Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm actually in the wake of an (amicable) breakup as I sit here
tonight inspired to completely revamp this profile. And, while I do
of course feel sadness and even a bit of anxiety around the
parting, I'm also feeling deeply grateful for and inspired by the
way in which the relationship served as the perfect mirror for me
to see (and begin integrating) a major part of myself that I must
have disowned/repressed during childhood (in order to get
love/connection from the adults, of course).
[Read the following in comedian Bill Burr's hilarious
"weepy/perturbed woman voice" if you know who/what that is :) ] "I
DON'T UNDERSTAND! WHY IS HE SHARING THIS?! IS HE ABOUT TO TELL US
SOME PRIEST DIDDLED HIM UNDER THE TABLE DURING THE ALL SAINTS'
PANCAKE BREAKFAST OR SOMETHING?!!"
No, I like to save that for a first date...maybe while playing
miniature golf...or waiting in the go-cart line...either way
Actually, I'm sharing it cause the process of integrating this
previously disowned aspect of myself is what's alive for me and
what I'm feeling excited about these days. (Yes, I geek out on this
stuff :) In fact, I'm "bringing in" this part of me right now as I
re-answer these questions and am loving it :)
I'm also sharing it cause it's a good window into my personality
and how I see relationships. I really appreciate deep, authentic
connection, and I love to grow. And I see romantic relationships as
amazing containers/vehicles for these things.
Truth be told, though, what lights me up more than anything is
African dance and drumming. I devoted many years (of studying,
teaching, and performing) to these artforms until I became
debilitated by Chronic Fatigue Syndrome about ten years ago.
I must say that this illness, as grueling as it's been, has brought
with it invaluable gifts, particularly in terms of spiritual
awakening. AND I'm ready to move on. Fortunately, I'm finally
getting some proper testing and medical expertise on board and am
starting to improve. I feel more hopeful than I have in a long time
that I will be able to enjoy dance and drumming again one day, as
well as be able to return to graduate school to study
Holistic/Somatic Counseling Psychology as I once was.
As for a list of self-descriptors, I prefer to let my profile speak
for itself. My closest friend, though, has said that he admires my
humility and sincerity.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I balance my time as best I can between working on restoring my own
health and helping my 80 yr. old dad who suffers from advanced
dementia. Between the two, my plate is quite full.
My dad is actually the reason I moved back to Phoenix a couple
years ago. Ultimately, I see myself settling in a place like
Boulder, Portland, Asheville, or Latin America...or maybe my
spaceship will finally return.
[Update 4/11/15: I'm now also getting back into "consciously
creating my reality." I had profound, almost miraculous, health
results with this back in 2012, but then a different sort of
spiritual awakening that wanted my full attention began to unfold,
so it's only now that I'm finally getting back to using these
powerful tools. I'm excited about it and am feeling more empowered
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Yelling in my car like a fucking madman. (Not like road rage. More
like a scheduled session to release energy. Daily Planner: “2pm –
yell in car like fucking madman” haha. It's actually a type of
somatic psychotherapy (a bit more involved than what I've described
here) called Bioenergetics, and it's amazing!!!!)
Sobbing (...sometimes hard to get the tears to come up, but when
they do, I'm good at surrendering my voice, limbs, etc., and
letting the energy take me on a wild, deeply healing ride.)
Breathing deeply (...and making loud ''Ahhhhhhhhhhhh'' sounds on
the exhales. A tantric practice. So relaxing!!)
Generating a strong masculine/feminine polarity between me and my
partner when making love. And being super present to every touch,
sound, etc.--including fully feeling into the woman's feminine
energy as she opens more and more (best thing ever, by the
Adjusting my perception so that the sense of subject/object duality
dissolves. (Good at it, but don't usually do it unless I'm
suffering intensely in some way, taking a walk in the park, or
making love. In other words, I still live most of my life in
seeming separation, which perhaps you've heard, can be a bitch
Spending seven hours writing a paragraph-long email.
And then spending a day and a half researching the best vacuum
cleaner to buy.
Listening...making someone feel seen. Holding space...not needing
anyone to feel differently than they are.
Taking responsibility for my feelings/needs.
Recognizing that I carry every possible human
trait/inclination—good, bad, and ugly—within me.
Not going places.
Laying in bed with my (hypothetical) girlfriend's head on my chest
while simultaneously honing my skills at ^^above^^ ...oh, and
Deeply appreciating someone for being honest and real with me, even
if it's painful.
Knowing which comedians are funny and which are not :) (Answer:
Louis CK, Bill Burr, Brian Regan, Sacha Baron Cohen, Sarah
Silverman, Aziz Ansare, David Spade, David Letterman, Larry David,
Adam Carolla (Loveline), and Samantha Bee (Daily Show) are some
gems. Shared sense of humor is HUGE for me!!! If you like some of
these same people, we're off to a good start :)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
The Transparency of Things / Presence by Rupert Spira
The End of Your World / Emptiness Dancing by Adyashanti.
