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28 M Saint Charles, MO

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 23–30
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 11:35pm
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body Type
A little extra
Mostly anything
Christianity, but not too serious about it
Leo, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Rather not say
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
English (Fluently), French (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
While I normally have no issue with people and things and places (and all other categories in 20 Questions), I do have a general dissatisfaction with myself and society and our intermingling, so much so I believe there's a real chance I might exist in a Daniel Clowes work. I'm struggling between being a part of this big, crazy, interconnected modern world, or giving it all the finger by living isolated in a converted shipping container somewhere in the woods. I'm stuck between being the person I want to be, the person I am, and an idealized form that actually contributes to society (or at the very least doesn't participate in its downwards spiral.)

On any given day, I'm blindsided with a one-two punch of depression, anxiety, misanthropy and shame. I have literally no idea what's going to happen to me, or even if I have a choice in the matter. It makes things weird, and I honestly have no idea how to get myself out of this hole. I'm seeing a shrink, I'm taking very expensive meds (thank you American healthcare system), but its all a quick-fix for a long-term problem. Basically, it's just this overwhelming cloud of apathy and inferiority that surrounds me at all times. I don't want to go to parties, I don't want to follow sports, I don't want go outdoors, I just want to lie on my couch, drink a Vanilla Coke and switch back and forth between my Twitter, Facebook and Tumblr until I realize the day's gone, because that's literally the only thing I feel like doing.

And worse than anything, as much as I enjoy *using* a computer, that's the extent of my patience with these machines. I'm no luddite, I just have zero interest in learning any form of programming, which really sticks in my craw because every single article I've come across in the past four years puts it on par with addition and subtraction. So even though I pride myself on my abilities and intelligence and skills, they're all completely invalidated by random strangers who have unanimously declared themselves better than me because they had the patience to learn Javascript and PHP.

But if we're going to discuss deficiencies, let's start with the physical ones. I hate my hair, I hate my face, and I hate how my body occasionally decides to sprout non-cancerous moles. I have the complexion of a 14 year-old and the belly of a 50 year-old. I'm too hairy and I shave it all off every few months out of sheer frustration. The only feature I like are my eyes, and they don't even work properly (nearsighted). I fantasize everyday how much better life would be if I were Mystique from the X-Men, and I could just change myself based on my everchanging whims. I wouldn't even make myself good looking. Not an Adonis. I'd just want to look different. Different hair, different build, different height, different age, different gender, different race, I don't care. At least I would be in charge of something and maybe I could feel good about myself for two lousy seconds.

And for the sake of transparency, let's just add a few more to this brand-spanking new list of reasons you've stopped reading my profile. I can't make a phone call without going over it in my head thirteen times, and even then I stumble over thirty percent of everything that comes out my mouth. I labor over every faux pas for years. I think hostile thoughts about completely innocent people, and I genuinely worry I might be a sociopath because of it. I've never been in a relationship lasting longer than three months because I can't fucking deal with the fact that somebody might actually want to voluntarily spend time with me, and they might actually want to do something that involves social interaction beyond a text message. And I guess that's the coup de grace. I'm messed up, but I hold on hope because who knows? Maybe somebody out there is just as messed up as me.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Jesus H. P. Lovechrist, if I only knew.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Writing. It's all I have left. It's the only part of me that hasn't been completely invalidated. Even if I can't tangibly prove it, I hold onto that image of me as a writer. Because it's really the only thing that's still keeping me going.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Whether or not I am on fire.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Current Top Twenties:

Writers: Dave Barry, Kurt Vonnegut, Ray Bradbury, J.D. Salinger, Daniel Clowes, David Sedaris, Bill Bryson, Raymond Chandler, Neil Gaiman, Tennessee Williams, Sarah Ruhl, Charles Bukowski, Geoff Johns, Franz Kafka, Anton Chekhov, Dylan Thomas, Douglas Adams, David Mitchell, Allen Ginsberg, Dashiell Hammett

Movies: Clerks, Jurassic Park, American Beauty, The Graduate, Forrest Gump, Memento, Pulp Fiction, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, The Manchurian Candidate, Apollo 13, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Back to the Future, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, The Big Lebowski, Spirited Away, Ghostbusters, The Blues Brothers, Run Lola Run, Band of Outsiders, Psycho

Bands: Barenaked Ladies, REM, They Might Be Giants, Talking Heads, Arcade Fire, Oingo Boingo, Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Beatles, Florence & The Machine, Counting Crows, Fountains of Wayne, Great Big Sea, The Who, Hole, Cake, Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, The Pogues, The Offspring, Hootie & The Blowfish, Devo
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My MP3 Player
Social Media
Streaming Sites
Creative Outlets
Offbeat Cinema
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
At what point on the path to adulthood do we abandon our childhood delights? Are they burned on a pyre, or are they saved for reclamation at a later date?

Were all those alternative bands from the 90s actually as great as I recall, or am I just ridiculously nostalgic?

Could a fleet of vikings could take down a posse of cowboys?

Why do I have such a strange fascination with TV commercials, yet accept a strong cultural jamming persona?

Where do the ducks go in the Winter?

Does internet fame count as fame?

...And at any given moment, I'm imagining a scenario regarding cryptids, mythology, legends, and/or folklore.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I like to catch Reel Late at the Tivoli.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Ask me about my zombie plan. It involves heavy machinery and constant travel. It doubles as a robot apocalypse plan.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I want a girl with a mind like a diamond
I want a girl who knows what's best
I want a girl with shoes that cut
And eyes that burn like cigarettes

I want a girl with the right allocations
Who's fast and thorough
And sharp as a tack
She's playing with her jewelry
She's putting up her hair
She's touring the facility
And picking up slack.

I want a girl with a short skirt and a looooooong jacket.