OkCupid.com: Free Online Dating
“The Google ofonline dating”
— The Boston Globe
“The bestfree dating site”
“A favorite hangoutfor internet goers”
— The Village Voice
— Some guy on Yelp
37 / m / Straight Austin, Texas
I recently had a discussion with a coworker whom also has an
account about how he IMs and it works very well for him. during the
discussion I took note that the exact same women were available for
him to IM while my client showed that IMs were off. We continued
looking and essentially 95% of the profiles that showed IM on for
him showed IM off for me.
Why is that?!
I guessed that maybe women could filter whether the IM balloon
was on according to some criteria, but then saw that I have no
filtering available myself. It is either set to on or off. Then we
guessed that maybe it was a A+ feature, but surely the majority of
women have a free account in a city with a m/f ratio as bad as
So, I still want to know. Why do IMs show ON for him and OFF for
me when looking at the exact same person's profile? They have no
history. I can't figure it out.
What's wrong with this comment?
42 / m / Straight Dittmer, Missouri
You can set filters for IM, it's in the settings section. Or
Personally, I almost never see it on for any woman on this site,
but do see it for most men (who don't apparently set their
filters), like next to your name on the post right now.
Thanks. Looked over the list and I don't see anything that could
possibly be filtering me out that would not filter him out also,
except age. He is 34 and I am 36. I wouldn't be surprised if 35 was
a popular cut off number. I really figured smoking would be what
filtered me out, but it isn't listed as an option.
57 / f / Straight Spring Hill, Florida
FWIW, Mega, I see that your IM chat bubble is on. I leave mine
on ALL THE TIME, with no filters that I know of. Does it show
it's on for you? Could it be the browser you use?
Shows on for you. It has to be some filter. Maybe I'll got and
alter my Q&As to get 100% matches and be as liberal as possible
for a day for testing.
I wouldn't waste my time on that. If they're interested in you,
they will find a way to talk to you. :)
That's a woman's perspective. From a male point of view, when
having to complete with 50000 other men online, one goes about it
as though women don't know what interesting is, until they meet
you. Women on here will toss you aside for wearing a green shirt vs
a white one or because you don't like musical group <insert name
here>. As a male online, you have to use every tool available
just to get the few that you can, then meet them, and then decide
if you can tolerate them. The alternative is being dateless and
going back to the bars for sources of female companionship. At
least in my city.
51 / m / Straight San Francisco, California
There are various reasons that IM may not be available at all or
with certain users here:
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