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-what-is-this-

37 Phoenix, AZ Man

Man

I’m looking for

  • Everybody
  • Ages 25–45
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends

My Details

Last Online
Nov 18
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body Type
Thin
Diet
Strictly vegan
Smokes
No
Drinks
Not at all
Drugs
Never
Religion
Other, and laughing about it
Sign
Aquarius, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Other
Income
Relationship Status
Seeing Someone
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Pets
Speaks
English, French (Okay), Italian (Poorly), Spanish (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
(Disclaimer: I'm going to use some prompts/answers from my profile on a spiritual dating site, and my answers are looooong :) If you consider yourself deep, self-aware, are interested in spiritual truth and authentic relating, and have a good sense of humor, please read on. Oh and don't be scared, I don't talk nearly this much in real life :) As to my location, I recently moved to Phoenix, cause my dad has age-onset dementia and needs me here. Eventually, though, I see myself settling in a place like Boulder, CO, Asheville, NC, or possibly on the moon, we'll see how things go.)

DESCRIBE YOUR INTERESTS, PERSONALITY, ETC:

African dance and drumming has always been my deep love and passion. I devoted many years (of studying, performing, and teaching) to it until I became incapacitated by chronic fatigue several years ago and was unable to continue. During this period of health difficulty, identifications fell away and there was a seeing of my true nature. Lots of personal growth occurred as well around things like communication, boundaries, authenticity, emotional awareness, emotional release, and shadow integration. I'm very grateful to be seeing improvement in my health of late and look forward to being able to enjoy dance and drumming again one day.

Right now, though, there is a second awakening happening, and this feels very alive to share. The first one was an awakening out of identification with form, but there remained a sense of separation in that I was this "spacious awareness" and then there was "everything else." That is, it still felt like awareness was located "in here" and that the world was separate and "out there." Now, it is seen that this was a presumption, an illusion. It is seen that awareness, in fact, has no location, no center. There is no one who is aware. There is only awareness. There is no knower, and there are no things known. There is only knowing. When there is this clear seeing, I find myself everywhere.

[When I initially wrote the above paragraph in late 2012, I thought that I was, perhaps, largely free of suffering. Recent crises in my life have made it abundantly clear that this is *not* the case :) Just mentioning this to keep it real :)]

Interests include: deep breathing, nature, long slow walks in the quiet before dawn, bioenergetics/somatic psychotherapy, boxing (as a means of energetic/emotional release), tantra, law of attraction (esp. Bashar teachings), self-hypnosis/visualization, gratitude, kundalini practices, lifting weights, music, holistic medicine, French, Italian, Spanish, behavioral finance/investing, Austrian economics, aesthetics

Though I do sometimes succumb to it, I am, generally speaking, not interested in spiritual pretense, spiritual correctness, spiritual bypassing, etc. I'm interested in seeing what actually is, whatever that may be. This is a big part of what liberation means to me-- the freedom to meet whatever arises (rather than having to repress it in order to remain comfortable or to defend some idealized self-image).

My demeanor is fairly reserved--as in, I am not the life of the party. In fact, I'm probably not even at the party :) I do, however, really enjoy connecting with others in smaller, more personal settings. And I love to laugh! :)

Because I recognize that there's not actually anyone "behind the controls," I'm usually very understanding and accepting of people however they are, and I don't take things personally.

Some other tidbits: I tend to do things all-or-nothing. I'm caring, supportive, and affectionate. I'm empathic and present, which I think makes me a good listener. I would rather play things by ear than plan. I love to learn/grow. My closest friend says he admires my humility and sincerity.

Ultimately, though, self-definitions, while perhaps helpful on a practical level, feel constraining to me. In the end, I recognize all polarities as aspects of myself. I'm open-minded and fixed, open-hearted and guarded, accepting and judgemental, compassionate and calloused, self-confident and self-conscious, and so on. All and none of these things I am.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Right now is sort of a rebirth for me. Until very recently, I'd been essentially bed-ridden for the greater part of 7 years. Pre-illness, in addition to teaching African dance and drumming, I was enrolled in an MA Program for Holistic Psychology, with the intention of becoming a psychotherapist. I loved this program and may return; however, having been on this journey of physical healing, I also feel some inspiration to study and practice holistic medicine.

My immediate focus, aside from helping my dad forestall/reverse his dementia, continues to be on bringing my own body back to full health. Specifically, I aspire to be able to dance, drum, and strength-train again. I'm a physical, kinesthetic, sensual creature by nature and deeply desire to have these as part of my life again.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
DESCRIBE THE TYPE OF PERSON YOU'D LIKE TO MEET:

I'd like to connect with people who are awake. Who see that they are not their ideas about or images of themselves. Who see that contentment cannot be found in time, cannot be found in gaining or "becoming" (even becoming more "spiritual"), but only in recognizing oneself as that which is everpresent, that which knows neither gain nor loss, that which is before any ideas of spiritual or unspiritual. [Since initially writing this last sentence, I've come to question its absoluteness, feeling that there is, in fact, a certain type of contentment/happiness that is lovely and wonderful that *can* be found in so-called time.]

Shared laughter and humorous banter is one of my favorite things in life, so I'd love to meet people with a similar sense of humor. To give an idea of what that is, comedians that make me laugh include: Louis CK (my favorite by far!!), Bill Burr, Sacha Baron Cohen (on his British tv show), Ricky Gervais, Adam Carolla (during his Loveline days), Samantha Bee (her investigative interviews on The Daily Show are brilliant!...haha), and David Letterman. I haven't necessarily seen their movies, but Jim Carrey and Will Ferrell crack me up when they do interviews/awards shows.

I'd like to meet people who enjoy sharing silence. Also, who enjoy the aliveness and intimacy of authentic, present-moment relating.

