My fingers didn't actually fall off. It's this literary technique I learned called "Being Cheeky" from a couple of woodland creatures in exchange for some tasty acorns. Yeah, I ripped them off. Acorns taste terrible.
If I don't go to graduate school then I have to enlist in the military back in Taiwan. That's how it works over there. Fascists. Just kidding about the fascism. I get universal healthcare. It's like five bucks to go to the dentist's.
My grandmother doesn't have to go to the dentist anymore. No teeth left. She had a stroke when she was 68, then she grew smaller and smaller and then impossibly smaller. It's been ten years, and she is dry skin draped over brittle bones now. A wind could carry her away like a kite whose string has broken, my grandmother kite.