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24 M Redwood City, CA

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–26
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 3:48am
Middle Eastern, White
6′ 2″ (1.88m)
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Not at all
Relationship Status
Relationship Type

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
One thing I know I believe: whether we find ourselves attracted or repulsed by each others' scent is way more important for determining whether we would actually be compatible than most of what we could possibly find written up on a screen. Sometimes people are biological matches for each other, and sometimes they aren't - either way, our bodies know it, and that's what everything actually comes down to.

"To hell with reality! I want to die in music, not in reason or in prose. People don’t deserve the restraint we show by not going into delirium in front of them. To hell with them!" - LOUIS-FERDINAND CÉLINE, JOURNEY TO THE END OF THE NIGHT

I want to get a tattoo of Sisyphus pushing a boulder inside a circle on which is engraved the Latin for: "burn, brief candle; dance, oh walking shadow." Whether you understand the references or not, this tells you a lot about me.

"I've never been more than a bodiless gaze, whose only soul was a slight breeze that passed by and saw.

I have something of the spirit of a bohemian, of those who let life slip away, like something that slips through one's fingers because the gesture to seize it falls asleep at the mere idea.

I've lived certain moments of respite in the presence of Nature, moments sculpted out of tender isolation, that will always be like medals for me. In these moments I forgot all of my life's goals, all of the paths I wanted to follow. An immense spiritual tranquility fell into the blue lap of my aspirations and allowed me to enjoy being nothing." - Fernando Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet, translated by Richard Zenith, p. 269


"Clearing my mind again.
Watch the waves crashing onto the black sand,
and stare across the sea. Glad to see
something out of control like me.
Remember where I’m from.
A tiny spec like a cell in the ocean.
And all my grave concerns
will burn out with me,
never to return."

No matter what we do with anything, no matter how far our personal legacies may carry on, everything - absolutely everythng - is destined to become ash and dust. Even if we were to escape the Mlky Way galaxy before our sun expands and devours everything and we began hopping from galaxy to galaxy, the whole Universe will eventually either freeze, rip, or burn to death altogether given any possible set of cosmological assumptions.

I live with a bunch of eco-hippies, and while I truly, highly value the commitments to designing healthy environments, I don't buy any kind of 'saving the planet' sort of ethos out of it. The way I see it, we either have 1000 people live on Earth consuming resources for 10,000 years, or else we have 10,000 people live on Earth consuming resources for 1000 years - in the end the Earth is still just as dead and just the same number of total people ultimately came and went (numbers used for principle of illustraton, and not for scale). Want to stop global warming? Great, but there ain't shit you can do about the inevitable final destruction of absolutely everything. As Jim Morrison put it, "I just want to get my kicks in before the whole shthouse goes down in flames." The real question is not 'how can we keep this little light shining,' but 'hey - how can we make the best fireworks out of this flame that we've got before it burns all the way down? It's gonna die no matter what we do. But look - right now we have the chance to make FIREWORKS.'

I don't give a damn about living if I'm living just to get by. Or if I'm struggling more than I'm enjoying it. What I want out of life are, for God's sakes, experences. Let's pretend we're all here because we agreed in another dimension to have our heads plugged in to next-gen hyper-realistic virtual reality machines. Let's live like we all just woke up in a dream and can do whatever the fuck we want and none of it matters except for the story itself because every consequence will vanish with the fading of the dream itself. Because the truth is, that's exactly what the situation is like. If every single living creature were to vanish from existence tonight, you know who would care? By definiton, no one - because no one would be left. And that's exactly the situation it's all going to end up in, no matter what. So who did you allow to convince you that keeping the world turning is important for any other reason whatsoever besides that we - you and I - still happen to feel like spinning around on its surface or that we can't revoke that pointless whim as frivolously as we granted it? No one is in control here but us.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Forgot which girl in the threesome had the foot fetish
– Call that getting off on the wrong foot.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.

Update months after the below was written: my music mix right now is half The Doors, and the other half: I’m getting really into dark, alternative R&B along the lines of The Weeknd lately. The closest similars I can find (check these out if you like Tesfaye, and tell me what you think!) are Meek DeMeo (listen to Near Death), Johnny Rain (listen to Jericho), and TALWST (Illangelo produced his EP, Alien Tentacle Sex; listen to Mercy Me). And if you know anything similar, do make recommendations back. (End of Update) Update to the update: Banks and FKA Twigs. Even better than the references above but definitely still just as Weeknd-inspired.

