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27 F Oxford, United Kingdom

My Details

Last Online
Feb 26, 2012
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Trying to quit
Christianity, and laughing about it
Sagittarius, but it doesn’t matter
Working on university
Less than $20,000
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), German, French, Latin, Italian

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My self-summary
Ummmmmmmm...I guess this is the bit where I try and persuade random people to talk to me. Difficult. So I'm 21 now (a real live grown-up!) I'm a student (biology but I wanna be a primary school teacher eventually (what could possibly beat playing with glitter all day?)) and I live in Leeds. I'm kinda straight but sometimes sleep with girls. Usually my best friends. Go figure. It's a fun game. Until they turn into scary-stalker-bunny-boiler types. Then it's less fun... I'm very definately single, mainly cuz I'm crap at relationships (I could never love you enough to trust you, we just met and I just fucked you) - I just get bored quickly and run out of stuff to say.

I love my friends, even the ones that piss me off. I love my family, my sister kicks ass. I even love my parents (*shocked gasp*). I desperately want a kitten and a puppy and have yet to accept that I can't _actually_ become Stephanie Plum. I love the 'I love you like I love...' game (like teqilla and skittled vodka, like marlboro reds and watching the stars, like staying up all night, like laughing till you cry, like thai green curry and strawberry poptarts - they're fruit so they're good for you, right?) but I haven't played in years. I love my tattoo. It makes me sad when other people are, even if they're on TV. I identify with some aspect of almost everyone and still try to convince myself that that makes me special. I want to be one of the suicide girls.

I spend too much time wanting to be alone when I'm with people and too much time wanting company when I'm by myself. I'm kinda difficult like that. I don't believe in fate because I hate thinking that something else controls me (will we ever recover from The Matrix? Doubtful.) but I never walk on drain covers because it's bad luck. I need Ethan to care because I don't want to wonder if I do. I have never had an orgasm. I can curse in several different languages (my parents would be so proud). I love the faint smell of shampoo you get when you're close enough to another person. I think the most powerfull line of poetry I've ever read is 'their cowed subjection to the ghosts of friends who died'. I miss my guitar, my rifle and my chickens. I talk too much when I'm nervous and I write too much when I'm trying to make a good impression. I'm always either trying too hard or not trying hard enough. And I drink too much.

I like people better when I'm fucked and they are too. I've never had sober sex and I'm not sure I want to. I do almost everything I shouldn't just because I hate being told how to live my life, yet I'm stunningly submissive and get turned on by being tied up... I'm a contradiction. I adore Barbie (even if she is a slut I still want to _be_ her!) I love snuggling with my friends but still wonder whatever happened to all those old-fashioned men who'd be gone before breakfast? I scored higher than 97% on brooding. I don't agree with the hunting ban. I forget to take my make-up off before I go to bed. I have a deeply annoying tendancy to quote movies and song lyrics at inappropriate moments (which would be all the time). Sometimes it makes people hate me. Ooooops.

I'm so glad I moved to Leeds - it's probably the only good decision I've ever made. I've never been in love and the idea scares me - you only end up getting fucked over. I've never had a crush on anyone and that does upset me. Hand-cuffs and leather turn me on. So does being forced to wait (thank you Gemma!). I can down a pint faster than anyone I know. Tequilla shots make me feel fuzzy on the inside. Almost ever single sentence in my profile starts with 'I'. I spend money I don't have on expensive single malts and dark chocolate with chilli. I read Buffy fanfiction (I know, I know) and am finding it increasingly hard to separate real life from fantasy. I'm always ready for an adventure but have yet to find a vampire, a treasure map or a dragon. I find it difficult to care about politics, mainly because I still haven't convinced myself that they affect me too. Trainspotting makes me want to get fucked and then get laid. Is that weird? I've never done heroin or acid.

