Question: Why do gay men like to dress up like women and hit on straight men on the internet? Somebody please give me a logical answer to this question, because I just can't find the sense behind it. That's like a guy getting a buzzcut, tossing on a tank top and trying to hit on a lesbian. It just doesn't work, so why waste the time? Just saying.

I don't wanna summarize myself. I don't think we're completely honest with ourselves when we do these types of things, and if we were, nobody in their right minds would want us. So get to know me instead and make your own idea about who I am. Feel free to ask about anything you want. I'm an artist. I never hide my skeletons in the closet. I lay them in the front yard for the entire world to see.

Working as a slave to The Man (I'm an electrician). I'm going back to school in August to get a Computer Science degree, so that should improve the quality of my life significantly. I'm also the frontman and lead composer for Alternative Intelligence. I'm spending my idle spare time studying Java, C++, dieting, trying to quit smoking, and dreaming of better things to come.

I can make some kickass breakfast. I can also self-teach myself practically anything. I'm pretty talented with computer problems, auto repair, music composition, critical debates, bass guitar, video games. I honestly think that my best talent is showing the world around me a different perception to their own. I've always been the kind of person who notices things that others don't.

Physically? Probably my hair or my really long eyelashes. I have girl eyes.
Socially? I don't talk much at first. I'm usually busy assessing the people around me, getting a feel for my surroundings. I like to pay attention and get to know people before I put myself out there, but if I find a common interest with somebody, we're usually best friends before the end of the day.

These lists get ridiculous, so I'm going to name off my top five or six of each category, so you get at least a general impression of my interests.

Authors:
Stephen King
George Orwell
Carl Sagan
Hunter S. Thompson
Neil Strauss
JD Salinger

Movies:
Anything with Hannibal Lector
Anything directed by Quentin Tarantino
God Bless America
Constantine
American Beauty
1408
RENT: The Musical (If you haven't seen it, you really should.)

Shows:
The Walking Dead
Weeds
The Cleveland American Family Dad Guy Show
Raising Hope
Anything anime. I can be otaku too.

Music:
This particular subject is VERY broad and VERY long, but if you need my top five:
Marilyn Manson
Nine Inch Nails
Mindless Self Indulgence
Linkin Park
Smashing Pumpkins

Food:
Schlotzsky's
Chipotle
Culver's
Cracker Barrel
Cheesecake Factory

Video Games:
Final Fantasy
Kingdom Hearts
Grand Theft Auto
Call of Duty
Halo
Shin Megami Tensei (If you know what this is, you should just go ahead and message me now.)

Hands
Feet
Eyes
Ears
Nose
Mouth

Gotta have these things...girls like it when you have all of your parts, right?

My past...my future.
What I'm going to eat for dinner.
How long my hair is getting.
Reforming our nation's education system.
Completing my first record album.
Finding a queen to rule Austin with me.

Running across rooftops in search of the truth.
...or at Elysium. Depends on the mood.

This one time, at band camp, I stuck a flute in my...
You know what? Never mind. Just...never mind.
Shut the cameras off! This interview is over.

1. You have any musical talent. (Guitar/bass/keys/drums/vocal)
2. You can teach me Java or C++.
3. You wear more black than anything else.
4. You'll sing with me.
5. You have no kids.
6. You are not over 30.
7. You do not outsize me. (I'm 5'8 and 160 lbs.)

Now, since I'm going to get some snarky messages because of what I've listed here, allow me a moment to say something before I go. In the 15 years since I started dating, I have NEVER hit a woman (unless she asked me to). I have NEVER caught and therefore NEVER transmitted an STD. I have NEVER gotten anybody pregnant. I have NEVER cheated on someone I was exclusive with, and I have NEVER "played" anybody. Considering all of this, I think I must be pretty fucking awesome when it comes to women, and therefore, I believe that I should ask for what I want instead of settling for less. I've done a good job of being a good man and I deserve a good woman, and if you don't like it, tough fucking shit. :P