Find better matches with our advanced matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy

-hi-

29 M San Francisco, CA

My Details

Last Online
Nov 21, 2013
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 7″ (1.70m)
Body Type
Athletic
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism, and laughing about it
Sign
Libra, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from masters program
Job
Technology
Income
Relationship Status
Seeing Someone
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), German (Poorly), C++ (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Hi, I'm Joe: descendant of ape-like creatures in the distant past, potential ancestor of human-like creatures in the distant future, hurtling unceasingly and unflinchingly around the sun at a completely incomprehensible 66,610 miles per hour. What's that? So are you? We have so much in common already!
What I’m doing with my life
Ideally, I'd like to die* after having completed (or helped complete) one or more of the following goals (in no particular order):
1. Propose a Grand Unified Theory of physics.
2. Write a computer program that generates human-like thought.
3. Develop the next Facebook/Google.
4. Travel the world as part of an awesome rock band.
5. Work as an unpaid intern for the Colbert Report.
6. Invent a revolutionary new way to produce or store energy.

Unachievable, you say. Laughable. Preposterous. I completely agree: These are ridiculous goals.

If you would like to help me achieve any of these unachievable goals (perhaps you are a physicist, psychologist, computer scientist, musician, humorist, or electrical engineer), you get 15,000 bonus points.

I also enjoy doing other things in my free time, including going to concerts, drinking Guinness, playing guitar, playing Rock Band, skiing, playing soccer, and (apparently) writing short descriptive paragraphs about myself.

* Ideally, I'd like to not die.
I’m really good at
Learning.
Mario Kart.
Metabolizing.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Catch 22, books by Kurt Vonnegut, the Lord of the Rings, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest............currently reading Predictably Irrational. You should read it too! It's really good. But if you don't, I'll understand.

Movies: The Big Lebowski, Fight Club, the old Star Warses, Clerks, Office Space (fuckin' A, man), V for Vendetta, WALL*E, Inception, Adaptation, and many others... I also enjoy weird/artsy movies like The Royal Tennenbaums (to all you fancy-pants elitists who think that example's not weird or artsy enough............ I applaud your refined tastes).

TV: The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, 30 Rock, The West Wing, Futurama, South Park, M*A*S*H, Sherlock ...

Music: Top scientists agree that The 5 Best Bands in the World are The Beatles, Rage Against the Machine, Bob Dylan, Cake, and Radiohead *(if we include classical artists, we must of course replace Cake with Beethoven). Other wonderful artists include The Strokes, Flogging Molly, Weezer (mostly the old stuff), and The National. There are about a million other good bands, and I enjoy pretty much everything except country (with the exception of badasses like Johnny Cash). I am always looking for good new music, so let me know if you are aware of any secret excellence.

Food: is delicious. I love it all, except for chicken feet. The shape and texture and bone structure of a cooked chicken foot are just all wrong! It's like eating a small child's hand.

I cannot emphasize this strongly enough: Never eat chicken feet.
The six things I could never do without
1. Love (is all you need! But, I suppose we must go on...).
2. Good (funny/deep/contemplative/drunk/dirty/smart/silly/stupid) conversation.
3. Variety.
4. ??????? (It's a secret. SHHHH.)
5. A sense of humor.
6. Maslow's physiological needs (breathing, drinking, eating, excretion, sex). (Is this cheating, putting all of these on one number? Yes. I cheat on okcupid profile questions. I would also cheat on my wishes if I had a magic lamp. "Must figure out a way to wish for more wishes..." I would also like someday to cheat death. But those are the only types of acceptable cheating.)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Life, the Universe, and Everything... (...don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I've figured any of it out.) Isn't it so very strange that no one really spends any time contemplating existence? Here we are, in this wondrously comfortable modern world, with ravenous-wolf-related deaths at an all-time low, and we live in total luxury, and yet all we can do is worry, and complain, and get distracted by things like stupid Apple gadgets, silly webcomics, and petty politics.

I also spend a lot of time thinking about stupid Apple gadgets, silly webcomics, and petty politics.
On a typical Friday night I am
Sometimes out, sometimes in,
Sometimes fat, sometimes thin.

(I lied just now, about my weight;
It really doesn't fluctuate.)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Embarrassing Fact #43: As an Attractive Alpha Male, I really should have pure confidence spewing perpetually out of every orifice, but I'm actually somewhat shy until I get to know someone.

Embarrassing Fact #326: I should have put Singin' in the Rain in my list of favorite movies.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 21–31
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends
You should message me if
If you're smart, funny, beautiful, and excruciatingly rich.

Or: If you have fingernails that shine like Justice, and a voice that is dark like tinted glass.

Or: If you think Calvin & Hobbes is just about the best thing ever.

...

Thank you for reading my profile. Have a great day.