Blah. Essay. Didn't I graduate so that I could stop writing these things? Okay, I'll do it later.

Maybe.

OK then, if you insist.

I'm smart, skeptical, and intense. People have called me a force of nature. I develop strong opinions only after much consideration. I'm a discontinuous vegetarian (I occasionally cheat) -- mostly for health reasons. I tend to get tongue-tied around attractive women; why do you cruel vixens torture me so? I'm MARRIED, but alas, I'm a sexual creature, I'm not easily satisfied, and I'm often on the road. Go ahead, judge me poorly -- better yet, maybe you should come over and we can discuss it for a little while.

I'm such an asshole.

I am mischievous, irreverent, and intense

Procrastinating. I guess one of these days I'd better start breathing again. Maybe then I'll finish my plan for planetary domination!

Telling the future. Reading people. Debating the Facts NOT In Question.

I can become invisible at will.

(a) Atlas Shrugged, The Fountainhead, Anthem, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Ender's Game, Seventh Son, Freakonomics, Moneyball, The Ancestor's Tale, Wonderful Life, Einstein's Cosmos, Visions, Hyperspace, Parallel Worlds, A Brief History of Time, God Created the Integers, On Intelligence

(b) Casablanca ("Play it once, Sam. For old times' sake."), Treasure of the Sierra Madre ("You talk about that mountain like it was a real woman."), Lorenzo's Oil ("I always thought medical science was in the service of the people. Now I understand that the people are in the service of medical science."), Rocky ("He doesn't know it's supposed to be a show! He thinks it's a damn fight!"), Joe Versus the Volcano ("My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know. Everybody you see. Everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake and they live in a state of constant total amazement.")

(c) Sting (anything). The man is brilliant -- a poet and a life force. Too many others to mention, in almost every genre.

(d) Spicy. And more spicy. Got any hot sauce?

Something to fight and win for. The freedom to choose any damn thing I want. Boundless energy. Brilliant music. That unbelievable shade between bright red and hot orange. Your undivided attention (how's that for pandering).

My plan for global subjugation.

Wasting valuable time that I could be spending plotting world takeover.

* whistle *

You're hot & bothered, nearby, and have a few hours to kill ;) OR You can help me with my EVIL WORLD TAKEOVER PLOT.