FACT: the only message I've received so far was from an okc staff
member asking for routine feedback. but we had a 78% match. so I
winked at him. (he did not wink back.)
I hope you're ready for some fun!
I’m really good at
I don't want to post up any pictures of myself yet because I swear
to god I'll drop a pants size (or three, if you can make me cry
about my self-image) within the next few weeks/days/hours before
you see me in real life and realize: "oh my god, she wasn't lying
when she said she wished that OkCupid had a 'Chunky' option for
The first things people usually notice about me
I wish OkCupid had a "Chunky" option for "Body Type."
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I really want to get down and dirty with a guy who has the same
level of audacity as kanye west. except, instead of bragging about
louis vuitton don night, my man will brag about the size of his
e-penis. this includes - but is not limited to - his processor
speed, his dps, how fast he compiles, how much sex he didn't have
in high school and/or college because he was too busy fucking
bitches on the grading curve, and all of the tacos he can eat
within a 20-minute time span.
(and maybe his deadlift.)
(I know the last two aren't really e-penis-ish.)
(but he could probably post pictures on the Internet and win e-fame
(so it kind of counts.)
The six things I could never do without
please don't message me if you don't get it. you'll be wasting time
for the both of us.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I really enjoy looking up people with extremely low match
percentages, extremely low friend percentages, and extremely high
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I need you to be (1) hilarious, (2) intelligent, and (3) stronger,
better, and more powerful than me in every sense of those words and
in everything I do.
as a friend put it: "Smart enough to program drunk, throws up a ton
in steel at the gym and goes home to beat you at Starcraft in
between destroying your pussy. Tall order."
You should message me if
OKAY WAIT HOLD ON.
if you've ever (1) listed the following on your profile or (2)
considered getting serious with a girl who lists the following on
her profile, then we are most likely not compatible, you handsome
- "I love to laugh!"
- "I like to explore the city!"
- "Friday nights are never typical!"
- "I love to travel!"
- "I don't take myself too seriously!"
- "I'm looking for my partner in crime!"
- "DAE le reddit this gem amirite guys?"
- "oh, and I love to laugh!"
also, I'm not skinny. make sure we kew with that.
ALSO, if you've ever used a meme in real life, I probably hate you.
I knew it wouldn't work out when he told me how much he loved rage
comics and advice animals. I admire creativity over regurgitation.