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30 Emeryville, CA Genderqueer, Bigender

Genderqueer, Bigender

Similar users

I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 24–50
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 10:19pm
Queer, Sapiosexual
Mostly anything
Cancer, but it doesn’t matter
Working on two-year college
Mostly non-monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs
English (Fluently), German (Okay), Spanish (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm only looking for new people who want to be friends first. If more comes from the friendship, then great, but I'm definitely not searching for hookups or short-lived flings. I'm looking for best friends, not friends with benefits.

I am hella genderqueer, generally flamboyant, sometimes snarky, and often mistaken for a gay male. I usually don't even bother to try flirting with heterosexual women because they often just end up confused. If you're straight and interested in me, don't be shy about writing though.

I'm very pragmatic, but not without a weird playful side. I'm a cuddler, a writer, a painter, an agnostic Unitarian Universalist, liberal on most political subjects, extroverted in the Summer, and introverted in the Winter.

I ride my bicycle everywhere, and I do all my own bike maintenance.

I'm a total sucker for selfless do-gooders.

When I want to be social, I often like to go out dancing or to karaoke at a bar, but nothing beats a chill house party. When I don't want to be particularly social, you can find me either reading a book, playing on my computer, bingeing on a TV series, or submitting to my studies.

I once set my OkC account to "include me in searches for women," and left it that way overnight. When I woke up in the morning, I had over forty quickmatch alerts, all from straight men who very obviously just clicked the star-button without glancing at so much as my photos, let alone my profile. It baffles me that any women take this site seriously.

I'm mostly non-monogamous, but I'd consider monogamy for somebody who was really special; head over heels kind of special. Like I started off with: Let's be friends first, and see where that goes.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Currently working on getting my undergraduate degree, at community college. I'm almost done with the two year thing, and am not sure if I want to transfer right away, or take half a year off.

My ultimate career goal is to be an educator for teens or preteens. I was trying rather relentlessly to find a job that will help me eventually become a sex educator, but it has proven extremely difficult to get that path started. I'm currently giving thought to special education, or maybe history. The need to reflect on a career shift is part of the reason I desire a pause in my education. I definitely want to teach though.

My philosophy for life is that if you can make other people's lives better, your own will be entirely worth it. When I'm 70, I want to be able to look back at what I've done, at the people I've helped, and feel pride.

Since I started school, I have been biking almost everywhere. My bicycle is a source of meditation and joy for me, as well as providing transportation. I'll never go back to driving a car every day, if I can help it.

Relatedly, government grants alone do not pay the whole rent, and so I do some courier work in SF. It's not the greatest, but I do enjoy biking, and I'm getting to know the streets of SF better every day.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
... Bicycle maintenance and repair, as well as working with my hands in a variety of other ways.

... Writing at length, with style.

... Detail cleaning.

... Mimicking accents. Give me a week in someplace new, and I'll start to fool the locals into thinking I'm one of them without even really meaning to.

... Saving money by being thrifty, which is rather ironic considering how much I hate our monetary system.

... Explaining fun facts about sex which you may have been unaware of. Unless you're as much of a sex geek as I am, what you don't know may surprise you.

I love to sing and dance. I'm pretty good at both, or so they tell me. I really enjoy going out to dance at clubs, especially the East Bay queer ones. I've also recently discovered the joys of social dances, like contra.

I'm really good at starting conversations, and at breathing new life in to group discussions once they get stale. I'm kind of bad at participating in group discussions though, although I try. I'm strange like this. Relatedly, I'm also rather fearless when it comes to talking to strangers, especially if they're cute.

I enjoy paying attention to politics and occasionally getting pissed off at our government. I read (and very occasionally watch) the news habitually, on a near daily basis. My goto sources for news are RT, Al Jazeera, Reporters Without Borders, Ben Swann, and lately The Guardian.

I have NEVER lost a best two-out-of-three thumb wrestling match. I used to challenge everyone I met, but winning got boring (this was back in my teens). If you think you can beat me, I'll welcome your contest, but I am totally, 100% serious about never having lost before. Relatedly: I have very flexible thumbs.

People tell me that my handwriting is gorgeous. I'm not sure that beautiful handwriting is any more a practical skill than thumb wrestling is, but it's something I do.

And cooking! Not something I do every day, but it's certainly my most practical skill. I know my way around a spice rack pretty darn well, or at least I like to think so. Usually when I cook, it's a soup or sauce, and it's almost always vegetarian or vegan. I'm not a vegetarian myself, just health conscious.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Usually, the very first thing that people notice about me is that I'm wearing rather femme makeup. If my hair is down, I receive frequent remarks about how long and beautiful it is.

