I feel sorry and I haven't even met either of you before. Apologies for scaring away someone who is probably a very nice person.

It's the shotgun method of meeting people. If you ask out one million people, ONE of them will respond. And, thinking of one million original witty things to say is much harder than a generic, one line note that can be cut-and-pasted. Besides, the shotgun method has better odds of working than hand-crafted, individually targeted emails.

But if you are going to use that method, pick a question that OkCupid doesn't answer on every single profile. Hell, even "What's your favorite color" is a better question...

This "shotgun method" sort of assumes that no one would want to talk to you in the first place. If you called up one million people from the local phone book, and just said "hi how r u ........where u from" you might eventually get something that resembles a conversation, but there's not much of a quality guarantee.

Reserved straight women especially will do better if they prepare themselves for online dating, as dating in general brings out the best in humanity and the worst like netspeak, spammed genital pictures, and form letter proposals of marriage. It should be possible to make some kind of profile that doesn't leave one feeling vulnerable, and then you can still meet people.

Concerning your sister, well, didn't you WARN the poor girl!? Or does she just lack your patience?

KRH-ONE:Actually, I don't think she was entirely creeped out, I think she just got bored. They say simple things amuse simple people. It may be true. I find OkCupid endlessly amusing - but she is *way* smarter than me. She didn't seem to find it nearly as entertaining.

Who would win in a fight between an alligator with a laser or a python with a .357 magnum?

The spectators.

I dunno, nahgems...it seems like a good theory, but then somebody like Diacritic comes along and drops PURE FUCKING GENIUS on this post.

I do agree, though, that whether we be smarter or dumber than average, all of us regular users are VERY easily amused....

I don't understand why people would think the shotgun method would work on this site. Think about everything you've done just to put a profile together. You made the profile, posted photos, answered questions, took the tests, made a few journal entries . . . AND THEN you introduce yourself to a complete stranger with, "Wanna fuck?" Why not save your time and just stick to spamming everyone on craigslist?

Who said these things are people? I assume everyone is a poorly coded AI until proven otherwise.

yogfthagen wrote: Besides, the shotgun method has better odds of working than hand-crafted, individually targeted emails.

Tell me about it, pft. I'd think with all the hand-crafted, individually-targeted emails I've sent out, I'd get at least one person kind enough to write back, even if only to say "Bug off ya geek!" :P

velander wrote: Why not save your time and just stick to spamming everyone on craigslist?

The sad part about that is that most posts on craigslist are spammers themselves. Typically stating that if you really want to speak to them, you have to go register with some other lame dating site, only to find out the profile they mentioned doesn't even exist. Not that spamming the spammers has its benefits, but it's better to do that via postal mail by mailing them pieces of sheet metal back in their own pre-paid envelopes.

Besides, the shotgun method has better odds of working than hand-crafted, individually targeted emails.

If that's your experience, you're doing it wrong. ;)

Sorry, I'll try to be less creepy in the future.

Oh, and crunchy peanut butter is awful. But then again, I hate peanuts, so ymmv.

Folks keep referring to the shotgun method as e-mailing "a million people". That's rather beyond a shotgun's capabilities. It's more like the neutron bomb method.

One down, one to go! Let's keep it up, people!

