I am greatest human being of all time. I cured cancer as a Grade 4 Science project but the medical industrial complex buried it in order to maintain profits. I don't have six pack abs, I have a 24. That's 18 more abs. My super power is to find fault in any person, place or thing. I have achieved total spiritual enlightenment, so I've got that going for me, which is nice. I don't have an exceptionally large penis, but my balls are out-of-this-world. Soft, welcoming, luxuriant, enticing, all are words used often when referring to my balls. I fought the law and the law didn't win, it was a tie. I speak every language that has ever existed, and some that haven't. I can leap large buildings in a single bound, but I usually just take the bus. I am so handsome that Brad Pitt refuses to be photographed next to me. And I'm rich. I own several small countries, operate a secret space station orbiting earth, and also have a sweet watch that tells the time and date. I am also a world renowned lover, and can make a woman climax just by looking at her. I was drafted in every professional sports league in North America but chose instead to volunteer my time to feed starving children. I invented the colour blue. If you want to know more about my thrilling exploits please message me and I'll have my personal assistant send you a form letter.