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ADomNamedMark

50 M Stanton, CA

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 25–60
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Sep 15
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Black
Height
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body Type
A little extra
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Agnosticism, but not too serious about it
Sign
Leo
Education
Graduated from high school
Job
Technology
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Has kids
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
WARNING LONG RAW NON-FICTITIOUS PROFILE BELOW!!!

Most of you will not be able to understand nor handle the raw and pure honesty of my profile... That is OK. For those that do and can Say Hi I will take it from there!

Hello all my friends and lookee-loo's, I have No Money..... HA HA HA HA WOW look how many of you ran away from that line... All the better I want to be around those that aren't money driven. I just started work ... and in December I will return to school... So I will have little time for time wasters! I will make time for someone who really wants to be with me and in my life. all others will be just that all others. Don't waste my time I won't waste yours.

Saw this on another profile and liked it. So, I hope "You are inter-racially inclined"

If you see that I added you to my favorites or starred you, it means I would like you to say hi.

I live Orange County, California (OC), Lets start off with saying right up front most of you when you read this will say no that's not what I am looking for, some of you will be repulsed (which I think is funny, I will explain that farther down), some of you will call me a freak (Yea!!! I like that label and am very proud if it!!!) and some of you will be curious but too chicken to ask or talk about it.
I am on here for a myriad of reasons... some typical some not so typical... but just because I walk to the beat of a different drum doesn't mean I want you to... yes I want to date... well no not really I would prefer to find a relationship that will last, but until she / they come along. Going out and having fun is in my cards too! No I am not going to try and convert you... I just prefer the company of the opposite sex to go out with...

If something happens... great, if nothing happens... great, I have no expectations. So if you think I look good or I would/could be fun to hang out and talk with say Hi... I am far from old fashion and can be rather shy so you saying hi first or after noticing I glanced/read your profile is the ideal way for me to reply back... take a chance. I am sure you will be pleasantly surprised, not to mention have someone who won't judge you on anything you say or do.

But I digress, lets get the normal/vanilla (as I call it) stuff out of the way!
Am I funny? I think so because, I have made many laugh to tears (Hmmm, Tears are sexy... Oops! that doesn't belong in this section!)
I am not typical by most standards but then again if I was how boring would that be. I like the beach just not during the day, If you haven't noticed ( My apologies to the visually impaired and handicapped) I'm black and the last thing I need is a tan! And no sunblock does not help... trust me on this one! I love dive bars, pubs and pool halls. While I like to Dance I am not a fan of clubs. The reason for that is in the past I have done many things for work and Bouncing and Cooling was one of them, and every time I seem to go to a club I end up in Bouncer/Cooler mode and spend more time watching who to watch out for than I do having fun, since that is what I am supposed to do when I am with you right? I am supposed to be the man and your safety while with me is something I take seriously... even when we are having fun. I am the Chivalrous Gentleman (most of the time (it does slip my mind from time to time) ie. if you smoke I will light your cigarette ( Oh Ladies so you know... if a guy lights you smoke never cover the flame because it is his responsibility to see and know when it is lit he should take it away once it is lit. If you cover it then he can't see it.), when we are walking across the street you should always be on the side of me that is opposite traffic, I will get your car and most doors (Once again ladies... when a guy opens your car door, Be the lady and hit the unlock or reach over and unlock his door while he is walking around... if the door are unlocked by remote reach over and pull the handle for him to get it... This chivalry thing has rules that go both ways).

My other hobbies I like pool both swimming and table (billiards), darts, bowling, people watching, shopping yes I like to shop and I promise you I can shop rings around most of you and could dress most of you quite well... I have a few female friends that take me with them when they shop so they can get an honest point of view from a mans perspective and if they tell me what their goal is for the outfit or event I will make sure you turn heads.

I am a no nonsense logical kind of guy that is full of emotion. I am down to earth respectful (don't miss understand my kindness and me being a gentleman as a sign of weakness though. I speak my mind and will quickly put you in your place should you step out of it...) I only used to be the nice guy... Now I am the smart one. My favorite food is Italian, I like spicy food not hot food.

