|
If you need help with your profile just let me know
|
|
|---|---|
|
|
|
|
|
Hey I would really appreciate any comments you could make to improve my profile. Thanks in advance. |
|
|
These are some of my first impressions: Photos- You could use more variety; Smile. Take photos of you having a good time with friends or in different places. Rest of the Profile- - Lot of nasty negative impressions on your profile; Get rid of them. Examples from your profile: What I'm doing with my life...is trying to get sucessful because that's the best revenge. You should message me if...your delusional enough to actually wanna talk to me, but don't worry we'll talk and work through it.
- Too long of paragraphs in your favorites. Break them up. Don't list everything just a few. Do you have any favorite foods?
|
|
|
Thanks for the feedback already making changes and thinking how to re-write what you've commented on and I was just generally hoping to make my profile more appealing and make me seem more approach/messagable.
I'm gonna get around to taking some new pictures, but I don't wanna to use my phone to take the pictures like ones in my profile. Hmmm gonna be hard to narrow down my favourite movies, music and etc though. |
|
|
I wanted to see what you thought first before saying anymore.
-You can can use categories to narrow it down movies and music. - Put in "What i am doing with my life" what your goals in life are such as career. - Put in "message me if" something you would have in common with the person messaging you. - Too little information to put yourself as different from someone else. "Hey, I'm Joseph and I am what I am, but not in a Popeye way more like in a way that people find it hard to put me into boxes or catagorizes and I wouldn't have it any other way. However, I'm usually quite down-to-earth and easygoing and like going with flow and just having a good time." change to "Hey I am Joesph. Thanks for looking at my profile. (insert an interest detail about you) I am a down-to-earth and easygoing guy. (insert things that mean a good time to you) "I'm told that I'm creative/artistic, unique with no explaination of how, funny in a different, but good way, sarcastic in a charming/endearing sense and that I'm knowledgable of random trivia and facts." change to "I am told I have creative personality(why do you think people think you are creative or unique? Any special things you did? Say that) I have a sense of humor that sarcastic but in a charming/endearing way. Ask me about what random facts and trivia I know (you can use in your message me box). - Be more firm and confident I'm really good at Propose an edit...I've been told i'm good at artistic things like drawing, painting, graffti artwork, sculpting, writing and etc. Get rid of the "I've been told i'm good at artistic things" change it to things you personally know you are good at doing. Say "I am good at drawing." It shows you are self-confident in yourself using those kinds of sentences. - You are an eclectic (a person who like to dress in many different styles at once) dresser congratulations Take photos of you in your varying styles...maybe one or two...just a sample that is reasonable and acceptable. The first thing(s) people usually notice about me Propose an edit....probably my piercings, my "unique" dress sense, my hair and etc all of which cause a mixture of looks of awe and confusion. Apparently people really notice my eyes meant to be something nice about them and I look older than I actually am which has been a gift and a curse. change to "I am an eclectic dresser. I like to dress in a very free and creative way. People come to me saying that is so cool...how did i do that or get it? " (something along those lines try to make it sound you have a lot of fun doing it or it is a really cool thing to do.)
|
|
|
wow, i could really use that kinda help |
|
|
lol...kineticfairy ok
-Scrap all of your photos from the profile...take all new ones for your profile. fresh start. New front part of profile (feel free to change anything I changed; most was changed to provide better - stronger meaning to the profile until the math part.): Hey, (name). I am a college student studying psychology . I come up with the funniest jokes Warning: I like to be sarcastic. I am make quick friends to all who meet me. I have the type of personality that makes people feel at ease with themselves and the people around them. I like to flirt a lot with people. I am smart. I LOVE the [SCI-FI CHANNEL] . I can be insanely hyper and crazy around friends, and they wouldn't have me any other way. I have never broken a promise and i never will [period]. I work hard, I play hard, and I'm loud at all times. I sing to the top of my lungs though I'm quite horrible at it [but Rock Band and Karaoke Revolution says I'm awesome...haha]. I'm obsessed with math, especially statistics [hypothesis test, YAY!]. If you can't tell by now I have a slight ego but I'm in touch with reality at all times. I love to spend time with people, no matter what's going on which seems to make me an exquisite friend. I have some OCD tendencies and have a thing for keeping things organized, though I wouldn't say I'm a complete neat freak. I care about people, and one day hope to change the world through my work. - most of your profile is great on my first peek. You friends did a good job. Under "Message me"...scrap the list and say something from your personality that attracts people..maybe a joke...something your friend know you and like you for..maybe even have a friend write it.
