ReelDancer

Oct 8, 2013

I've received positive feedback from girls who have messaged me, but I was wondering what the greater OKC community thought...

squigless

Oct 8, 2013

Looks good. Does it get you laid and, if so, with what type of women?

ReelDancer

Oct 8, 2013

Get me laid? I'm still trying to find girls actually willing to meet offline.  Or talk on the phone, at the very least...

squigless

Oct 8, 2013

Then I have no further comments or questions.

ReelDancer

Oct 8, 2013

lol I suspect there's a point inherent in your reply.  

khb17

Oct 8, 2013

You've certainly got the fun goofy schtick down pat.  But your profile makes you seem like one of those relentlessly goofy guys who doesn't know how to give it a rest and be serious when the occasion suits.  Guys like that annoy me.  But I'm probably not among your target audience.

Sushibitch

Oct 8, 2013

Yes, I agree with khb17; it's a bit relentlessly "I'm fun, I really am, see how fun I am, look at all the fun! I'm fun!". I suspect that played better at 22 than it does at 28 and I think combined with the non-answers about education and employment and the repeated comments about wanting to meet up, you're coming across as a bit of a demanding man-child, y'know? So I can see people going "Oh, hey, hilarious profile", but not actually wanting to date you, because underneath the jokes, there's not really a lot of substance in there, and the jokes are hiding rather than showing your personality. So I would say tone down the jokes a bit (keep some of them; humour is good, and obviously you wouldn't want to date someone who doesn't share your sense of humour) but show your "boyfriend material" side as well as your "life and soul of the party" side. You don't have to talk at length about jobs or education, but most women who want to date men in your age range want to know that they're not going to be tapped for money by the guy they're dating, and that he can be a grown-up when appropriate; so they want to know you have some kind of job, or at least that you're working towards having one, and that you can have a conversation which isn't just you making constant puns and wisecracks.

ReelDancer

Oct 8, 2013

Hmm.  Interesting.  If that is the impression I'm giving off, then I'm in a spot of bother.  I'd hate to rewrite it for the thousandth time - especially when I thought I finally got it - but apparently I'm still not quite there yet.  I'll have to see what I can do.

btw - I'm flattered that you think I have a "life and soul of the party" side.  I don't think those words have ever been used to describe me.  I'm usually the guy sitting in the corner quietly sipping a drink and watching everybody else slowly fail over the course of the night.

 

Maybe I should put that in my profile, eh?  :D

squigless

Oct 8, 2013

So you have a good profile that's a poor representation of the real you. That's about as useful as owning a $5,000 suit that doesn't fit.

especially when I thought I finally got it

But you aren't getting any.

ReelDancer

Oct 8, 2013

I thought you had no further comments or questions.  And I'm getting plenty:  I get nice bonuses at work, free stuff in the mail, and loads of electronic goodies off Craigslist.  Frankly, I don't know what you're talking about.

squigless

Oct 8, 2013

Chump change, junk mail and used electronics does not a cunt destroyer make.

ReelDancer

Oct 8, 2013

I seek it not to destroy, but to venerate it.

squigless

Oct 8, 2013

You're too soft; you've lost the battle before it's even begun.

As your romantic adviser, I say it's time to pull the pussy off the pedestal and start thinking a little more about conquest.

515013

Oct 9, 2013

Your profile has potential, but seems off-kilter for some reason.  Here are my three suggestions:

 

(1) You need more photos.  The first one with the duck actually works given a specific target audience, but you are going to need to show the girls a better time than just watching you sit beside a stuffed animal.  Get four more photos up there, two showing you with actual humans so that she feels comfortable you can deal with real life.  Also, the photo provided has a weird aura to it, like it's out of focus or photoshopped.  Get a sharper version if you can.

 

(2) The essays are off-balance.  "Self summary" is maybe 20 lines long, then "What I'm doing with my life" doesn't even warrant more than a flippant phrase?   Move some of that material from "self" to "what i'm doing", plus some of what you put in "self" really belongs in "favorite books".  All of this may seem nitpicky and trivial, but it makes you look like you put EFFORT into your profile, which in turn elevates you perceived value.

 

(3) The humor idea works, but yours is coming across as impersonal for some reason, despite your efforts to the contrary.  Find a way to poke a little more fun at yourself, while still taking the time to point out your strengths.  I'd also be wary of using girlish words applied to yourself, such as "giggling". Remove the first three trite one-liners in "I spend a lot of time".  Although amusing in some situations, really, they are just annoying in the context of our dating profile.

Sushibitch

Oct 9, 2013

btw - I'm flattered that you think I have a "life and soul of the party" side.  I don't think those words have ever been used to describe me.  I'm usually the guy sitting in the corner quietly sipping a drink and watching everybody else slowly fail over the course of the night.

In that case, your profile really isn't showing the kind of person you are at all; the impression it gives is that you're the wise-cracking guy telling non-stop jokes.

I think you need to strip it right back, and try to put across who you actually are, and what your life is really like, rather than using humour as a front.

ReelDancer

Oct 9, 2013

Don't get me wrong, I would definitely consider myself a wise-cracking guy and I have a mental Rolodex of jokes.   I certainly have a goofy side - I'm just not the non-stop goofball I'm apparently coming across as.  After my previous profile incarnations didn't work I figured more humor would be the key to success.  However, I seems to have overdone it.  Ah, well.  I'm due for another rewrite anyway.  Might as well get to work.  At least this time I have a better idea what to work on.  And I was getting so much more response this time around... it kills me to think I've squandered it all... 

squigless

Oct 9, 2013

Then consider finishing off with a much more serious tone in your "you should message me if" section. Check my profile for an example.

ReelDancer

Oct 9, 2013

I've already decided to put that section on the chopping block.  Believe it or not it actually started quite a few conversations.  But it's grown stale over time.  So it's time to go.  

 

squigless

Oct 9, 2013

Cool. Maybe stick some of that content in an earlier section and end on a "But seriously..." vibe. 

squigless

Oct 9, 2013

But seriously, you should do as I tell you.

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