I Pride myself on my honesty... why would I need to lie to you or anyone else... if I screw up I will own up to it... I expect you to be the same way... if I am wrong I will admit I am/was wrong.

I am not your typical guy, I have done more and lived more than most my age but in my heart I am still a big kid.
I am spontaneous but don't like surprises, I am complex but my daily goal in life is simplicity, I have been know to be romantic but Nahhhh who wants a romantic man, I like most music but rap, country western (I love country not country western). I realized a few weeks ago I have never been to a museum, opera nor a zoo... I would like to change that.

Now see I am normal... well kinda, ask yourself these questions and be honest with the answers because these questions are for you not anyone else.
have you ever been blindfolded... did you like it?
Have you ever had a SO/BF/Lover pull your hair... did you like it?
Has a SO/BF/Lover smacked/spanked you... did you like it?
Have you ever gotten aggressive or rough during sex... did you like it?
Have you ever been restrained or tied up... did you like it?
have you ever used sex toys... did you like it?
... I could keep going because this list is long... and most of you have done it, do it, or want to, some of you even like it enough to keep doing it... Well guess what your Kinky! you have practiced some form of BDSM.

Now having brought those terms up here is the rest of me that blends in (seamlessly I might add) to the above!

I am on OKCupid to find a BDSM AND Poly friendly or compatible (A.K.A kinky submissive or slave mindset) woman (and just because you are submissive or slave minded DOES NOT mean you are weak or worthless or have low self esteem... Some of the strongest and most stable women I know are submissive!!! so for all you that think otherwise... Don't hate those that can do and be just what their heart, mind and body desire.) I am waiting and searching for the elusive woman or women (Notice I said woman/women not girl) who is active or wishing to be active in a Real life physical D/s type relationship (No cyber, no online, if I type to you more than I can touch you it/we will not happen)... if you have a low sex drive or you can take or leave sex I am not interested. If you are looking for a take charge kinda man... that is me. If you not kinky I am not for you. no men and I must be honest and frank up front, no women of color... Don't hate, it is my choice. I am looking for someone that wants to be with me in real life in a real relationship both in and out of the bedroom in both the D/s Lifestyle and the Vanilla world. There are plays I want to see, concerts I want to go to and many happy times just being happy in being with each other.. I would prefer you be a masochist if you are not then be Poly and be accepting of us finding one that is. I am looking for someone that wants to be active in the community and someone that wants to enjoy all that BDSM can offer.
I am also polyamorous and have been most of my life just never knew there was a name for it. I am not poly for sexual reasons but more because of the complex person that I am... Don't understand (Don't pre-judge) take a moment and talk to me and you might touch the tip of who I am... LOL I am veering off course... I would like you to be poly or poly friendly as well or we will not work.

I am a 46yr old Black Dominant male... LOL I would think the pic would make that obvious... I have a high sex drive and am happy being a Sadist for the right masochist or a sensual player for those who are not into pain. I have a Daddy Dom mentality and I am old and wise enough to know what I like and want when I see or read it... you be the same. I am not into sending a bunch of emails back and forth... I prefer the phone or face to face when communicating. I am looking for communication, honesty, common sense, truthfulness, and obedience... if you are not able to do all of the previous don't waste my time or yours.

There is so much more that I could write but I think you need to ask if you truly want to know.

Formerly SirDiscreteOne
(Google that if you you want to know more)
A Dom Named Mark
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
What am I doing with my life... Hmmm wow that is a good question. I know what I want and how to get there but the road there has been paved with may detours and obstacles, My main goal in life is simplicity... because life itself is a complicated path that in reality leads to an unknown destination.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
LOL this could be a long list. But on the Vanilla side of things I love to play pool, Darts, Bowl, shop, drive around to nowhere... Oh what am I good at right... I am good and knowing who and what I am and am completely comfortable in my own skin regardless what everyone else thinks or says. I am great at computers and computer networks... yeah yeah I am a geek so what LOL. I am superb at helping people figure out most things especially when it involves them.

I am not married/attached or seeing anyone (I do have a fwb) nor do I cheat. I am on the other hand Polyamourous but it is not completely for sexual purposes, it is mostly due to the complexity of what makes me, me.

