TamTam_26

Aug 27, 2013

I have so much guilt. 

Went on a date with a guy and could tell he really really liked me and wanted a second date. I agreed and during the second date we really hit it off. It was great. Spend the night together, little sooner than I would have liked. We talked about very private things, even about our pasts. I mentioned that I had an HIV scare from my ex and received negative on my test at the 4 month mark. (Had yet to do the 6 month confirmation but was sooo busy and taking care of other serious medical stuff it slipped my mind). He was very sympathetic. Stupid me, not even realizing that it would cause him great anxiety the next day because I still wasn't 100% negative and it went paranoid. I feel so awful and irresponsible about everything but it wasn't intentional. I rushed to get tested and it was negative and reassured him that it was okay. 

So I wonder if I've tarnished any chances. We have texted a few times, me apologizing and him saying he was just worried. Had every right to be scared and I truly didn't intend for this to happen or to even fall from someone so soon. I always practice safe sex so even when I was exposed it would have been unlikely. I really want to ask him if he'd ever want to see me again but I'm afraid to. If he wasn't interested wouldn't he just ignore my texts or be honest and tell me he is not interested anymore. He know I like him. 

Do you men tell a girl you're not interested so you don't mislead? I want peace of mind. 

empirestv007

Aug 27, 2013

If he's interested he will initiate something.  There are some big errors here though like having sex with someone you just met while not completely negative on an HIV test.  And since you had an HIV test it means you were irresponsible with someone else, who in turn wasn't responsible either.  Then you go ahead and tell him about the HIV scare before you know you have it.  Honesty is a good deal, but from a strategic POV probably fatal to any future relationship.  You would have discovered yourself to be negative and he wouldn't have the wiser.  

There's so much fail here...

What's with no pic?  I sense a troll plot here.  

TamTam_26

Aug 27, 2013

Thank you for the comment. 

I know in my heart it's all a fail and it's over. It's a deal breaker but I know he is not angry at me. It was certainly not intentional. I lost unfortunately. 

I took down my picture because I prefer to be anonymous at the moment esp when revealing something this big. And I would like to pause on dating for a little bit but will keep my profile. 

empirestv007

Aug 28, 2013

I would suggest deleting this profile, and then creating a new one.  Anyone searching for your new screen name will not know your previous one posted here.  

 

Miss-Music

Aug 28, 2013

What was your "HIV scare?" Did your ex get diagnosed? Did you just feel as though he had a bad past? Were you never safe with him? 

 

Feeling as though you weren't safe all the time with someone who say cheated isn't the same as never using protection with someone who is diagnosed. 

 

 

smashingmayo

Aug 28, 2013

music sure is posting a lot in this thread.... I hope that doesn't mean anything.

TamTam_26

Aug 28, 2013

My ex came to visit for a week. He did not know of the HIV. Then calls me 4 months later to say I need to be tested. We practiced safely and I tested negative so I felt confident. But of course need to do a 6 month test. It's now been a little over 6 months but had yet to take the test. But I was recently with someone before I got tested. I didn't hide the information, I just didn't even think about it. Sounds ridiculous that you could forget something this major but honestly I just did. Didn't expect to be with this new guy so soon, many many errors. Like I said, nothing was intentional and glad we are both safe. But the whole incident cost me a man I was really excited about. 

I will probably create a new profile soon or just delete altogether. I just needed to confess this somewhere. 

MsOtis

Aug 29, 2013

Do you men tell a girl you're not interested so you don't mislead? I want peace of mind.

Seriously? You had sex with him, without waiting for the 6month all clear testing?

And you want peace of mind?

You're lucky if he's even still speaking with you.

Chaeddd

Aug 29, 2013

"during the second date we really hit it off. It was great. Spend the night together,"

The problem is you date that kind of guy. If you find that a man like your ex, or that guy who scored on date 2 is appealing, other women find them appealing too. When you are in a relationship with that kind of man you have to worry. If he was able to get into your pants, he must have gotten into the pants of many other girls, so there is a good chance one of them had an STD. If you refuse to do him on date 2 he can just get another girl. And he will probablly find some other girl that he likes more than you, and he can hook up with her.

If you dated losers you wouldn't have this problem now.

xJealousOrchard

Aug 30, 2013

Spend the night together, little sooner than I would have liked.

You know you're allowed to say no, right

cbs4me

Aug 31, 2013

The problem is you date that kind of guy. If you find that a man like your ex, or that guy who scored on date 2 is appealing, other women find them appealing too. When you are in a relationship with that kind of man you have to worry. If he was able to get into your pants, he must have gotten into the pants of many other girls, so there is a good chance one of them had an STD. If you refuse to do him on date 2 he can just get another girl. And he will probablly find some other girl that he likes more than you, and he can hook up with her.

If you dated losers you wouldn't have this problem now.

As crass at the above paragraph sounds...it is the bitter truth.  He must have been a hot looker for you to give it up so quickly.  It is hard to say no to guys like that...but you have to remember you wanted it as much as him and since he can get girls to do his bidding quickly you are just another notch on the old belt.  It is a shame you do not have more self-respect for yourself than that and look for better character in men and not someone who uses women's bodies for selfish gratification.  You need to exercise much better judgment if you want a successful relationship and not ONS's.  

 

 

 

MTN85

Aug 31, 2013

I think this is something we can all agree on. You need to be more careful in general and try to date men that are in the state of mind of getting to know you, and even hesitant to spend the night so soon in the relationship, i.e. a true gentleman. It seems like everything will work out for the best, but I don't suspect he would call you back after scaring the shit out of him like that. Get tested, make sure you are all clear, and move on. Have more respect for yourself and your partners, and don't be afraid to say no or ask questions. If it scares them off, that is their problem. Better safe than sorry, etc. etc.

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