OkCupid.com: Free Online Dating
“The Google ofonline dating”
— The Boston Globe
“The bestfree dating site”
“A favorite hangoutfor internet goers”
— The Village Voice
— Some guy on Yelp
Tear it to shreds... I would not characterize my
experience on OKC as successful. After about a year I've
accumulated a total of 9 "rated you highly" points, but I have not
had anywhere near 9 women want to chat or get to know me better
:( Yes, I'm sending clever and profile-specific
messages to reasonable matches, and a handful of women have
messaged me first, but it rarely progresses beyond one or two
exchanges. So maybe I'm just a lousy conversationalist.
But let's start with my profile.
I acknowledge that my photos are pretty bad. We can't all
be photogenic. I suppose I could enlist the help of a skilled
photographer, but that just seems like I'm trying too hard.
What's wrong with this comment?
Oh, and I'm completely aware that those 9 "rated you highly"
points could have been accidental stray mouse-clicks...
39 / f / Straight London, Ontario, Canada
I'm heading to bed, will have a look tomorrow, but in the
meantime there's some general advice on
profiles here, and on
first messages here, which may be helpful.
Almost all of your answers to the questions do nothing but
explain why you're not going to answer the question (or why the
question is stupid and can't possibly flatter anybody, or why
you're too good for the question, this site, and all of online
dating). Don't do that. Not only are you wasting a
chance to say something interesting about yourself, you're also
insulting everyone who thinks this can be a good medium to get to
know people (i.e., women who like online dating and are good at it,
i.e., your target audience).
It's not that you don't have a point sometimes. It really
is stupid when people fill out the "favorite books,
movies, etc." section with mile-long lists of books, movies, etc.,
and it really is more interesting to talk about why you
like each one. So just do that - pick one or two
favorite books, and say a sentence or two about why you like
them. Sure, you can talk about it more over coffee, but you
have to get to the coffee date first, and that's what your
The questions aren't meant to be taken literally. "The
first things people notice about me" really means "what do you
think people notice about you?" or "what do you want
people to notice about you?" The "six things I could never do
without" means "what are six things that you wouldn't want to do
without, and that give a glimpse of your personality or
In general, if your answer to a question doesn't say anything
unique or interesting about you, then your answer sucks. If
you can't figure out how to answer a question in a way that doesn't
suck, leave it blank.
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