* I am a Dominant!
* I am complex, yet simple.
* I am confident, yet humble.
* I am gentle, yet Sadistic.
* I am a Sadist, yet sensual.
* I am Loving, yet Cruel.
* I am demanding, yet caring.
* I am a Dirty Old Man (Proverbial), yet a Gentleman.
* I am aggressive, yet shy.
* I am wise, yet seek knowledge.
* I am a teacher of life, yet ever its' student
* I am a Man, yet understanding (sounds odd to say but true)
* I am Dominant, yet so much more.
* I am honest, You may not nor have to believe this but I DO!!!*

>There is so much more of and about me that could be said and those of you who know and have met me know this as fact.
Should or if you want to know just ask.

And My Mantra. Be responsible for the consequences of your actions and words, Accept the outcome of that responsibility whether it be good or bad. it happens(ed) through your involvement
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That is easy... they notice I am black... then depending on where they are standing that I either am crazy and talking to my self or that I almost always have a bluetooth in my ear. some say my smile, some say my butt, most say my personality. you might also notice that I am the one who played all the country in the Jukebox... and I am singing loudly (and on key ) to all the lyrics... like they say every song tells a story.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Oh you have got to be kidding this list would be so long people would quit reading... but SciFi, The BBC channel, The Voice, KTLA Morning News, Country (not Country Western.), Dr Who, cooking, anything written by Piers Anthony,tech manuals ( yeah I know this is a weird one),all movie genres but war - horror- and westerns,

BIG BONUS POINTS if you play Magic The Gathering... or you want to learn how to play

ok I am gonna stop there but suffice to say it is a very very very very very very looooooooooooooong list
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I will have to think about this one
LOL Update
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Still thinking
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I am always thinking ... My latest thought process is centered pleasantly how many Poly-amorous people are here on OKC. Which is good and gives me hope that what I seek is here. I also spend a great deal of time thinking why do people judge someone with out actually taking a moment of time to talk to someone before passing judgment... LOL Their Loss!!!

My Mantra. Be responsible for the consequences of your actions and words, Accept the outcome of that responsibility whether it be good or bad. it happens(ed) through your involvement
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
home alone
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I am the TMI King don't ask what you dont want to know, because I won't lie and don't expect you to either... Honesty is the best policy... See my mantra in (Things I am really good at).

Kenova's Writing31M (Philadelphia, Pennsylvania)
Kenova from fl has written something that needs to be read by all This is reposted with his permission.