Getting Real / Truth in Dating by Susan Campbell.'
Don't Be Nice Be Real by Kelly Bryson
The Wisdom of the Enneagram by Riso & Hudson
Tantra, Spirituality & Sex by Osho
The Heart of Tantric Sex by Diana Richardson
The Way of the Superior Man / Enlightened Sex by David Deida
The Shaman's Way (among many others) by Arnold Mindell
Eastern Body Western Mind by Anodea Judith
Bioenergetics (among many others) by Alexander Lowen
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Joe Dispenza
Ask and It Is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks
The Neville Reader by Neville Goddard
The Hidden Messages in Water by Masaru Emoto
MUSIC: West African percussion, neo-soul (Music Soulchild), R&B
(India Arie), no-beat ambient, West African pop (Oumou Sangare,
Salif Keita), bhajans (Krishna Das), country
MOVIES: I haven't seen many movies in my lifetime (Back to the
Future may've been the last one...haha...ok, I'm exaggerating, but
not by much), but I tend to enjoy them when I do. When they end,
though, I often feel a bit empty/anxious, which can be somewhat
disconcerting. I usually try to fill the void by stuffing another
Rice Dream Mocha Frozen Pie down my face. So far so good!!
FOOD: Ughh. Very sore topic for me. The “Mocha Frozen Pie” thing
above was a joke..well, the specificity of it anyway. I actually
haven't been able to eat anything sweet for like seven years due to
an (intestinal) candida issue. (Sexy, I know.) I don't care about
processed sweets, but I SO DEEPLY miss eating fruit. If I could eat
that again, I would likely go vegan or even raw vegan, a diet that
I've really enjoyed and felt good on in the past. As it stands, I
eat a clean, grain-free, dairy-free, omnivorous diet.
TV SHOWS: The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I can do without almost anything, but some of the best things in
African Dance and Drumming
Dry, Witty, Playful Banter
Laughing Till I Cry
Learning; Noticing and Growing My Edges
Honesty, Transparency, Vulnerability, Deep Connection
Slow, Sensual, Devotional Blowjobs
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
all the ways in which I'm so much better than other people.
all the ways in which other people are so much better than me (can
be same or different people from above :)
how to reply when someone sends me a humorous text: “Should I text
back an 'lol' or just a smiley face? I don't know if an 'lol' feels
authentic . Did I really laugh out loud? I don't think so. Or maybe
I did. I can't remember...*sigh*”
what Enneagram type someone might be.
what it means for there to be "individual" souls in a nondual
how this waking state is not fundamentally different than a dream
(...not meaning that it's an illusion, but rather that its only
reality, as with a dream, is Awareness. And therefore it is not any
more [or less] real than a dream.).
and finally, I have an ongoing fantasy about how liberating (and
intimate) it would feel to be in a relationship where there was
"radical transparency." (I know, it could also be a real
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My heart broke in a thousand pieces when my dad started asking me
"Who are you?" a few weeks ago. Life can be so raw/painful. And so
beautiful at the same time. His suffering, his fear, his confusion
and childlike vulnerability, is precisely what calls forth from me
the desire to love on him with all that I've got. When he feels
this effusive love and caring, his love becomes effusive as well,
and these moments are sweet and beautiful beyond words, as if my
heart may burst with love. (Search "Gods Gift" on Youtube if you
want a taste of this sweetness.)
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you love Louis CK .
I had you at "integrating this previously disowned aspect of
myself" and now you want to jump my bones.
you are repulsed by me physically and have no romantic interest,
but might want to try doing the "Ah Breath"
(deep-breathing/releasing practice mentioned earlier) with me
sometime over the phone. (I do it everyday for 15 minutes. On a few
occasions, I've done it by phone with a female friend, and it was
ten times better, even ecstatic once, but she's super busy, so I
need a longer "text list." Anyway, it's amazing for relaxing,
releasing, and opening up the energy in your body).
you have no romantic interest, but think we would get on amazingly
well as friends.
**As I mentioned earlier, I'm only recently out of a relationship,
so it will probably be at least a month or two (from 2/1/15) before
I feel complete with that process and available to get to know
someone new. I actually don't have the time right now anyway, which
means that even for those contacting me about potential friendship,
I will probably have to bookmark the connection for awhile.
Basically, the only thing I'm available for *right now* is
"breathing sessions" (cause I do those anyway).
(keywords: sacred plant medicine ayahuasca shamanism Eckhart Tolle
Byron Katie Mooji Ramana Maharshi Nisargadatta Maharaj A.H. Almaas
Diamond Approach Andrew Cohen Ken Wilber Osho Krishnamurti Jayson
Gaddis Brene Brown Undefended Love Attached Bashar nondual non-dual
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healing depth transpersonal hakomi experiencing massage
psychotherapist MFT authenticity vulnerability radical honesty
organic gardening nature Louie improv standup comedy sense of humor
lyme disease fibromyalgia lupus mold MS chronically)
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