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32 Portland, OR Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21–40
  • Near me
  • For new friends

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Dropped out of university
Seeing Someone
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm excessively early to movies, precisely on time to parties, and by inclination a late riser. I've been called a curmudgeon, and some say I've been sixty since I was sixteen, but I prefer to label myself a misanthropic smartass.

I enjoy local bars with no televisions. I dislike excessive noise or crowds. I argue for fun. I tell lame jokes with almost maniacal glee, though I prefer being witty, given the option. I've never been in the paid service of the Central Intelligence Agency. I cry at the end of It's a Wonderful Life because I'm getting old and soft.

Some convenient labels of varying accuracy and scientific worth: I'm INTJ, a Scorpio, a Water Dog, Enneagram Type 5, and I prefer Sean Connery as James Bond.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm hoping to move to Portland this winter, which is why I've created this profile. I'd like to have some friends banked before I arrive, a huddled mass yearning for seasonal microbrews.

I'm a bureaucrat by trade, working in a county courthouse. I try to write screenplays, short stories, stand-up comedy sets and sketches. I'd like to make my living with words, but to date they've yielded only a t-shirt, $50, and a kiss.

I like board games and roleplaying. I'm a voracious movie watcher, particularly when old classics are back on the silver screen. I used to hike and camp, but the Sonoran heat has robbed me of that desire, at least temporarily.

I live with one cat. She describes me as slow-witted but comfortable.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Probably the bow tie. I've never watched Dr. Who - an odd gap in my nerdly knowledge I know - but apparently that's the reason my tie is now cool. Perhaps I should move on to making spats cool again.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Conan-Doyle, Chandler and Stout mysteries; British wits like Douglas Adams, P.G. Wodehouse and Terry Pratchett; Eric Ambler and Jon LeCarre spy novels; philosophical fantastics like Murakami and Borges. Specific works include A Confederacy of Dunces, Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell, Apathy (and other small victories), The Master and Margarita, The Club Dumas, and A Canticle for Leibowitz.

Movies: The Coen brothers are my favorite modern filmmakers and I will see anything they produce. Favorites that come up when "top five" lists are being shared include The Third Man, Lawrence of Arabia, Zero Effect, Charade, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Casablanca, and Dr. Strangelove.

Music: My favorite band is Pink Martini. My favorite album is Van Morrison's Moondance. I sing Sinatra and Martin at karaoke. I was one of the Blues Brothers for Halloween.

Someone warned me not to make this section the longest in my profile. They warn it will make me seem boring. I'll leave you in suspense about my television and eating habits. Mystery!
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Like-minded confederates, a sense of purpose, an area of competence, edifying content to consume, comfortable shoes and of course my glasses.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Stories true and false, how to tell them, how to create new ones and how to get my voice into a higher register when recounting a conversation with a squeaky-voiced person.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I suppose we'll see. For the moment, testing the theory that booze and creativity enjoy a symbiotic relationship. I intend to be thorough (not Thoreau).
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I once lost a Harry Potter trivia contest, to a twelve-year old girl dressed in a Ravenclaw costume. She earned it; she knew the name of the font used in the books.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you find me amusing. It's important to me that I make people in my life laugh. With medication I'm told this compulsion could fade.

If you have a high tolerance for arguing about minutiae.

If you're using me to get to my cat.