People with a lot of psychoemotional awareness and expressivity.

People who can teach me. Who balance and bring out new aspects and expressions of me. I like how Anaias Nin put it: "Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."

Ultimately, though, these are all just my limited ideas about who I'd enjoy meeting, and I don't actually know anything. In other words, I'm open to surprises.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
DESCRIBE THE IDEAL RELATIONSHIP:

One in which there is lots of laughter and playfulness.

One in which there is giving that doesn't pause to count the cost (in the mind), but rather spontaneously overflows from the heart.

One in which what I want for my partner is what she wants for herself and vice-versa. Where I can support my partner in always standing in her truth, in always doing what makes her most happy (even if it means saying "no" to me) and vice-versa.

One in which openness and realness are highly valued. Where we feel free to share our whole selves with one another, not just the "acceptable" parts. Where it feels safe to share when we get triggered--to share when we occasionally get caught up in our own pain, fear, insecurity, shame, embarrassment, judgement, anger, or resentment, and cannot be present. Safe to become undefended emotionally and psychologically (including expressing all the warm feelings and appreciation we feel for one another, which can feel vulnerable and scary in its own right).

From such transparency, deep trust develops between us. Healing/wholeness occurs. We enjoy greater self-awareness (i.e. seeing clearly the specific ways in which we get hooked back into believing that we're limited, separate selves), because so much more unconscious material reveals itself to us when we know that we do not need to hide it from others once it is seen. We feel more alive, and at the same time, relieved and relaxed, because we can just be ourselves. We enjoy a deep warmth and intimacy with one another and a very clear/potent energetic connection, because there is nothing in our relational field that is sitting there unacknowledged and creating static.

Also, when these so-called unacceptable thoughts/feelings are acknowledged and shared, my experience is that the sense of being a separate self--which seems to be caused, in no small part, by the energetic contraction of trying to resist such thoughts/feelings--diminishes, and there is a relaxation into simple beingness, into oneness, into love. In this way, the relationship becomes a wonderful vehicle for spiritual awakening and deep communion.

(Mind you, I'm no pro at this authenticity and transparency stuff. Transparency still feels quite edgy and scary to me sometimes. I still withhold my truth sometimes, and other times I'm not even aware enough of what's going on for me to share it. It's a way of relating that I'm definitely interested in exploring more though.

Also, I notice some concern coming up for me as I write this that, because I'm going into great detail about all this psychoemotional/spiritual stuff, you may imagine that I want a relationship that is heavy and serious. No, not at all. It's just that if all this stuff I'm going on about resonates with you, I think we'll be more likely to have good chemistry and more enjoyment and fun together :)

My ideal relationship also has rich silence, lots of affection/ cuddling/sensuality, great sex, deep caring, a sense of mutual support, sufficient alone time, and a true liking of one another to where we would love to hang out even if romance/sex wasn't part of the equation.

There's a strong resonance between us--a natural harmonization that feels like coming home.

When we look into each other's eyes, there's a recognition that "what's looking out from those eyes is the same thing that's looking out from these." [Since writing this previous statement, I've come to see/experience that there actually isn't even a "those" and "these" to speak of, that there is no split whatsoever in experience, but will leave it as is, cause I think it's a sort of stepping-stone and a very beautiful recognition in its own right.]

My embodiment of the masculine allows her to fully deepen into and express her feminine. Her embodiment of the feminine encourages me to fully step into my masculine. We enjoy and appreciate this polarity, particularly sexually, where my natural male directedness and inclination to lead allows her to let go and deepen into her natural radiant receptivitly. As these opposite forces feed off each other, a charge gradually builds, all the cells of our bodies come alive, our hearts open, and we are pulled into ever-deeper surrender until we find our seeming separate selves consumed by the fire of an ecstatic love that the mind cannot begin to conceive of and that the body can barely contain--the love that we are and have always been.

All that said, I don't hold any of these ideals tightly. Desires and ideals change with new experience. Following the truth of the moment is the most important thing for me.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Music: West African percussion, neo-soul and conscious R&B (e.g. Music Soulchild, India Arie), no-beat ambient, West African pop (e.g. Oumou Sangare, Salif Keita), bhajans, country

Favorite books:

The Transparency of Things / Presence by Rupert Spira

The End of Your World / Emptiness Dancing by Adyashanti.

Getting Real / Truth in Dating by Susan Campbell.'

Don't Be Nice Be Real by Kelly Bryson

Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg

The Wisdom of the Enneagram by Riso & Hudson

Tantra, Spirituality & Sex by Osho

The Heart of Tantric Sex by Diana Richardson

The Way of the Superior Man / Enlightened Sex by David Deida

Working with the Dreaming Body (and others) by Arnold Mindell

Eastern Body Western Mind by Anodea Judith

Bioenergetics (and others) by Alexander Lowen

Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Joe Dispenza

Ask and It Is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks

The Neville Reader by Neville Goddard

The Hidden Messages in Water by Masaru Emoto
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
how to get what I want. And right now, that's health...for me...and my dad too.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
at home or taking a slow walk in the park. I'm wild like that...don't try to reign me in.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I don't always wish the best for people that I supposedly love. With a friend, it might be because I feel competitive. With a lover, it might be because I want her to be with me more than I want her to be the happiest she can be (even if that were to mean being with someone else).
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you read my profile and went "ahh" instead of "huh?" :)

(keywords: Eckhart Tolle Byron Katie Mooji Ramana Maharshi Nisargadatta Maharaj A.H. Almaas Diamond Approach nondual non-dual nonduality non-duality advaita kashmir shivaism Vipassana meditation lyme disease CFS syndrome fibromyalgia radical honesty somatic)