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44 M San Francisco, CA

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 25–45
  • Near me
  • For new friends, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body Type
Strictly vegan
Agnosticism, but not too serious about it
Graduated from law school
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Okay), Russian (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
This is a wordy profile. i don't expect anyone to take it to bed with them in place of their favorite novel. Must. Stop. Adding...

I skim the surface of many things. I'm glad that others specialize so I can generalize. I will always appreciate a cat more than just about anything else. I'm nearly impossible to offend. I was in it to save the world, but it's getting late for that now, so I'm also in it for the story.

I cultivate my sanity in a community garden. I'm on the side of the underdog, always. I eat and live healthily. I make good tofu scrambles and hash browns. I am growing, kale, kale, and more kale. (And tomatoes, radishes, beans, beets, carrots, lettuce, chard, raspberries...) I love efficiency in all things.

I have a primary partner who is on here too. We're open/non-monogamous.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Overextending myself; collecting my people -- absurdists, dada-ists, vaudevillians, revolutionaries, sad clowns, jesters, and brooding types, mainly. Over-eating almonds. Procrastinating and getting all the second most important things done. Slowly writing the great unAmerican novel. Adding another New Years resolution to the pile of unrealized ones (this year, to concentrate on reading only books authored by friends). Making, breaking, and renewing those resolutions (e.g standing up straight and not eating into the leftovers). Preparing to launch a thousand ships.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Everything except sky diving, hot dog eating contests, standardized tests, sales and marketing, marketing and sales, going to sleep, waking up, krumping, drawing faces, saying no, and blowing bubbles with mouthwash. Or more accurately, I'm bad at not blowing bubbles with mouthwash.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm on the phone. (Not proud.)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
A. Books

Everything by Edward Abbey (except Good News), Paul Theroux, and Henry David Thoreau, Hesse, Vonnegut, and Frantzen's Corrections

B. Movies

Save the Green Planet, Reds, Mosquito Coast, Happiness, White Cat Black Cat, 12 Angry Men, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (i.e. the original; definitely not the sequel); 12 Monkeys, Fisher King, Equinox, Urbania, Big Lebowski, Miller's Crossing, Paris is Burning, Sex Lies and Videotape, Quiz Show, Exotica, Glengarry Glenross, Boogie Nights, Adaptation, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Tape, The Revolution Will Not be Televised, The Jerk, The Hunger, Dr. Zhivago, Lawrence of Arabia, Monster's Ball, His Girl Friday, Gosford Park, Big Fish (minus the horrible, summarizing narration at the end), Memento, The Grinch, Amelie, City of Lost Children, Hamburger Hill, JFK, Empire of the Sun, Schindler's List, Clockwork Orange, What's Eating Gilbert Grape, Waiting for Guffman, Empire Strikes Back (the only sufficiently dark, not muppetty, non-sappy Star Wars film), the original Muppet Movie (because there is a place for muppets -- in a muppets film), the English Patient, Das Boot, Saddest Music in the World, Napolean Dynamite, Kinsey, Gods and Monsters, Almost Famous, The Wind That Shakes the Barley, The Lives of Others, Midnight Run, Foul Play, Slumdog Millionaire, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Wonder Boys, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Bruno (except for the fact that he repeatedly branded the head of an Islamic charity a terrorist, seriously disrupting the family man's life, because he, Sacha Baron Cohen, is a Zionist, racist puke who makes no distinction; otherwise, the movie was hilarious); Bronson; Brief Interviews With Hideous Men, Americathon, Some Like It Hot, the Apartment, the Last of the Red Hot Lovers, Breakfast at Tiffany's (minus Mickey Rooney playing a Chinese man - awful), Babe: Pig in the City (Mickey Rooney was a lot better in this one).

C. Shows

Game of Thrones, Homeland, Pawn Stars (Antique Roadshow with an edge); South Park (of course); Colbert (comic genius); Rachel Maddow (brilliant and accessible and an actual human being); Arrested Development; Family Guy; The Simpsons; Reno 911; I Love Lucy; The Honeymooners; Curb Your Enthusiasm; and everything modern marvely, mega-disastery, or food-techy on the History Channel.

D. Music

The Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players, Clash, Patti Smith, Elvis Costello, The Gun Club, Nick Cave, Wolfgang Press, Eric Satie, Beethoven, Mendelssohn, Chopin, Deerhoof, Neutral Milk Hotel, Tilly and the Wall, Jonathan Richman, Tom Waits, Devo, Morphine, Danny Dollinger, Dana Lyons, Casey Neil, Devotchka, the Black Keys, Edward Sharpe and the Magnet Zeros, Nina Simone, Nina Simone, Nina Simone

E. Food

Vegan, Vietnamese, Thai, Indian, Japanese, Middle Eastern (emphasis on whole, organic, and garden fresh; little by little, I'm not a junk food vegan any more). Another recurring resolution: Eat smaller quantities of healthier food more slowly.

