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PowerExchanges

42 M Burlingame, CA

I’m looking for

  • Women who like men
  • Ages 18–99
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 12:22am
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
A little extra
Diet
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism, and somewhat serious about it
Sign
Libra, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Job
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Mostly non-monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Speaks
English

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Kinky SWM in search of adventure, experiences and connections.

My first glimpse into BDSM world occurred when I was in college and stumbled upon Anne Rice’s ‘Sleeping Beauty’ series. Since I loved her vampire novels I picked up the first one without really understanding what it was really about and it opened my eyes to things I hadn’t ever given a moment’s thought to. I imagine that many of you have read the series and might know what I mean.

Over the years I researched & fantasized more & more (the arrival of the internet helped) while also reading novels like ‘The Story of O’ and ‘Exit to Eden’, books so prominent they could almost be considered mainstream.

I incorporated aspects of the lifestyle into my relationships but was also wary about pushing too far, scaring her off. Spanking is barely considered kinky these days so that sometimes worked out but I also increasingly found myself increasingly unsatisfied.

My first “real” and prolonged experience with a power exchange happened when I became involved with a woman 21 years my senior. She was both nurturing & kind but also firm, both loving and mildly sadistic at the same time. Her dominance was one that I responded to very well, probably in part because I liked and respected her in addition to the Dominant/Submissive dynamic.

She eventually moved out of the area due to work but we’re still friends and keep in touch, I’ll always be grateful to her for teaching me so much in such a affectionate way.

Since then I've been exclusively dominant in my relationships but I'm open to whichever dynamic feels natural.

I’m a fairly positive person and that’s reflected in both my disposition and the areas of the lifestyle that appeal to me. I love spanking but I’m not a sadomasochist or a masochist, the appeal for me is in the submission, the exposure; I have no interest in inflicting heavy pain and I'm a poor match for a sub who needs intense impact play. I also like affection and enjoy holding and caressing in addition to spanking.

If your primary focus is on intense pain or heavy humiliation we'll be a poor romantic match. There are natural elements of power exchanges that inevitably lead to humiliation but name calling and cruelty are not ones I enjoy.

On a side note, I am not a chauvinist and in fact consider myself a feminist. I don't feel that power exchanges should be based on gender and instead are based on the preferences and comfort levels of the people involved.

On the non-kink front:
I'm pleasant, funny, easy to get along with and well read (along with very modest!) and I'd like to find a primary but non-traditional relationship. I want to build trust and share the jokes and experiences that only develop over time. At the same time I consider myself monogamish and believe that any healthy relationship has a certain amount of openness attached. Honesty is something I prize considering that lying & sneakiness leaves everybody involved feeling bad and I want you to feel that you can tell me anything without being judged.

I enjoy drinks with friends at least weekly and I'm fortunate to have so many longtime friends and family still in the area. Politically I'm very liberal and would be a poor match for a conservative. I play on a softball team once a week and while I wouldn't consider myself a star athlete I am somewhat athletic. Love long walks around town and at the same time have zero interest in hiking.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Besides trolling for kink and new experiences on OkCupid?

I worked in the non-profit field for the past 11 years for an organization that often rewarded me spiritually and sometimes frustrated me to no end (many of you who have worked for non-profits can surely empathize).

Currently I'm doing the marketing for a local real estate team and it's quite the contrast.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Instantly producing snarky one liners.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My halo.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
On the kink front (seems appropriate) Secretary, The Story of O, The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty, Exit to Eden, Literotica.

NOT a fan of Fifty Shades of Grey. Getting past the narrative I just couldn't get past a virgin experiencing her first sexual interactions in a D/s setting. It felt exploitative and sleazy.

Richard Russo has recently taken over the title of my favorite author. Loved 'Straight Man', 'Empire Falls', 'Bridge of Sighs', 'Nobody's Fool' and 'The Risk Pool'.

Some of my other favorite authors would include Wally Lamb, Michael Chabon, Larry McMurtrey, Anne Rice, Murakami, Dumas, Twain, Fitzgerald, Nick Hornby, Dennis Lehane, Michael Connelly, John Irving, Leon Uris, Walter Mosley. 'I Know This Much Is True' by Wally Lamb is probably my favorite book ever, or at least the one that touched me the most. Loved 'The Master and Margarita'.

Movies would include The Sting, Say Anything, Fletch, Bull Durham, L.A. Confidential, A Fish Called Wanda, Casablanca, Heathers, Field of Dreams, Secretary, Stand By Me, About a Boy, Office Space and High Fidelity. Really enjoyed American Hustle, Blue Is the Warmest Color and The Spectacular Now from 2013.

Saw Boyhood this past weekend at The Embarcadero and it was amazing.

My favorite TV shows: Mad Men, Justified, Parks and Recreation, The Walking Dead, The League, Louie, True Detective , The West Wing, Arrested Development, Lost, Breaking Bad, Dexter and Orphan Black.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Corrective lenses, affection, books, good friends, family & an internet connection. I know the last choice is lame and while I certainly could live without the internet I'd rather not.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
the following keywords: dominant submissive bdsm roleplay D/s erotic submit slave naked spank sex restrained sub exhibit spanking Dom spankings sex collar bondage restrain exhibition erotica fetlife collarme nude discipline modification inspection.

So many in the kink world are obsessed with titles and strict protocol. Personally, I don't answer to " Master " " Sir " " Daddy " or any title and instead prefer the use of my first name.

Also how intolerant the current Republican party has become and reminding myself to show tolerance myself towards these people that I increasingly regard as alien life forms.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I don't get all that jazzed about Friday night either way so I'm probably reading a book or watching a movie or grabbing drinks with friends or perhaps even a combination of those activities.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Didn't we cover that throughout this rather lengthy profile?

Outside of my sex life, though, I don't have a car, which is very rare in the Bay Area.

I've also had discussions with friends about sweeping, very stirring soundtracks on movies and TV (Lost comes to mind). I'm all in favor of media that provokes a strong reaction and have zero objection to being shamelessly manipulated by a skilled director.

I strongly dislike reality TV, just about hate it, but I really enjoy 'Comic Book Men' on AMC.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
The fact that you opened this profile in the first place and likely found me through the keywords or the quite transparent username is a good indication that you should contact me.

Or if you even read the whole profile in the first place, I realize that it's quite lengthy.

I have another, more vanilla profile on OkCupid that has additional pictures, including a number with my entire face as opposed to the side profile here. If we begin a dialogue I'll direct you to it right off the bat.