My room is only ever tidied when I should be working. If you don't know where it's safe to stand, you shouldn't be in there. I feel sorry for the Gremlins, they're kinda cute when they're not trying to kill people. I can't listen to Mraz without wanting to crazy dance and I can't hear 'do I look like a slut?' without wanting to go 'uh-huh, shut up'. I read too much too quickly. I love being bitten - hard. In fact, the more pain I'm in, the more I like it. I over-analyse everything until it becomes my fault. I should have been a Catholic, I've got the guilt thing down. Charlie from Lost is a rock god. I hate that people define themselves by the job they do - you are not your fucking khakis! I can recite Fight Club word for word. Other people's feet are gross. I'm only attracted to people who I think will hurt me. I expect to be disappointed.

I am dismissive, irreverent, and so last season
What I’m doing with my life
Wishing I could be Ethan Rayne then wondering why. Wishing that he existed, at least. Learning to play guitar, shoot and juggle (I'm better at the guitar). Attempting to walk on my hands. Pretending that I know who I want to be and this is it. Desperately wanting a really cool coat... Cooking like Bree on speed and pandering to other peoples children. Convincing the world that acting normal is just another way to be dull.
I’m really good at
Offending people, acting out,getting fucked, making people laugh when I don't mean to (niggling worry that they might be laughing _at_ me...hmmmmm), singing along to absolutely everything (yes, I know it's annoying. Like you're not too?), not noticing anything (haircuts, break-ups, sexuality, new clothes, birthdays; really _anything_) which leads to some awkward situations... Dressing up, putting on odd socks, listening (sometimes I even manage not to giggle. Sometimes), solving other people's problems - whether they like it or not, eating too much, talking on the phone, playing dead, worrying people, entertaining small children, snuggling, giving head, making stuff, winning arguements (actually, that's a lie, I'm just good at pretending that I won), staying up late, cooking stuff, sleeping. Actually that's a lie. I have chronic insomnia most of the time, right up until I need to be awake and then my body decides it's tired. Bloody awkward sometimes, too...
The first things people usually notice about me
Probably that I'm dressed slightly oddly due to my nasty habit of falling out of bed and grabbing whatever happens to be clean. Usually off my floor. Or that I'm not wearing shoes (I refuse to be bound by social convention! Only kidding, I just wear uncomfortable shoes until they hurt, then take them off). Or possibly my constant air of slight distraction...
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Fight Club, the Hitch Hiker's Guide (increasingly inaccurately named) triology, Layer Cake, Rent ('I like it between my...''...fingers, I figured'), kedgeree, Dogs Die in Hot Cars, Brandy Alexanders, Robbie Wiliams, Carl Hiaasen books, The Matrix, The Cure, Christmas leftovers, Aerosmith, Pirates of the Carribian (mmmmm, Johnny Depp in eyeliner), Yellowcard, knickerbockerglories, Trapt, A Series of Unfortunate Events (actually, anything by Lemony Snicket), fried egg sandwiches, Scissor Sisters, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, posh cocktails (shaken, not stired), Kasabian, the Chronicles of Narnia, poptarts (cold on DofE), The Who, Igby Goes Down, System of a Down, 10 things I Hate About You (yet another film I can recite...), Idlewild, Thai green curry, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Oasis, any sort of cake, Ice Age, The Verve, Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion, The Clash, roast dinners, Incubus, Lilo and Stich (still makes me cry), tinned ravioli, Nirvana, all the Biggles books, lollypops, Deathcab for Cutie, Shaun of the Dead (and it _is_ scary, whatever people tell you!), anything by Terry Pratchett, all the Monty Python films, coke floats, Secretary (unbeliveably hot), Sex Pistols, The Emperor's New Groove (demon llama? Where?), Dashboard Confessional, the Jeeves books (PG Wodehouse), Nightmare Before Christmas, Weezer, homemade bread, Mraz (you need a ride? Well come on girl, hop in the truck), hot chocolate with whipped cream on top, cream in any form (mmmmmmmm), Funeral for A Friend, The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse, cold pizza, My Chemical Romance (I want my funeral like the Helena video. But I'm not sure people would want to spend all that money on