Also, I'm a rather snazzy dresser. I frequently receive compliments on my outfits, mostly from friends I already know. For first dates, ironically, I must often make an effort to not come across as trying too hard.

Lots of people initially tend to assume that I'm a gay male. Sometimes I correct them, sometimes I just roll with it. Straight cis-girls treat me very differently when they assume I'm gay, and it's kind of fun. I do not intentionally deceive people, I just let them form their own opinions.

Besides the physical, people also notice that I have a lot of courage, often peculiarly accompanied by a difficulty in speaking up. I find it incredibly easy to get on stage, or to just walk up to strangers and attempt to start conversations, but I don't always have the easiest time chiming in on ongoing conversations. Just one of the many ways in which I am an oddball.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I feel that I should tell you that even though I'm cooperating, and making these lists, this is the one section that I always skip over when I first read somebody's profile, and I'm likely to not update this part of my own profile very often. I'm 100% confident that I can be friends, or even lovers, with somebody who has different tastes in entertainment, sources of knowledge, and cuisine than I do.

(Books) The Hitchhiker's Guide "Trilogy," The Celestine Prophecy, The Catcher in the Rye, The Mysterious Stranger, Brave New World, The Windup Girl

(Movies) Black Dynamite, Moulin Rouge, The Matrix, Harold and Maude, Benny and Joone, Fantastic Planet, Headwig and the Angry Inch, anything directed by Danny Boyle or Steven Spielberg, and I'm always down for a documentary

(Music) Atmosphere, All Good Funk Alliance, The Handsome Boy Modeling School, Hilltop Hoods, MGMT, Gnarls Barkley, Ronald Jenkees, Ratatat, a lot of 90's pop-rock, and my favorite album of all time is Gordon by the Barenaked Ladies (way better than their later stuff)

(Food) Pesto, pizza, golden delicious apples, most things Indian/Pakistani, cheese, and an assortment of hot sauces.

(Radio/Podcast) This American Life, A Prairie Home Companion, Wait Wait Don't Tell Me, Car Talk

(TV) The Newsroom, MASH, 30 Rock, Futurama, South Park, This American Life (TAL was short lived on TV, but episode one of season two is my favorite episode of anything, ever. It's on Netflix, but I must warn you that you might cry tears of saddness, and laugh for joy at the same time. It's a real emotional rollercoaster.), The Daily Show, NOVA
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
• First and foremost: Good friends
• Nature (as in going out and experiencing it)
• A thesaurus (A dictionary almost made the list, but I use a thesaurus far more often.)
• Love (platonic, romantic, or both)
• Learning
• A bicycle
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm pretty open; you can ask me anything. Here are some strange and/or embarrassing things about me:

I have a lot of trouble relating to cis-males. The kinder, gentler, less sporty ones make this easier though.

I'm horrible at snapping my fingers. I've kind of learned how to do it with my right hand, but not very loudly, and never with my left hand.

I don't like Disney Land, which might make me some sort of heathen to a lot of Californians. Perhaps it's because I didn't grow up with it, but that place kind of creeps me out -- the rampant consumerism and commercialism of it gives me the heebie-jeebies.

I fantasize about being a housespouse (i.e. a housewife) and raising a family, but seriously doubt that my dream will ever come to fruition.

Yes, I'm always this weird, even when there's nobody around to see it.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
... if you want to ride bikes together.

... if you think there's a possibility of us becoming BFF's.

... if you are really into femme people with penises who are comfortable keeping their penises.

... if you are passionate advocate of feminism and anti-racism.

... if you got giddy with excitement when you first heard that Neil deGrasse Tyson was remaking and updating Carl Sagan's Cosmos.

... if you are looking for something other than a fuck-buddy. This could be either a romantic or platonic relationship, but I'm so very tired of fuck-buddies. I am only interested in forming new personal relationships which involve the potential for a certain level of depth, and are not based around sex.

... if you feel that your purpose on this Earth is to make it a better place, and not just to hedonistically enjoy as much as possible. It's important to embrace a certain level of pleasure in your everyday life, but I'm not interested in befriending people who view it as their only or primary goal.

... if you are looking for a friend to make art along side.

... if you will let me be the little/inside spoon, despite the fact that I'm six feet tall.

... if you are new in The Bay, and want suggestions for things to do in the queer or kinky communities. I have gained a lot of insight into both since I've been here. We don't even have to hang out; I will willingly volunteer this information to you over email because I sympathize with being new in town.

... if you want to attempt the list of thirty-six questions with me, which supposedly all but guarantee that two strangers asking them of each other will fall in love.

I am most interested in meeting people who would rather go on a picnic, on a warm, sunny day with their best friend than receive the most expensive gift in the world. You cannot buy happiness.