For the sake of transparency, let's just add a few more elements to this list of reasons you've probably stopped reading my profile because who really reads multiple blocky paragraphs on a dating site? I can't make a phone call without going over it in my head thirteen times, and even then I stumble over thirty percent of everything that comes out my mouth. I labor over every faux pas for years. I've never been in a relationship longer than three months because I can't fucking deal with the fact that somebody might actually want to voluntarily spend time with me, and I panic I'm not good enough for them.
I keep people at an arms length because I don't trust myself. I don't understand what people see in me, and what's more, I don't really understand what I see in other people. If I keep things light and noncommittal, it removes any pressure. I know I can up and leave at any point with no loss. I use humor and shallowness as defense mechanisms. And I'm always on defense. I don't really know why.
But I'm not entirely a lost cause; I have my good points as well. I like foreign, arthouse and classic film. I can quote any episode of The Simpsons first ten seasons. I know all about craft and microbrew beers. I'm well versed in the Marvel universe and the works of Joss Whedon. I can lead a lengthy discussion on dadaism, absurdism and associated concepts. And while this may be only sporadically useful, I'm one hell of a ringer at pub quiz events.
Really, I'm just looking for another person. Somebody who doesn't believe in bullshit and nonsense. Somebody who lives deliberately and drinks life from the fountain. Somebody who brings out my better qualities while forgiving the negative ones. And if you can rock a pair of Doc Martens while doing so, all the better.