|
|
|
crawl269
Just wondering what I should do with mine?
|
|
|
would someone take a look at my profile. Not making any contacts. |
|
|
I have to admit my profile looks much much better now thanks again I think I made pretty much all of the changes you recommended and will get around to whatever else I've left out when I can and if theres anything else you can think of to improve my profile more than you already have please let me know I'd really appreciate it. |
|
|
crawl269....wow lots of work - break your profile in short paragraphs of about 3-5 sentences each - introduce yourself to the reader. example: "Hi i am (name). I like such and such" that should an idea of where to start off. Make at least 1 paragraph of it. -Break your favorites in individual paragraphs. Use about 2-3 favorite genres along with about 5 favorite specifics in each favorite category. The point of this is make it easier to read and get the point across of what you like the most. - in your "what am i doing with my life" put your goals in life. how are you achieving those goals? - in your "I am really good at" avoid run-on sentences. Be clear and precise. Example: I am good making people smile. - get rid of the list in your six things. Be more imaginative. Something that makes you different from other guys. -in your "typical friday night," What is an average fun night for the start of your weekend? -private thing...what is a creative thing you did that would grab someones attention? -message me- what kind of person do you want to message you?
Crawl269- I give more advice tomorrow night. But just check this out and alter to the best of your ability. I will do another check then. Just let me know when you are done.
|
|
|
mkimbler68 - -lets cut the first part down first- here this what it should look like - My self-summary Propose an editHi, my name is (first name). I would like to thank you for checking out my profile. I am a computer design engineer. I don't smoke and don't like to be around people who smoke. I have never been married and have no children. I like to go to the movies, and going out to eat at good restaurants. Some of my favorite things to do is collecting coins, Saturdays, and going to the downtown flea market . I walk at least a mile twice a day with my dog Goldie. Halloween is my time to dress up and have some fun. I believe in hard work and being honest. It is my nature to be generous and giving. I think of others before myself as I take great pleasure in making other people happy. I have a great memory and promise to remember your favorite color, flower, and the color of the dress you wore when we first met. I was born and raised in Louisville, Kentucky the home of the Kentucky Derby . My parents still live there. Once a year, my dad and I still go to the track. I came to Florida about 3 years ago to take an engineering position by way of Texas. I have a secret of how to pick a winner and most of the time it works. A lady (choose a word that is respectful to women if lady
doesn't work for you) that is attractive to me is one who speaks
her mind without fear. She is seeking an equal relationship with
me, not a leader or follower in the relationship. She cares about
me as much as I do about her. (add some more standards...funny as
it sounds I had greater success with more not less). -Does that sound better? Then the first one? -What I'm doing with my life...put your accomplishments such as schooling...goals in life..career.. Don't use it as a what are you doing right now on a daily basis...its a misnomer...its a your achievements.. your goals..paragraph. Erase it and start over. -Favorites...add more but at the most 1 paragraph per favorite category. If you don't do something skip it. Movies, Music, and Food...put 2 or 3 major categories you like such as genres or food cultures. Put about 5-7 very select things in each such as actual names of groups, movies, food. It gives the reader an idea of what you like. -six things...get rid of the pants part its not a good impression. Use something like maybe your tools? -Use the private thing in the profile as something people would not expect from you but is good...or something humorous about you. -message me part- You would like to get to know a wonderful guy.
