I love my friends, even the ones that piss me off. I love my family, my sister kicks ass. I even love my parents (*shocked gasp*). I desperately want a kitten and a puppy and have yet to accept that I can't _actually_ become Stephanie Plum. I love the 'I love you like I love...' game (like teqilla and skittled vodka, like marlboro reds and watching the stars, like staying up all night, like laughing till you cry, like thai green curry and strawberry poptarts - they're fruit so they're good for you, right?) but I haven't played in years. I love my tattoo. It makes me sad when other people are, even if they're on TV. I identify with some aspect of almost everyone and still try to convince myself that that makes me special. I want to be one of the suicide girls.
I spend too much time wanting to be alone when I'm with people and too much time wanting company when I'm by myself. I'm kinda difficult like that. I don't believe in fate because I hate thinking that something else controls me (will we ever recover from The Matrix? Doubtful.) but I never walk on drain covers because it's bad luck. I need Ethan to care because I don't want to wonder if I do. I have never had an orgasm. I can curse in several different languages (my parents would be so proud). I love the faint smell of shampoo you get when you're close enough to another person. I think the most powerfull line of poetry I've ever read is 'their cowed subjection to the ghosts of friends who died'. I miss my guitar, my rifle and my chickens. I talk too much when I'm nervous and I write too much when I'm trying to make a good impression. I'm always either trying too hard or not trying hard enough. And I drink too much.
I like people better when I'm fucked and they are too. I've never had sober sex and I'm not sure I want to. I do almost everything I shouldn't just because I hate being told how to live my life, yet I'm stunningly submissive and get turned on by being tied up... I'm a contradiction. I adore Barbie (even if she is a slut I still want to _be_ her!) I love snuggling with my friends but still wonder whatever happened to all those old-fashioned men who'd be gone before breakfast? I scored higher than 97% on brooding. I don't agree with the hunting ban. I forget to take my make-up off before I go to bed. I have a deeply annoying tendancy to quote movies and song lyrics at inappropriate moments (which would be all the time). Sometimes it makes people hate me. Ooooops.
I'm so glad I moved to Leeds - it's probably the only good decision I've ever made. I've never been in love and the idea scares me - you only end up getting fucked over. I've never had a crush on anyone and that does upset me. Hand-cuffs and leather turn me on. So does being forced to wait (thank you Gemma!). I can down a pint faster than anyone I know. Tequilla shots make me feel fuzzy on the inside. Almost ever single sentence in my profile starts with 'I'. I spend money I don't have on expensive single malts and dark chocolate with chilli. I read Buffy fanfiction (I know, I know) and am finding it increasingly hard to separate real life from fantasy. I'm always ready for an adventure but have yet to find a vampire, a treasure map or a dragon. I find it difficult to care about politics, mainly because I still haven't convinced myself that they affect me too. Trainspotting makes me want to get fucked and then get laid. Is that weird? I've never done heroin or acid.
My room is only ever tidied when I should be working. If you don't know where it's safe to stand, you shouldn't be in there. I feel sorry for the Gremlins, they're kinda cute when they're not trying to kill people. I can't listen to Mraz without wanting to crazy dance and I can't hear 'do I look like a slut?' without wanting to go 'uh-huh, shut up'. I read too much too quickly. I love being bitten - hard. In fact, the more pain I'm in, the more I like it. I over-analyse everything until it becomes my fault. I should have been a Catholic, I've got the guilt thing down. Charlie from Lost is a rock god. I hate that people define themselves by the job they do - you are not your fucking khakis! I can recite Fight Club word for word. Other people's feet are gross. I'm only attracted to people who I think will hurt me. I expect to be disappointed.
I am dismissive, irreverent, and so last season