VulgarVulva4STD

Dec 19, 2012

despite living in the county all my life I've rarely spent time in Cambridge. if anything more of my adult life meeting various academics, researchers, in many fields- no matter how the meeting goes, usually just a date and a fuck- even if it was good, I will hate myself vengefully for days, for being such a talentless under achieving shit!

this depression has been riding high, and I've been tring my best not to fall for it, lately.

but that's it! I really fucking hate myself- the few people that I get around to meeting make me hate myself more than if I were I left alone.

 

PricklyOne

Dec 19, 2012

buy a vibrator and get over yourself.

VulgarVulva4STD

Dec 19, 2012

yeah if it was about sex then your comment would be useful

it's immature and insecure I know, but when you're feeling . . . never mind

and I already have a vibrator, and yeah bc that orgasm lasts forever? and takes all the self loathing away, and replaces it with being a worthwhile human being? I don't think so

unassuming_guy

Dec 19, 2012

Getting over yourself must be equally as difficult as getting under yourself.

I don't spend much time in Cambridge either. How is it we haven't bumped into each other in Boston? Wanna meet in the Common, and have a quick fuck so you can hate yourself for weeks, if not years after?

 

p.s. our glorious 0% Match still gets me hot and aroused.

VulgarVulva4STD

Dec 19, 2012

u got 0 with everyone

unassuming_guy

Dec 19, 2012

nope. Just with you. I even get 10% with the No-Profile members.

VulgarVulva4STD

Dec 19, 2012

I'll get over it

but if some shit round here is stupid enough to think that sex or drugs lasts, LMFAO!

those things are momentary mental anaesthesia

laquist

Dec 19, 2012

So ... you're fine with rainy days and Mondays.

unassuming_guy

Dec 19, 2012

hanging around, some kind of lonely clown

unassuming_guy

Dec 19, 2012

PricklyOne

Dec 19, 2012

mental illness / holiday cheer 

unassuming_guy

Dec 19, 2012

unassuming_guy

Dec 19, 2012

13th post for 2013

dgbdc

Dec 19, 2012

i know the feeling.

the few people i draw to myself are all intellectual over-achievers. i guess i should feel good about that, since it probably reflects positively on my own intelligence, but i hate how much of a failure i feel.

though it's unrelated, i wish i could go back and fix things in my life, but some things are such unfixable. 

anywho, yes, i know the feeling.

laquist

Dec 20, 2012

I don't know the steps in order, but please at least set acceptance as a target. You can work out the next step once you're there.

VulgarVulva4STD

Dec 20, 2012

self acceptance is a tricky thing

unassuming_guy

Dec 20, 2012

You might find this helpful 

Towards the end there's a self-hypnotic visualization process worth at least listening to

and the information before that is also interesting,
especially around 38 minutes in.

VulgarVulva4STD

Dec 20, 2012

cheers, just getting into books on CBT, and Mind over mood stuff.

I'll see you around, gonna disable for awhile

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