Hope this helps.
|
|
|
Wanna do mine? I like most of it, but I'm lacking a self-summary at the moment and I don't really know what to put for that one. |
|
|
I think I could use some help condencing my about me section. You do good work my man =). |
|
|
sure mayfly_ I like most of it that is the good news; very few changes needed.
- for your self-summary...Start with a paragraph introducing yourself to the reader. The basic template I have been telling people is "Hi my name is (first name). (thank the person for reading your profile) (talk about your career or if your are a student) (What are you here for?) Go to your next paragraph..(Talk about some of the things you like, but try to use unique stuff that sets you apart from other people) Maybe use another paragraph to put more things you like or dislike or if not these use the next paragraph to describe people you want to meet as far as dating or friendship (your standards are good here). This is a very simple 5-10 minute put together self summary. -In the good at part... use skills you are good at; delete what you have. What are you smart at doing? How are you funny? Those kinds of questions come to mind with what you have right now. - Cut the Music part of your favorites down. You have too much for people to read. They will skip most of it. Focus on 2-3 genres you like and maybe 5-7 favorite music groups or composers. You can leave I can't stand screamo and gangster rap in. |
|
|
Thank you theskaboss. I try my best. :) Well if you want me to look at just your self summary...I will do that. - Check my post to mayfly_ I put a basic template you can use there. You don't want to go over 5 paragraphs. People will just skip the rest of your self summary. -Your self-summary describes too much more than is needed. You take something that women will go cool I want to talk to this guy, and then turn it against you. By about the 2nd or 3nd paragraph you do this and kill the one chance you have. You want a little bit romantic...not overly romantic because it leads to things like overly sensitive in a woman's mind. -This is a cleaned up summary you can use for the basic template. i cut it to around 1/10th of original size. My self-summary Propose an editI like to garden, hike , travel , and cooking. (The rest is TMI and will hurt your chances) I am super handy and can fix most things and I am crafty . I enjoy writing poetry. I like to take random photos and bring my camera everywhere. I love Corgis dogs. I dislike Pretension, Humorless people, racists, helado cart operators, rude people. Dishonest people are the worst. (Got another paragraph of like or dislikes or people you want to meet(standards))
|
|
|
Would you be willing to review my profile? Thanks in advance. =) |
|
|
Mickeyw1989
hey, could you have a go at mine? Cheers! |
|
|
Ok Kotodateru -Overall your profile is good. You get the point across who you are and what you are looking for. - One problem is you add too much after making a key point in bold. The most you should have is 1-2 sentences afterwords as each sentence afterward tends to dilute the overall message or is just pointless and usually is skipped by the reader. - Second problem, Each section of your profile should be about a maximum of 5 paragraphs. Most of your paragraphs in the beginning of your profile can be cut to 2 sentences without losing any meaning. Think of the longer the a profile is as time goes on the reader gets less patient reading that profile and starts skipping things. As you can see the major issue is your trying to get a point across, by trying to explain the reason in way too long of answers. Cut it down to short and to the point sentences and you should be good to go. |
|
|
Mickeyw1989...Cheers! -Your six things that you could never do without is problem. Pick a thing but not more than a short sentence why you can't do without it. No paragraphs. -Be self-confident. You seem to be very unsure about yourself. This is unattractive to women and is a good indicationer that you are going to be boring or something along those lines. Key examples: what I am doing with my life and message me sections. The best way to say this is be positive not negative about yourself. -Use your private space to say something funny or cool that most people who know you don't know. -Be more welcoming to your reader. Introduce yourself in a paragraph.Talk about unique things about yourself that separate you from others. Type as you are directly talking to the reader. |
The Holiday Tests contest has lots of great contestants. Take them, rate them, share them and have fun!
Due . Our Chocolate: A Love Story contest is open for entries, so write a test, enter it, and win a prize!
I did this because I was getting good remarks on a lot of the comments I made on people's profiles online. Plus, I spent a lot of time in real life before the internet dating came the thing to do helping my friends find dates. I am doing this out of my own heart towards others, but I am warning you. I can be blunt and to the point. Just post. Other people are free to comment also.