I’m a huge fan of the oud, a Middle Eastern fretless guitar–like instrument. We get the English word “lute” from a bastardization of “oud:” the word ‘the’ in Arabic is “al,” so “al oud” eventually became corrupted to “lute.” At first, anything you hear played on an oud might sound the same to you, because it’s in such different scales from what you’re used to. The incredible book This is Your Brain on Music details the fact that the brain’s response to music is plastic; in other words, how you hear music in the most literal sense very crucially depends on what you’ve been exposed to, and for how long, and especially in earlier childhood. Three songs I would recommend that are somewhat more accessible to people who aren’t used to it and will surely sound very different from one another are The Astounding Eyes of Rita from Anouar Brahem (Tunisian), Asfar by Le Trio Joubran (Palestinian), and Happened at al–Amiriya by Naseer Shamma (Iraqi). Happened at al–Amiriya is “about” the American invasion of Baghdad; soft playing represents the peaceful mood in time prior, and then a playing technique that is more difficult to pull off than it sounds makes the whole instrument sound like a blaring siren, before things get hectic. Of the three, it’s the one you’ll surely find least enjoyable to listen to; but this is one of the things I love most about the oud: it often feels less like it’s playing you a song than it does like it’s telling you a passionate story. I’m already pretty damn good at guitar. I’m planning to purchase an oud in the very near future, and I’m planning on getting really damn good with it too. And I cant wait to see what the songs I write and record myself will sound like when I combine oud playing with the guitar style Ive already developed.

I’ve already discussed my love of hip hop in the “summary” (not as if that section actually “summarized” anything). I’ll give you a few more samples of the kinds of things I like, here. The UK has a way more talented ’scene’ taking place than the US. And I suppose because Middle Easterners make up so much of the ’’ghetto’’ of Europe, a lot of them are Middle Eastern as well. Lowkey, a British–born half–Iraqi, is one of my favorites. The song Terrorist? includes lines like ’is terrorism my lyrics — when more Vietnam vets killed themselves after the war than died in it?’ and ’is seems nuts — how could there be such agony, when more Israelis die from peanut allergies?’ (It’s true: more Israelis die from peanut allergies than from Palestinian terrorism.) It’s the kind of rap you can get an education from; there are references to political figures like Salvador Allende and Mohammed Mossadegh you need to recognize in order to understand some of the points.

A couple more: Mic Righteous. He’s much less political, but ’I Know’ is one of my favorite workout pump tracks of all time. Devlin. Check ’Runaway’ and both the studio and acoustic versions of ’Rewind.’ Reveal. Listen to ’Warning’ and ’Neva Blink.’ Akala. Listen to ’Find No Enemy.’ I’ll leave it there, for now, and I won’t write another love poem for Dessa.

Basically, I love anything that sounds new. I literally get depressed sometimes when I start analyzing it and thinking about how there are only so many places for music to ’go.’ So I’m constantly in a struggle of a search to find things that push my forming boundaries in some way (as I am with most things in life). So I admittedly like a lot of the music I do just because it’s so different, even if in a way that quality of the music isn’t as great. I’m starting to appreciate a lot of jazz, for that kind of reason.

I’m getting a pretty hard boner for jazz/metal fusion recently. Trioscapes is probably the standout in the genre. T.R.A.M. features members of Animals as Leaders with The Mars Volta’s flute player.

One of my most–recently–favorite favorite discoveries from 2012 is Niechęć, a Polish avant–garde jazz group. I’ve never seen jazz emulate the feeling of being in a gutter in quite the way that they do. I can picture Camus or Sartre putting the CD on while writing The Myth of Sisyphus or Nausea. It makes me want to buy a cigar and put on a long black trench coat. It’s like ‘death’ and ‘sexy’ at exactly the same time – and then Mars Volta–type chaos bursts out of it all. Listen to “After You.”

Along similar lines, I’m a huge fan of Sinouj (Nawa Party) and Javier Paxariño in general. Percussionist Glen Velez Rhythms of the Chakras albums are pretty interesting.