10 things a Dominant needs from a submissive
Note | 500 Comments · 1,539 Love It |6 days ago
The best way I’ve heard submission described was at M/s conference in 08. Submission is not following your Master. It is preceding him, clearing the path, and reporting back to him on any pitfalls or problems you see ahead. It is trusting him, to guide and navigate, to keep you safe.
The most common way I’ve heard Dominance described uses words that I wouldn’t use to describe a dog. Especially today – there are a LOT of anti-Dominant posts, and a lot of “Submissives Deserve XYZ” posts. But one thing I’ve almost never heard…what do Dominants deserve? Where is our "10" list?
1. Know your Responsibilities.
Dominants have responsibilities. We hear a LOT about that in our community. We have the responsibility to be forgiving and understanding. We have the responsibility to be strong and independent. We have the responsibility to be wise and patient, and to be controlled and in control of ourselves and our partners. We have to accept accountability for whatever happens with the submissive. We have the responsibility to take responsibility (and accountability) for both our actions, and (often) our submissives’ actions.
Well, submissive responsibilities exist too. (No, not “suck my dick daily” kinds of responsibilities. Those are play rules, or relationship kinks.) Responsibilities in submission are supposed to include communication with your Dominant. Having patience with the relationship. Working to build trust with your partner. And having realistic expectations of the relationship, while understanding the meaning of discretion when things need work. You know…all the stuff below?
2. Remember Patience?
Patience is a virtue, virtue is a grace, and grace is a little girl…
When you start dating someone – you don’t ask them to marry you the first week out. Nor the first month, or (hopefully) the first year. So why are you in a rush to be “collared” immediately? Why is there this pressure to invent a myriad variety of “collars” to validate every single status change in the relationship? Date. Hang out. Talk.
The same with fetishes. I understand you are a HUGE anal slut. But let’s build up to that. Yes, I can probably put together a scene with 23 different ass sensation toys, and a half dozen different positions, with FancyRopeWork (tm). But why? Let’s share other experiences. Let’s learn each other before moving into what should be a permanent relationship.
It takes time before a dominant becomes YOUR Master. It takes time for us to learn your little idiosyncrasies. It takes experience to recognize your body language, and to be able to intuit your fears and your feelings. There will be false starts, and stops, and pitfalls, and awkward situations. If you actually want a relationship with your Dominant…be realistic about it. (see #3)
Expecting us to immediately rock your world...it happens sometimes. But most of the time, it takes time and effort before we know you well enough to really rock out.
3. Have Realistic Expectations.
You aren't perfect? Well, neither am We. We’re learning every day. A good Dominant (one who will eventually be worthy of the title “Master”) is constantly working on those imperfections, through self-help, personal exploration, educational classes, and reading. Expecting a 29 year old to pay for all your dates, have a fully equipped dungeon, be the perfect boyfriend, help pay your rent when you’re behind, god-like lover, and be a Master-of-All-Toys is, frankly, naive.
It takes a lot of work to build a relationship - and that relationship has to be built from both ends. We understand that you are sacrificing a lot when you surrender your body - often, so are we (see #9). We are as giving as we can be of our time, our money, and our emotions. It hurts us just as much when we're dropped, dumped, manipulated or lied to. But, you may have noticed, we don’t have “Dominant support” groups, by and large. So while you’re risking more of your body and heart on the front end – we’re risking a hell of a lot of our soul and our mind on the back end.
If we’re with you, and making an honest effort…respect that. We respect you (even when we’re calling you cunts while whipping your ass) for your ability to take pain and suffering and then turn it into something amazing. We recognize your talents and efforts. Please, recognize ours.
4. Consistency.
It’s a real roller coaster ride to have a submissive who is one person in the morning, another at night, and a complete third when she skips her meds (see #7). And roller coasters are fun…but they don’t make for great daily activities.
We’re going to do the best we can to enforce the rules consistently. To respond to your needs as much as we can, when we can. To be the same Dominant on Monday that we are Saturday night. What we ask in return? The same thing from you. Make the effort (see #9) to follow those rules. Don’t give us the A#1 effort Saturday night at the party, and then just coast on the relationship for the rest of the week.
There’s something to be said for a sub who is the same Monday through Sunday in her level of devotion, her level of commitment, and her level of caring. We honestly don’t care if that level is low, medium, high, or barely existent. We’ll work with that – that’s what a Dominant does. We motivate, we train, and we guide. But if you’re giving us a different persona and a different level of submission every other day… the greatest Master in the scene couldn’t deal with that 24/7. Neither can we.
5. Discretion within the relationship.
Yeah, so. Going online and chatting in a slaves group, or on , about how your Master doesn't scratch your itch, or how you're so disappointed he didn't do SexyMoveA#1 last night? That's not cool. We don't (believe it or not) go around gossiping with every Dominant we know about how tight your ass was last night, or how funny you looked sobbing after an emotional edge play scene. Please have the same courtesy - don't assume that just because you're the submissive, you can talk about anything in our relationship that you want to and call it "submissive sharing". If you have a genuine issue in the relationship - we should be the first person you talk to about it. Not your online friends. See #10 about that.
