to link it without her permission though. As someone who reads these forums from time to time, I see mostly women complaining about bad messages and men complaining about lack of responses. Eliminating one word messages and messages containing dick pics, can the remainder of messages really be that bad? 

Unlike sfguyy, I'd like to think that my fellow man retains some cranial capacity. But maybe I'm dreaming?

Jim_fromspace

Nov 9, 2013

how much where you are, matters, is bizarre. 

seismologist

Nov 9, 2013

I grew up in St. Louis, so when I go back for periods of time, I find it easier to meet up with people on OkC (or other sites) for a drink than I do in VT. I think people in northern new england require more vetting time to meet for a cup of coffee. I don't want to email/text for months before you want to meet in person. So, either people are lying about their looks/behaviorisms OR they are just too shy to meet people in person, and I just lose interest. If I lived in a small city, I'd have no problem dating. In the sticks in the single most uptight region of the country I've ever lived in, I just don't bother using sites like these for dating. 

 

MisterCreep

Nov 9, 2013

I read one of these things on Canada that said Vancouver (where I'm currently living) is the pickiest and Toronto (where I'm from) is the least picky. From my limited online dating experience, I haven't noticed a huge difference either way. If anything I'd say the vangirls are a little friendlier. So I wouldn't read too much into those "studies".

elliebear

Nov 9, 2013

New York is probably picky based on the sheer volume of single people. 

sfguyyy

Nov 9, 2013

 

If there is one thing that will never change about online dating (and dating in general), people always seem to look for simplistic "explanations" why they aren't successful for some reason.

Whether they convince themselves that "men in Minneapolis don't like redheads", or "Toronto is pickier" bla bla bla... oversimplification, rationalization and blame-shifting are way more common than people who actually look at what they're doing and try to figure out how to do it more successfully.

 

suntzu56

Nov 10, 2013

^ That I can co-sign.

elliebear

Nov 10, 2013

There is always the male-to-female ratio. If a city has 2 women for every man then it would make sense why women would have a harder time finding available men. 

user458

Nov 10, 2013

I've heard the same, but I convinced a random New York socialite to send me nudes with very little effort a couple years back. I can't imagine the women are the problem in the area. 

WskyTangoFoxtrot

Nov 10, 2013

When I was recovering at a military medical facility in Wa state replies from Wa women were easier to come by than LA women.   However, women from Oregon were emailing me first and even offering to drive up to date me.  Around LA they will nearly tell you fuck off for being military and if you are more than 15 miles from her place it's still just too far even if you are the one driving.   

There are drastic differences in demographics that effect response rates.  It's still your fault if you can't find a work around for them..   However some areas really are a lot harder. 

elliebear

Nov 10, 2013

When I was dating I found it harder to find dates on Long Island than in NYC. it wasn't me being picky, I just didn't find too many men on Long Island to date. NYC was by far easier to find a date. 

Gagin

Nov 11, 2013

^^Likely because there's monogamous women there tired/fed-up with PolyPortland.

sfguyyy

Nov 11, 2013

 

If a city has 2 women for every man then it would make sense...

 

I don't think there are many places in the USA where that ratio is true beyond someone's flawed empirical gut feeling. Even in the demographic over 70 years old where men are dying earlier than women I don't think the female to male ratio is that high.

Maybe somewhere at war where the men are all dying in battle or something.

 

MrRoboto25

Nov 11, 2013

My city because if you search up the last activity in my city you will see so few matches that you even wonder why I'm still on here. The same thing can be said for POF. It just appears online dating in this area is dead or literally a majority of women in my city have b/fs so its really hard to find anybody.

Post a comment