I’m also a fan of triphop. Like Massive Attack. Like Tricky, one of the members of Massive Attack who went solo (Hell is Round the Corner). And I’m a really huge fan of a group called Submotion Orchestra (start with Thinking).

Nneka is pretty cool. I like a few things from Me’Shell Ndgeocello. I went through a weird George Michael phase awhile back (My Mother Had a Brother is one of his best, I think—“they say that I was born on the day that he died. Someone to cling to, she said, when all the noises and the shame came calling.” It’s about a gay uncle of his who killed himself before homosexuality began to be more accepted. ). CocoRosie.

I’ve waaaay outgrown Linkin Park, but there are still some things that sound pretty numetalish I continue to like, too. (This song from Twelve Foot Ninja is pretty hilarious (there is supposed to be a link to Coming For You here)).

Lisa Lynne and Aryeh Frankfurter have a duet album of classical Celtic music that I think is pretty goddamn amazing. Listening to this alone on an empty beach one night with a good sativa was a damned near transcendental experience.

And the Ass Saw the Angel, by Nick Cave.
(Yes, that’s Nick Cave of The Bad Seeds.)
The Wasp Factory, by Iain Banks.

But I read those in high school. Really, there’s just too much to learn about the real world for me to be able to get into fiction very often. The two books I’m reading right now are The Holy Mushroom: Evidence of Mushrooms in Judeo–Christianity: A critical re–evaluation of the schism between John M. Allegro and R. Gordon Wasson over the theory on the entheogenics origins of Christianity presented in The Sacred Mushroom and the Cross discussing the role psychedelic mushrooms might have played in Christianity (check out this French fresco very clearly depicting the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil as amanita muscaria),

. . . and First Sight: ESP and Parapsychology in Everyday Life by James Carpenter, Ph.D (Review from Daryl J. Bem, professor emeritus of psychology at Cornell University: “[the book] is written from James Carpenter’s unique dual perspective as both a respected research scientist and a practicing psychotherapist. It is an exciting and elegantly written book that simultaneously makes a major theoretical contribution to the science of psychic functioning while providing an accurate, non-technical overview of the field accessible to the interested general reader.”) People automatically think that even asking the question of whether any psi phenomena might be legitimate is inherently antiscientific; but the fact is that that is little more than a prejudice about what kinds of things we expect science to reveal about the human mind. But if science in principle cannot possibly explain the nature of consciousness itself in the first place (I am not referring to quantum physics or any such nonsense: study the argument from the conceivability of zombies: any explanation science could possibly provide will be based on describing mechanisms. But no matter what, any mechanism we could possibly describe can always conceivably have existed without any consciousness accompanying it whatsoever. So in principle, science is absolutely incapable of ever explaining consciousness on its own), how can we assume it rules out the possibility of consciousness doing weird and surprising things? In fact there is a large body of evidence which, as Carpenter shows, can at least be interpreted in a way which provides support for the idea that psi is simply a basic human phenomena that is happening all the time. I am, myself, somewhat agnostic about it; but I do find it interesting and materialists are at the least flat wrong to think these concepts should just be ruled out on principle.

. . . Let’s just say I’m a health freak. …Well, no, I’m not just a health freak. I’m the kind of health freak you’ll find debating other health freak about which health freaks are right in different health freak debates. The kind who knows the difference between ketosis and ketoacidosis, realizes fiber is counted under the ’total carbs’ section of the nutrition label (you wouldn’t think…), and checks the leucine content of the food I eat to ensure each meal is spurring protein synthesis. I mean, I really love learning about this stuff and applying it. I don’t eat animal products unless they’re free–range and grass–fed even if this means I have to cut back, I skip breakfast intentionally and regularly don’t eat my first meal until 2pm or even later (see, the only sweetener I consume is stevia (and I realize you have to be diligent to ensure you’re buying pure stevia and not a concoction made mostly of maltodextrin–filler which might as well be plain sugar) and I don’t eat anything that has even a gram of refined sugar in it at all. Once you start to feel as good as these changes make you feel, sticking to it isn’t even a challenge.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
doing the same thing I do EVERY night, Pinky. . .