kateskayt

Sep 19, 2013

Greetings people of OkCupid,

I'm doing a bit of research for a university group work project aimed at creating a safe environment for strangers to meet face-to-face from the internet.

If you'd like to fill in our survey (I do love filling in surveys), I'd really appreciate it!
http://www.surveyexpression.com/Survey.aspx?id=e4a82a99-a158-4df7-b72f-cebb6eb42d6d

This research may be of interest to the OK Cupid community, in that it's around meeting people face-to-face after meeting them on the internet.

We think there's a gap, where people might want to meet people from online in a face-to-face situation, but are uncertain about making that step because of safety issues involved. I.e. the 21 year old girl you've been chatting with for a year might actually be a 64 year old man.

We've been through a few ideas on how to deal with it, the first was setting up designated 'meeting areas', working with cafes or bars that would, I suppose, keep an eye on the situation.

But the idea morphed into online verification and registration, much like I suppose something like the couch surfing website does, where people are registered and vouched for, but for very different purposes. With an additional facility for logging details about the meet up, i.e. where one proposes to go and who with, in case of the worst case scenario.

What do you guys think? Would people be interested in using a service like this? Can you see things being better a different way? What are your biggest concerns when meeting people from online and how to do combat these?

ColorsWolf

Sep 19, 2013

Well first of all I wouldn't see anything related to dating or anything in life as always "COMBAT".~ This warrior-programming from our society is utterly ridiculous.~

 

I think the biggest obstacle for me is finding someone who doesn't care about distance between us in order to even START talking.~

I'm a Sailor, distance is a challenge to me not an obstacle.~ The obstacle is finding someone who thinks the same.~

 

I think it would be FANTASTIC if we could all meet in a GROUP, people in groups tend to feel less in danger and safer.~ I think it might be related to an animal "herd" mentality.~

 

:)

khb17

Sep 20, 2013

Just out of curiosity, what are the "safety issues" that you think would arise from meeting a 64-year-old man who had been pretending to be a 21-year-old woman?  I mean, assuming he does agree to meet in person, from the moment you see him, it's going to be obvious that he's not 21 and not a woman.  So you feel embarrassed and creeped out, but then you turn around and leave and get on with your life.

Not denying that there are safety issues involved in meeting people online, but they're more or less the same as the safety issues involved in interacting with anyone anywhere.

ColorsWolf

Sep 20, 2013

khb17

Sometimes people can be lured into a trap, sometimes it hard and sometimes it's easy.~ It happens sometimes.~

ColorsWolf

Sep 20, 2013

Unfortunately the few times people ARE lured into a trap via the internet, the news will inevitably hear of it and do a report on it because it's something exciting and unusual but ignorant people will watch the news and assume that this happens to people on the internet MORE THAN HALF THE TIME and start spreading this false information.~

 

*sigh* For all its' technological and mental improvements and marvels, a majority of Humanity still seems to suffer from the "sheep" mentality.~ <.<

Chaeddd

Nov 30, 2013

While messaging people you meet on dating sites may sometimes seem like a waste of time, you have to remember that you only need to meet 1 person, so while these people seem like they are all rejects, there might be 1 good one mixed in with all that drecht.

The 64 year old man may appear attractive in his profile, but if you exchange a few messages, you will probably be able to figure out he is a phony.

Also if the person is a phony, he probably won't want to meet you in person.

If you live in the outback these dating sites may be the only way you can meet a lot of people, so I recommend you give it a try.

 

MisterCreep

Nov 30, 2013

To deal with safety issues, just meet somewhere that's pretty public.

As far as your idea about having a log of how your previous dates went...I HATE THE IDEA!

Jim_fromspace

Nov 30, 2013

some big scary wolves might go boo in the night and that might be mean

VaultBoy29

Nov 30, 2013

"I'm doing a bit of research for a university group work project aimed at creating a safe environment for strangers to meet face-to-face from the internet."

Um...coffee or drinks in a public place the way its been done for generations. Talking about "designated meeting areas" and "logging facilities" implies over-the-top paranoia and receptivity to police-state tactics. What kind of fucked up university do you go to?

bopinit

Dec 5, 2013

ALL universities are mental in what they study and the wasted monies given to them.

friendpolarbear

Dec 10, 2013

ALL universities are mental in what they study and the wasted monies given to them.

said the guy posting on the internet.

ShadowSkies

Dec 15, 2013

I have done couchsurfing

I have met people from internet forums who live on the other side of the world.

I recently went to LA, and on that forum, I have a friend there I've known for years, and really needed a place to sleep, so I literally met him, spent the night at his place, and had fun hanging with him and his friends, and left the next day. We gamed.
I got to play the new WiiU, it was grand.

And of course, there's okcupid. I really have gotten to get bored of time spent messaging back and forth without meeting.

If you live in the outback these dating sites may be the only way you can meet a lot of people, so I recommend you give it a try

I've lived in the outback for half a year! Yay! It was nice. That's all.

My general point is, this is not really needed. It's just adding to the hype of 'ohhh, you met off the internet, you don't really know them!' You know the same amount of information as meeting someone in a bar, or on the street.
Most people in the world are just fine. :P 

Mathman1ca

Dec 17, 2013

That doesn't sound like much of a safety issue. There aren't a lot of 64 year old men that can take me. But I think 64 year old men in the outback are cut from a different cloth, though. So who knows. 

In the outback it's entirely different than the big city, where you have starbuck's LITERALLY every half corner around a block. 

DiscoJer

Dec 17, 2013

I got to play the new WiiU, it was grand.

 

You have a much duller life than I would have thought given all that travelling. 

ATX_boat4fun

Dec 29, 2013

I really don't see a viable market for what you propose.  First meetings are typically located in public areas.  Women do not have to give out their address to meet on a first date from an online site.  I am sure there are some women who have safety concerns when it comes to dating and I do not discount that, but for every 1 woman who is overly-stressed about this, there are 10 other women who will readily meet a guy who seems attractive and a good match for them without any safety concerns.  I think a better and more efficient use of resources would be to publish guidelines for women who are new to online dating to give them tips and tricks, what to watch out for, etc.  There are so many red flags that are easy to spot on a dating profile or from a few message interactions.

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