I am the architect, curator, sheriff, cartographer, dictator for life, president and first tiger, landscaper, aristocracy, and most wanted criminal of my own little world. This is sometimes a full time job.

I like words (asylum! shenanigan! insidious!) and sentences and books. I am devastatingly shy and tend to spend a lot of time alone reading, but people are still The Best Thing.

I have spent more time than is probably healthy watching documentaries on serial killers and strange neurological disorders.

I'm INFP/INTP, if you're into that sort of thing.

I am agnostic but not by choice. I am desperately jealous of those who possess the gene that allows them to believe in things.

I know nothing. Seriously.

I have been told I spend too much time analyzing things and too little time doing things, but I want to change that. The world is huge and rich and weird and I intend to explore all of it. I will drag you along on all my adventures and follow along on yours.

I read, much of the night, and go south in the winter

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Look, a page break!!!

This is a disclaimer!!! I am always happy to meet people and I love getting messages, but my response rate is terrible enough that I feel obligated to warn you that it will or would very likely be pointless for you to message me. My apologies, and you have now been warned.

Right now, it's tied to a chair in my basement

In a fit of compulsivity, I came up with an ordering for the book and word lists. To distract you from how uninteresting this section is, you may try to figure out the order if you choose. There will be fabulous prizes!!!!!!

Favorite books, poets, authors, and short stories:
- One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
- The Life and Times of Michael K by J. M. Coetzee
- Calvin and Hobbes
- Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
- Jorge Luis Borges
- Ray Bradbury
- Philip Levine
- Kurt Vonnegut
- The Babysitter by Robert Coover
- Tinkers by Paul Harding
- Italo Calvino
- This is water
- Alice Munro
- T. S. Eliot

Favorite foods:
pumpkin bread, guacamole, coffee ice cream, tangerines

Favorite number:
233

Favorite words:
discombobulated, hyperbolic, perfunctory, impalpable, stochastic, penumbrae, abysmal, aleatoric, asylum, somatic

I lied about the fabulous prizes...

If you want to! Or if you don’t want to!

If you want to go hiking, or want to teach me to swing dance. (that shit is hard and I'm clumsy.)

HEY!
In an effort to get weirder messages, here are some prompts for you to use iff you want:

- Tell me a secret of some kind. A real one. Don't cheat.
- Tell me a story
- Hand-write your message, photograph it, stick in online, and send me a link to it
- Send me a message that’s completely fictional and/or written in abstractions and hypotheticals
- Come up with a potential in-person adventure to be had