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33 • New York, NY • Man
I’m looking for
- Ages 23-40
- Near me
- Who are single
- For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
- Last online
- Jun 28, 2014
- Relationship Type
- 5' 8" (1.73m)
- Body Type
So everything is cool and if i can share some happy moments with new and interesting people i'll count that as a success!
Something to read
I guess that just about covers it
You require only 3 hours of sleep in a week and even then sleep on a stool
You've successfully defended a small columbian village from an invasion from the local drug cartel with no more equipment than a flare gun, a donkey cart, 3 bags of cheetohs, a book of matches and a ragtag yet lovable group of illiterate farmers
You've declined to accept an academy award because you were not permitted to bring the film crew on stage with you
You've masturbated to all 738 episodes of star trek
You've hunted down 8 out of 10 fugitives on the america's most wanted watch list while being both numbers 1 and 2 yourself
You regularly shave your body hair whether you need to or not
You snort cocaine through a pringles can
You rescue kittens from trees when you're hungry
You've given noogies to ron paul while explaining the nuances of austrian economics to his adorable and besmothered face
You abort children unsafely, illegally and often
That one time you saw something you were quick to say something
You manufactured crystal methamphetamine before breaking bad simply made it not cool anymore
Your pit fighting name is derived from spanish poetry
che quevara is buried in a t shirt with your face on it
When the time is right, you know how to make like a tree and get the hell outta here
You left the aryan nations because they were a bunch of pussies
Large Marge sent you
You served those six months in lockup with pride... and would tear off a mattress label again without hesitating
You spent 6 years dealing with the realities of being burned by the CIA, eking out a living by taking on private cases with nobody to help you but your elderly mom, your alcoholic brother, an old navy buddy who retired to florida with an unhealthy reliance on mojitos and tommy bahama t shirts, and the true love of your life who you left behind after you were compromised during a covert op ferreting out arabic interests within a radical cell of the irish republican army 6 years earlier
And yet despite all of that... you still have never found a person who you truly loved
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