constantjourney

Aug 21, 2009

@Grinthrulife:  When I was in my mid-20s I seriously dated someone 20 years my senior.  I wouldn't do it again, but the point is, it happens, and it doesn't always have to be about chicanery or desperation.

TwoWhiteGirls

Aug 21, 2009

"And young men who love mature women, I'll be happy to be your mentor just as your professor is...that's it! Please don't tell me age is just a number. It most definitely is not. Write to me about your career problems, your academic decisions, your relationship issues and I can be your sounding board. But I won't ever meet you in person. Of course a lot of you probably won't even read this far down and will happily IM me. I am sure there are women out there who would absolutely enjoy you." - Grinthrulife

You have your answer there.  Realize though that it doesn't matter  you'll get hit on if someone is attracted to you regardless of what it says on your profile.  Get the fuck over it.

Grinthrulife

Aug 21, 2009

Ah! Fortunately, by the time you get to my age, flattery is reognized for what it is.

Wizzorox

Aug 21, 2009

They also think they don't have to wine and dine us to get it.

Yeah, silly boys, thinking it would be a mutually pleasurable act that didn't involve one side being treated more like a prostitute than an equal.

What fools they are.

geekadmirer

Aug 21, 2009

We get more cynical as we age. :P

Jeo00

Aug 21, 2009

Haha... this thread is amusing...

As one of only two men in their 20's who's posted here so far, I think I might be able to give some insight.

Yes, part of it is simply the fact that your a woman, they're a guy, and they figure why not?

Part of it is the thought of doing something different.  Most girls in their 20's are still trying to be complete copies of the "ideal" girl, which makes them all the same.  Indivduality doesn't come until a few years later, but most girls in their late 20's will shoot a guy down on the spot for being 1 year younger.

By going for a woman in her 40's, they're attempting to break past the "You're younger than me, go away" and figure they can use their youth to their advantage.  While I'm sure there are exceptions, most guys in their 20's can perform more reliably than a guy in his 40's(yes, I'm making generalizations, I don't want to get a whole bunch of guys in their 40's telling me how they can go for hours, that's not my point).

Anyway, they figure "I can show this lady something she hasn't had in years and make her feel young again.  Since there's such a big age difference, a relationship won't be possible, but I didn't want one anyway.  She get's to sleep with a guy who can get it up without viagra and I get to sleep with a person with a vagina.  Win Win!

I'm not saying the logic is sound, if I thought it was I'd be doing it myself, but it's more or less the thought process that leads someone to do that.

 

Girls do the same thing with older guys, only for them it's money in exchange for letting a 40 year old guy sleep with them.  Guys just like sex more than money(otherwise we wouldn't have prostitutes).  Same concept, different currency.

Grinthrulife

Aug 21, 2009

@Wizzorox: Mutually pleasurable is not the problem here.... I meant that generally speaking, in this culture dating involves taking women out, treating them well before getting their "rewards". I am not saying I subscribe to this view but that is the general perception...of course, exceptions exist.

But I get the sense that you are feeling personally attacked. It's an academic question, not an offensive one.

Grinthrulife

Aug 21, 2009

 

Girls do the same thing with older guys, only for them it's money in exchange for letting a 40 year old guy sleep with them.  Guys just like sex more than money(otherwise we wouldn't have prostitutes).  Same concept, different currency.

ha ha ha Jeo000...love it!

geekadmirer

Aug 21, 2009

I can show this lady something she hasn't had in years and make her feel young again. 

Yea... but that is only an assumption on their part. What makes them think we feel old? :P 

Since there's such a big age difference, a relationship won't be possible, but I didn't want one anyway.

Exactly why we usually avoid young men.

She get's to sleep with a guy who can get it up without viagra

Another assumption on their part. Lots of men our age don't need viagra.

Girls do the same thing with older guys, only for them it's money in exchange for letting a 40 year old guy sleep with them.  Guys just like sex more than money(otherwise we wouldn't have prostitutes).  Same concept, different currency.

Isn't that just pathetic?

Do they really think that because we are older, we are more desperate for sex?

 

Wizzorox

Aug 21, 2009

But I get the sense that you are feeling personally attacked.

Your feelings are wrong.

And yes, it is what most women expect, generally, but it's sexist and basically prostitution. 

RicoTaco started a thread about who would play for the first date, which went to over 4,000 replies and the overwhelming majority of women said that if a guy didn't pay for them, they weren't getting sex, or it wasn't a 'date', so I know all about this attitude, unfortunately.

Grinthrulife

Aug 21, 2009

@geekadmirer- Yeah, agreed- but we have to forgive that perception, because the media does portray men needing viagra desperately the moment one solitary hair turns grey! I like your comments.

@Wizzorox- Well, I am a Feminst - so you are preaching to the choir here! :)

Jeo00

Aug 21, 2009

@geekadmirer

I'm not saying all the assumptions are right... just explaining the thought process.

Yea... but that is only an assumption on their part. What makes them think we feel old? :P 

It's not that you're old, it's that by comparison the guys in their 40's are old and they think they can do better.  And if they can do better than the guys you're with, that means they should try to show you how good it could be.(Again, just explaining the thought process, not my personal belief)

Guys(especially when they're younger) are constantly looking to prove that they can do things better, especially when it comes to competing with other guys, and especially when it comes to sex.

Maybe they just can't handle the competition from guys their own age for girls around their age, so they figure they'll compete with older guys?

Also, yeah, I think girls who date 20 years older for money are just as bad.  But you can't deny that it happens.

Foamfollower

Aug 21, 2009

 Why not? not everyone judges people based on the same criteria. If it were me, I would be a lot more troubled by people not bothering to read my profile than by being hit on by younger people.

 We all have our preferences of course, but it doesn't hurt to remember that having a closed mind about anything can blind you. People will surprise you.

 

 

 

Wizzorox

Aug 21, 2009

@Wizzorox- Well, I am a Feminst - so you are preaching to the choir here! :)

So were many of the women who replied.  In an separate topic, a young woman who described herself as a 'strong, Independent woman and a feminist' refused to see a guy again because he didn't pay for her 2.50 ice cream, which she expected him to do.  Even going so far as to move out of line several times so he could go first and pay for her.

Since he didn't, he didn't get a kiss or another date. Her price as a 'strong feminist' was 2.50.  I believe the term for that is 'prostitute'.

Feminist does not equal someone who believes in actual equality the vast majority of time so don't be shocked if I'm very skeptical at hearing the term. 

Jeo00

Aug 21, 2009

^That's a pretty cheap prostitute...

Wizzorox

Aug 21, 2009

^ I know.  If he got her sprinkles on top he could have scored a beej.  It was a great value, but the poor guy looked at her as an equal and not a whore and so he missed out :(

geekadmirer

Aug 21, 2009

Guys(especially when they're younger) are constantly looking to prove that they can do things better,

Hahahahahahaha!!! Dream on. :P

Tikitavi

Aug 21, 2009

This thread is more entertaining than most :P

However, if your in need of sex, then maybe you should go for one of them.  It could be the best 5 minutes of sex you ever had, but I'm guessing not.

HAHAHAHA

Grinthrulife

Aug 21, 2009

Too bad about the woman who called herself a feminist and trades kisses for a paid meal...she gives us all a bad name....On the other hand I do come from a culture where the older and richer person always does the paying...and much as I think splitting the bill is fine, I will happily pay for someone poorer or younger and poorer than I. But that's not feminism..that's just me.

geekadmirer

Aug 21, 2009

It can't be the best if it only lasted 5 minutes. :P

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