I don’t like being forced to write these things. So I won’t, at least until I’m in the mood.
But I will see if it spices things up to mention that I originally came here from xkcd.

I was born in Colombia but I greatly dislike coffee, y yo no hablo español. :-p

I am bright, humorous, and a jackass - I take it that in the yearish that I barely visited, they removed the section that asked you to describe yourself in 3 adjectives?

Went back to college in the Fall of ’10, finishing my B.A. in Theatre in at the same school I got my A.A. from 7 years prior...
Diving headlong back into theatre. Taking voice lessons, going to auditions, rehearsing, rehearsing, and rehearsing.

Keeping up with the news( when the fuck did I get old?), catching up on books, movies, and videogames that have slipped by me recently... Finally got my Wii repaired, and now no time to play. Gotta catch up on like 18 months of webcomics, and fix my computer so I can give this loaner back, but I keep procrastinating on those.

Offending people?
Sex.
Whining.
Learning.
Teaching.
Computers, but not on a professional or tech geek level.

I’m short. :-(
My eyes.
I tend to talk too much; I especially babble about myself when I am nervous or happy or frustrated – feel free to cut me off.
In the winter, they may note that I’m wearing sandals.
And I’m not exactly what you would call punctual.

are hard to define. I love all of these things, and although I am picky in that I very much DON’T like certain types of books, movies, music, shows and food, I have a wide variety of tastes in each.

If you want some safe bets, though, try science fiction( not horror) and fantasy, smart comedy, pop, alt rock, ska, new age, punk, metal, Italian and American. Not by any means exhaustive.

( assuming we are not talking about basic necessities like food, water, and shelter,) are:
Love( not necessarily romantic love)
Video games
Literature
Sex
The ocean
The sky

culture, science, sex, art, gaming, men, theatre, guys, music, science fiction, and kitty cats.

...rehearsing then sleeping. School is exhausting. Come cuddle, or else try me Saturday instead. My old answer was:

...watching the Sci-Fi Channel... Make that SyFy. Ugh.
Otherwise chilling with my friends and... um. Still watching Syfy. And/or drinking. Playing games? Maybe going out to karaoke? Going to the theatre when one of us is in a show or we can score cheap tix.
Possibly going out on a date if someone is interested and able to actually follow through, which guys in Boston seem to have trouble with.
Perhaps even at the club if I somehow have money.

Alternate answer: ...the same thing we do every night, Pinky.

...is that I’m a very private person. Also I would like a utili-kilt.
...or that I am openly gay and annoyed that no one seems to notice.( On that note, we can be friends if you are closeted, but if you want to date me you should be out of the closet. If you ever introduce me as your “friend” instead of your “date”/“boyfriend”/“ex”, it’s over.)
...or that I know the rules of English-language punctuation( but I break them anyway “when it suits me”). :-p
...and that I HATE it when people fill in this section with something like “well then it wouldn’t be private” and use that as an excuse to not give any other answer.
...and I’m not a slut, I am just intimately friendly.

...you’re not shallow( i.e., you like other things about my profile more than you like my picture), especially if you’re really into short hairy geeks.

...I messaged you. Writing back’s only polite, even if not interested.

...you wrote explanations for a lot of your match question answers, and/or you have answered a lot of questions I have not. New qustions are fun, and thoughtful or sassy explanations turn me on. ;-)

...you are patient, because my life is VERY hectic and full right now. If I don’t meet you right away that does not mean I am leading you on or blowing you off, just that I am busy. If you can come meet in my area at a time good for me, that is great, but I know it’s a lot to ask, so alternatively please just hang in there until the stars align for us. I AM serious, and if I was simply uninterested in meeting I would say so.

...you’re horny and fun - but please note that while I’ll make some exceptions, I am mainly using this profile to start dating or find a( friendly or romantic) relationship, if I just want casual sex, I can get laid without OkCupid.