DESCRIBE YOUR INTERESTS, PERSONALITY, ETC:
African dance and drumming has always been my deep love and passion. I devoted many years (of studying, performing, and teaching) to it until I became incapacitated by chronic fatigue several years ago and was unable to continue. During this period of health difficulty, identifications fell away and there was a seeing of my true nature. Lots of personal growth occurred as well around things like communication, boundaries, authenticity, emotional awareness, emotional release, and shadow integration. I'm very grateful to be seeing improvement in my health of late and look forward to being able to enjoy dance and drumming again one day.
Right now, though, there is a second awakening happening, and this feels very alive to share. The first one was an awakening out of identification with form, but there remained a sense of separation in that I was this "spacious awareness" and then there was "everything else." That is, it still felt like awareness was located "in here" and that the world was separate and "out there." Now, it is seen that this was a presumption, an illusion. It is seen that awareness, in fact, has no location, no center. There is no one who is aware. There is only awareness. There is no knower, and there are no things known. There is only knowing. When there is this clear seeing, I find myself everywhere.
[When I initially wrote the above paragraph in late 2012, I thought that I was, perhaps, largely free of suffering. Recent crises in my life have made it abundantly clear that this is *not* the case :) Just mentioning this to keep it real :)]
Interests include: deep breathing, nature, long slow walks in the quiet before dawn, bioenergetics/somatic psychotherapy, boxing (as a means of energetic/emotional release), tantra, law of attraction (esp. Bashar teachings), self-hypnosis/visualization, gratitude, kundalini practices, lifting weights, music, holistic medicine, French, Italian, Spanish, behavioral finance/investing, Austrian economics, aesthetics
Though I do sometimes succumb to it, I am, generally speaking, not interested in spiritual pretense, spiritual correctness, spiritual bypassing, etc. I'm interested in seeing what actually is, whatever that may be. This is a big part of what liberation means to me-- the freedom to meet whatever arises (rather than having to repress it in order to remain comfortable or to defend some idealized self-image).
My demeanor is fairly reserved--as in, I am not the life of the party. In fact, I'm probably not even at the party :) I do, however, really enjoy connecting with others in smaller, more personal settings. And I love to laugh! :)
Because I recognize that there's not actually anyone "behind the controls," I'm usually very understanding and accepting of people however they are, and I don't take things personally.
Some other tidbits: I tend to do things all-or-nothing. I'm caring, supportive, and affectionate. I'm empathic and present, which I think makes me a good listener. I would rather play things by ear than plan. I love to learn/grow. My closest friend says he admires my humility and sincerity.
Ultimately, though, self-definitions, while perhaps helpful on a practical level, feel constraining to me. In the end, I recognize all polarities as aspects of myself. I'm open-minded and fixed, open-hearted and guarded, accepting and judgemental, compassionate and calloused, self-confident and self-conscious, and so on. All and none of these things I am.