matching black unbrellas lined with red...maybe they could make them?), the Stephanie Plum series, Stella, Interview With the Vampire and Queen of the Dammed, Taking Back Sunday, really blue steak, Kaiser Chiefs, anything you can eat off someone else, Monsters Inc., cheese, Fall Out Boy, The Gruffalo (...and purple prickles all over his back), The Ramones, haselet (kinda like meatloaf), James Blunt, sweet cherry pie, Bring It On, the Regeneration trilogy, The Libertines, Babyshambles (Pete Doherty is innocent! Poor lamb), cupcakes and cookies, Mission Impossible II, pink champagne (actually, any champagne), Mr and Mrs Smith ('who's your daddy now?'), spring rolls dipped in sweet chilli sauce and I'm gonna stop now!
The six things I could never do without
My friends (the ones I like, anyway), my family (sickening I know but please try not to puke), cute knickers (black satin today! My new favourites!), books (I'll pretty much read anything so long as it gives me something to do), 'borrowed' clothes (I will give them back, just not yet), food (and no, I'm not being facetious, I do have a minor food obsession. I nest when I'm angry or unhappy and since there's a limit to the number of times I can usefully scrub the microwave, cooking is a big part of that. Also more fun...)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
My funeral (I know it's morbid but I'd hate for them to get it wrong), ways to make money that don't involve actually working (crack whore is top of my list right now, money to get laid, drugs to take your mind off it - perfect), just how cold my room is (_really_ cold, if you were wondering), if I'm gonna eat anything but sourdough bread and marmite today (unlikely), saving the world (one day I will and then everyone who mocks me now will repent! *evil laugh*), how much I want to wear my corset (all the time), just how amazingly hot a threesome with Ethan and Spike would be (though I do find it weird that I consistently go for older, upper-middle class, flippant, sarcastic british guys with just a hint of kill-you-in-your-sleep-evil...), when we're gonna go ice-skating (soon!), what to call my children (not that I have any or intend to in the near future but it's always best to be prepared, right?), whether sleeping with your friends is ever a good idea (conclusion: nope (unless you shagged them _then_ became friends, sometimes that works)), what I've forgotten (usually pjs or a pencil), whether bondage tape would be a good investment, what to buy my mom for mother's day, how I really shouldn't be allowed to drink any more, where I can get blue hair dye from (I want streaks and I can only find pink), the fact that I have a completely overactive imagination...
On a typical Friday night I am
On the train. Not that I particulary like being on the train. But I don't have a car and I'm just so stunningly popular that people can't bear not seeing me (no, really, they can't. Stop laughing, it's not a joke. Stop it! Fine...) and so - the train. On a better Friday night I am snuggled on the sofa with a decent movie (_not_ The Machinist - worst film ever!), buttered popcorn and minions to do my will. Or getting very drunk and crazy dancing in some random club (probably the cockpit in Leeds but I still miss the underground, even if it was in Stoke...). Or, y'know, getting laid (yeah, if you believe that, you'll believe anything.)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Make me tell. Go on, I dare you...
I’m looking for
  • Guys and girls who like bi girls
  • Ages 18–32
  • Near me
  • For new friends, short-term dating
You should message me if
You're breathing? Actually, I'm not even that picky. If any of that made you laugh. If you have more than two brain cells to rub together and dnt thnk typng lk ths mks u 'cool'. If you live near me. If you want to go ice-skating. If you know a quite interesting fact. If you understand my Ethan obsession. If you've never typed 'Comment on my pictures - PLEASE' and meant it. If you want someone to talk to. If you can teach me something new. If you have an interesting opinion on anything. If you've seen me naked. If you want to... If you can use punctuation (really, it's not _that_ difficult, is it?). If you don't now think I'm some kind of punctuation fascist. If you want to go on an adventure. If you need a babysitter (I'm good with kids, really, I am). If you want to exchange your hard earned cash for my goods and services (sorry, more basterdised quotes). If you agree with me. If you disagree with me. If you've bothered to read this far!