F. Added Category: Best Advice

"Don't disobey authority, disregard it."
-- Amos Tuckahoe, a houseless man in Berkeley, circa 1990

"Don't bug, and don't be bugged."
-- Matt Stewart, my residence hall adviser in college.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
dark chocolate
pressure cooker (12 minute rice)
cobbled alleys
a good sideshow or revue
sock puppets
hot springs
Hardly Strictly Bluegrass
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
whether there is a rent-a-tiger service for OKC profile pics, and if not then whether I should cash in;
what to prioritize, or whether not to waste time prioritizing; being effective;
being efficient;
whether it is more ecologically conscious to dry the cast iron by flame or paper towel or a little of both;
why fire engines carry wooden ladders;
how prepositions after words dramatically change the meaning (i.e. run off, run over, run up, run into, run around);
the pizza slice in your hand (or at least the crust; I'm vampishly vegan).
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
working late, eating second dinner, eating third dinner, setting out for yet another punk house party much like the last. Ideally, writing in a dark bar.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I can't sit up straight. I slide down chairs, or gnarl myself up in them, pressing my feet and knees against tables, walls, or the seat in front of me.

My mouth is not properly engineered to eat soup. I can't do so without dribbling it on my chin or biting the spoon.

I watch the History Channel more than I read for pleasure.

I put up notes and take them down before other people have a chance to read them. Sometimes I leave them up.

I organize my books on separate read and haven't read shelves, so the unread ones will stare back at me and guilt trip me just a little. I'm thinking of glueing googly eyes to their spines. (Eyes on spines? What?)

It irritates me that somewhere during my life, the standard method for returning change went from putting it in your palm under the bills to letting it surf around precariously on top of of them. I want to "change" that back.

I can't keep up with my own life. Sometimes it feels like a game of whack-a-mole. As soon as I put down one pile of things, another pops up. Lately, it feels like the end stage of Tetris. It doesn't matter how great an organizational genius I am; the pieces are falling too fast.

I don't know the answer to the inside-out glove question. It seems like a trick.

My IM is totally turned on.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're creative, irreverent, and a little warped.

But not if you: are posed in, on, or near a car (especially a red sporty one or a convertible) -- unless, e.g., you're a mechanic or race; belong to a kneejerk positivity cult (you can be happy without acting like a greeter at Appleby's); just played any number of holes of golf and didn't shoot yourself or one of your fellow golfers; feel compelled to say "go _____ (insert name of team)" when you state where you're from; your only concept of politics is rooting for your home team of multi-millionaire sports heroes (it's OK to root; just have some real politics, or well-considered anti-politics); compare yourself to a wine; are racist, homophobic, transphobic, heterosexist, or xenophobic; think the photo of you tripping over the curb, breaking a heel, tipping a glass, daiquiri spraying out of your nostrils is the funniest thing in the world, because it's not; believe in a benevolent-cum-wrathful sky god; stand on fastidious rules of decorum; or make homeless people feel bad for asking for change.

Are you the only person who knows everything about the brown recluse spider, and you've devoted your life to rehabilitating its good name? Can you juggle while skateboarding? Did you develop a new bicycle-borne martial arts? Is it a no-brainer for you that our penal justice system is barbaric? Have you given a DIY tutorial in a trade art? Do you stay up all night writing unpublished essays about the disappearance of public space? Do you believe Jesus was a mushroom? Are you tough but tender? A little skittish and uncertain? Self-reliant but still dependent on others? Captain of your own ship? Misanthropic but only because your high expectations for humankind have been constantly beggared? Maladjusted but making your way in the world nonetheless? Do borders and passports make you sad/mad? Are you fascinated by pigeons and their role in the urban ecology? Do you believe that the jester is the apex of human evolution? Are you breathless to talk about it and want to evangelize? Knock, knock... There's something interesting going on in there, I know it.

All of that said, I'm not looking for a serious or immersion relationship. Why then am I on here? I can still make connections with people. Once I let you in, you're in. And because why quash this perfectly adequate profile? I like trying to make my computer talk back to me in the guise of enchanting strangers. I am still compelled by the occasional stranger danger. Strangers, I'm sure you'll agree, are sometimes a great place to hide.