howdy, I just wanted to add my two cents in here because, The only people i have talked to on OKC that seemed to be going somewhere got cut short. Mainly for the reasons listed above. Not on my part but, by the asshats that seem to troll the NY area ladies on OKC. These wonderful ladies deleted their accounts just when i was seeming to make some ground. I have been single since 2001 mainly by choice. Since I moved to queens about 2 years ago now i signed up for OKC to not only find someone i may enjoy but, may want to date. After about a month of not knowing a female in NY was getting to me to say the least. All of these ladies told me they was very sorry for deleting their accounts but, it was something they felt they had to do and, since i really didn't know them at all. I didn't feel right asking them for any of their personal information. Plus the fact that they were a little gun shy from the asshats i didn't feel like pressing the matter. It is a shame that ladies are pushed away by a number of people that do not have a half a brain between them. I really haven't talked to anyone on OKC in a good long time and, I really don't plan on using it in the near future. Whenever I think about using it, I think directly after "What's the point if all these guys are just making the ladies on here not want any sort of contact from anyone? Even as I type this I second guess whatever it maybe and, think about deleting this and forget the hole thing. My original plan with OKC was to maybe befriend a few girls to hang out with me so my stay in queens would be a bit more entraining. One of the things I have not put on my profile is... When living in my home town a good majority of my friends were all female and, living here without one female friend was a bit odd. Thanks to this kind of general retardation I have yet to find anyone on OKC. I did finally get a few female friends but, not through here .. haha So don't feel too bad for me. It just could of happened a bit quicker considering I'm up to 40 ladies that have messaged me then after about the 3rd or 4th message told me that I was cool but, they couldn't take the BS any longer. all and all just a shame. I hope you enjoyed my two cents on this.. and I wish you luck with this hole bidness of interweb tom-foolery. If i was staying in NY i would say bring your sister out , a few friend , My friends and, I would have at very least a somewhat entertaining time... haha once again good luck and have a great day whenever you have it :D later, Michael

"You seem upset." Mucho points if you know the reference. But anyway, I hate to say it: guys are largely idiots until at least 25. And that's being generous, assuming there was some grain of maturity to begin with. It usually takes life-altering experiences to force them to grow up-some never do. I would apologize for all the creeps, but I don't want the responsibility. Furthermore, many people view cyberspace as free of social consequence, and act as they would if there were no penalty for bad behavior. Just my 2 cents.

pallid67, I've said much the same many times here. The fact that there are very few social consequences for being an asshat online is one reason why people act like asshats so much online. (and why people who are just asshats in general find the online world such a perfect playground)

nahgems: welcome to the frustrating, ephemeral world of the social world-wide-web. One of the few places where people who you thought you had developed some sort of relationship with, regularly disappear into thin air at a moment's notice, and there is almost no way to find them ever again.

My advice to king_linus and others is to obtain real physical details on anyone you feel like you're becoming close to online, before something accidental or intentional occurs that makes them go "poof" without a trace or a forwarding address.

sfguyyy: I'm not sure that I agree with you. If someone wants to disappear and never talk to me again - I generally think it is a good thing. I am occasionally sad to see them go. And I would occasionally like slightly more explanation than I get. But if they don't want to talk to me, why would I want to have their "real physical details" and desparately try to stay in touch with them? That would make me a creepy stalker...

First of all, I think way too many people invoke the "creepy" pejorative these days. Methinks some people think the air they breathe is creepy.

Secondly, if I invest time in a relationship with someone, I expect the courtesy of some degree of respect for the time/energy I invest, and if a person gives the impression that they are socially close to me, I hope I can take that at face value, rather than have to think in the back of my mind that they will just turn around and leave at a moment's notice. If I decided to marry someone, for example, I wouldn't consider it particularly sociable for that person to disappear without notice and without a trace one day, unless I was abusing them somehow and/or making it difficult for them to communicate with me.

Relationships that are strictly online probably only rarely reach the degree of committment/seriousness of "marriage", but it's still annoying to become attached to someone, only to have them disappear without notice and without a trace.

I am not for a minute suggesting that one should "stalk" someone who has no interest in remaining in contact - but there are far better ways of managing one's personal relationships than simply disappearing from sight at the drop of a hat. My suggestion was mostly targeted to situations where the other person might carelessly "leave no forwarding address", and also as a way of ascertaining whether a person is being real and sincere in their interest in us (and thus presumably willing to provide personal details) or just using us as online "avatar-like" playthings that they have no intention of making "real" friends. Personally, I tend to steer FAR away from the latter types, and asking for more personal details is one way to separate the wheat from the chaff, so to speak.

linus, you do realize that Rochester is about 6 hours away from Queens, right?

First of all, I think way too many people invoke the "creepy" pejorative these days.

Nah, sfguyyy, that's just a first-order fallacy. People don't use the word all that often, they just use it all the time in your presence.

If OKCupid would just let me use the banhammer, all these problems would magically dissolve.

Dia, go ahead, call me the "C" word - you're not up to your daily usage quota yet. (although I hear that rubbing up against tree bark often helps)