Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I thought I’d ask one of my female friends for a bit of help with
this bit. When I asked how she would describe me, she chose the
words “a bit of a gimp”.
Not the ‘brilliant female insight that would start me on a path
that would inexorably lead to the discovery of the perfect woman
for me on a dating website’ that I was hoping for….
The more worrying bit is that I didn’t make any effort to disagree
with what she was saying....this probably isn’t the best way to
start what is basically an advert for me, is it? Ah well...
Probably best to promise low and deliver high. Imagine the pressure
I’d be under if she’d described me as ‘the most amazing man alive
in the UK'...
I’d probably have made no effort to disagree with that
I await the deluge of emails from women who are seeking an
Shall I start again?
My good/bad/indifferent/objectionable/stupid/moot (delete as
- I have what can charitably be called an interest (other, more
accurate words are available: obsession, pre-occupation,
dependence) with the following things: music, food, guitars,
comedy, psychology & behaviour, peace and quiet, sarcasm (I
like to think of it as post-modern irony, and certainly not the
lowest form of wit. More like the highest form of insulting and
complimenting someone at the same time); using brackets when
writing things about myself.
- I’ve moved around quite a lot. Have lived in several different
countries as well as done my fair share of travelling. And yes,
after all that, I did voluntarily choose to settle in
- I can’t bring myself to ever use text talk. Even in texts. I am
unnaturally keen on proper grammar, correct spelling and all round
good use of punctuation when writing. I make up for this by
speaking really lazily, inarticulately and incoherently in
- I am physically able to smile, I promise. There is just very
little photographic evidence of this.
- I probably have the electronic equivalent of verbal diarrhoea.
(Yes, I know. I did actually just use the word ‘diarrhoea’ in the
opening section of profile.)
In what I like to think of as an ‘admirable level of bravery’, but
is more likely an ‘irritating level of stupidity and
self-indulgence’, I’m going to end this section on that
note………also, this gimp suit is really uncomfortable. I probably
shouldn’t have worn it whilst I was writing this section.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I do some stuff that involves helping kids with Special Educational
Needs get a good education. That is my proper job.
I do other things. I - seriously - have a second job as an
investigator. I only do that for a few hours here and there,
I also have a sideline in making electric guitars. I spend lots of
time doing this, because it is so enjoyable and satisfying.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I'll complete this section later.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
From a distance: my hunchback.
Close up: my chronic halitosis.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
My favourite book ever is Sean and Davids Long Drive. By an
Australian fella. Called Sean. I once exchanged some emails with
Other books that have stuck in my head: Pygmy, The Wind Up Bird
Chronicles and Freakonomics. Mind you, the last one is probably cos
I just finished it....
Comedy (audio or visual): Adam and Joe, Flight of the Conchords,
Adventure Time, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Stewart Lee, Alex Horne,
David Thorne (I like my comedians to rhyme), Charlie Brooker.
Music: too much to bore anyone with listing here. But let's just
say I have a lot of CDs, a lot of vinyl, and somewhat too many
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Is it too predictable to list 6 of my vital organs?
(Note to self: yes. Yes, It is. To be honest, self, I think you
should actually remove that, and not leave it here in the middle of
In no particular order:
my iPhone and iPod, though I have moral concerns about Apple that I
manage to put aside;
my friends, and my niece and nephew (does this count as more than
quiet time to myself;
natural light (I like to photosynthesise)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I live in a bungalow. In a street full of (nice) little old
people........but own a flat that I don't live in.
Hmmmm. Maybe this should be in the 'most imbecilic thing I'm
willing to admit' section.
What do you mean there isn't one? I NEED one. And it needs to allow
a lot more than one thing to be input....
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you have tolerated my profile this far.
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