This is not an endorsement of abuse. If you are being abused (physically, emotionally, financially, psychologically, sexually, etc.), for the love of God, go to your local shelter. Your nearest victim advocate. Or the closest police station.
But please bear in mind – below that particular level? Relationships will always have problems…talking to your partner solves a LOT of them.
6. Trust. (No really, actual trust, not "earn it or else" trust)
No, this doesn’t mean trust me immediately from word one. That would be insane.
But this ties in with #8 and #9. You’ve heard the old adage “trust takes time”? Well, trust also takes effort. And communication (see #10). From both parties. Trust is a two way street. If your Dominant has to constantly prove that he’s worthy of your trust, then why are you with him?
I was once with a woman who had me convinced that it was a Dominant’s job to constantly be earning and re-earning trust. I heard the mantra of “a Master /earns/ trust” at least once a day. The entire relationship was one long marathon of constant effort to “earn” her trust by doing everything she wanted, and never disagreeing with her. It took a slap ‘round the head and shoulders by a senior Dominant and very trusted friend before I realized that I was being used.
7. Sanity.
This is a no brainer. But unfortunately, it rarely gets spoken of in our lifestyle. If you have depression, bi-polar, manic episodes, or have been described by previous friends, dominants or family members as a "wild and crazy" type...the odds are that you, in fact, need therapy. Possibly medication. There’s no shame in that – a HUGE percentage of people in this modern world have psychological issues that need to be addressed with pills or therapy. Please seek it BEFORE approaching a dominant. We, in return, will attempt to do the same for our own issues. Entering deeply emotional and effort-related relationships should be done AFTER the mental health issues are addressed and under control.
8. Stop Recycling the Past.
Your last Dominant hurt you. Or didn't measure up. I understand that, personally. My last submissive didn't either (see #7). But that said...this is us, starting fresh. I certainly want to know if your last Dom was abusive, hurtful, or cruel. You need to know if my last submissive was, too. That's part of the whole "communication skills" thing in #10 and it will affect how we interact. I do NOT, however, need to hear a daily address list of the A-Z of everything you ever disliked about him...or a weekly update on how I compare to him. Considering that I probably don't do any of the former, and don't care about the latter. This is a new relationship. You wouldn't enjoy me constantly comparing you, out loud, to my last girl. You wouldn't enjoy an intimate partner constantly comparing you to their last lover. I don't enjoy it either. Keep the past, in the past.
9. Honest Effort and Understanding.
You want us to know how hard submission is? Well, we want you to know how hard Domination is. We have to think in three dimensions about the emotional and psychological impact of everything from our tone of voice to our tools, from our clothes and cologne to our cock and cunt hair. It's exhausting at times, and just like submissives...sometimes we burn out. Sometimes we're too tired to be SparkleMasterLeatherDom/me. And just like we are expected (by our Dominant brothers and sisters, if not by our submissives) to be consistently understanding and supportive of slaves rights and feelings...we deserve a little consideration ourselves.
10. Communication Skills.
Domination AND submission. Master AND slave. Top AND bottom. Please note the "and". You AND me. Kenova AND Cassie. Snowy AND Toy. The "and"? That has a lot of meaning. It means that just as much as you expect us, the Dominants, to communicate with you about your training and performance...we expect the same. We deserve the same. If you have concerns - you need to talk to us, not post it on . If you feel hurt, you need to sit down and have a heart-to-heart with your Dom, not slam them to all of your friends. If you honestly believe that your Dom has problems? Talk to them about it. Be a big girl/boy/boi/slave/slut/whore/bottom/queer/toy/androgyne.
But if you can't communicate at least as well as you expect your Dominant to communicate to you? If you aren’t making the honest effort (see #9) to become a better communicator? Then you're the problem, not the Dom.

Kenova's Writing31M (Philadelphia, Pennsylvania)
Kenova from fl has wrote this, it needs to be read by all. This is reposted with his permission.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Saw this on another profile and liked it "You are inter-racially inclined"

BIG BONUS POINTS if you play Magic The Gathering... or you want to learn how to play
you have read my whole profile not just looked at my pics (Oh I am much better looking in real life).
you really want an activity partner, someone to go out with, someone to come home to, a relationship that is real and not some white picket fence fantasy.
I know I am not everyone's cup of tea but I have seen and read profile on here of many of you who I feel are compatible. In reading your complete profiles I have noticed alot of your personality sections say "Kinky", what are you waiting for (you will not find one as Kinky but down to earth and can fit in in any location or occasion) If you see I added you to my favorites it means I am interested!!! Say Hi you may just be surprised how much fun we could have. If you are real, not into games, know what you want, or maybe you need information that can help you grow. you like what you see and read. If you really want to meet even if just for coffee, conversation and or a bite (to eat silly) unless you like to be bit ~wink~ ~wink~ send me a message or wink .. Just say something Damn it. Yes that means I want you to make the first move