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AKBoarder

30 M San Francisco, CA

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 21–35
  • Near me
  • For new friends

My Details

Last Online
Apr 28
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White, Other
Height
6′ 8″ (2.03m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Sign
Taurus, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Working on masters program
Job
Politics / Government
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Pets
Has dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Spanish (Okay)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
My name is Michael, but people call me Kocher. I'm a combination of everyone you hate, and everything you love. I've been told I have an addicting personality. It's true. If you suck, I'll tell you. If you're cool, I'll tell you. I like to do things in innappropriate places at innappropriate times for inappropriate durations. People who talk shit make me laugh. I make me laugh. I'm 6'8. That's tall. I like to cause trouble. I might be an adult Eddie Haskell.

I've done more in 27 years than many people do their entire lives. I live to have no regrets. I don't want to be the 45 year old middle manager wondering where my life went, where'd my youth go. I'd rather be the 45 year old seasonal worker who disappears to god knows where for the winter and always has a story to tell, a beer for a friend, and food for someone that needs it.

I've surfed in a Native village in Alaska. I've worked on political campaigns and in fast food. I've driven across the country... three times. I've driven from Anchorage to Tijuana. I've skinny dipped in 10 degree weather in the Gulf of Alaska. I've run around naked on highways. I've been to a dozen different countries including Iraq and Iceland. I've spent nights drinking myself stupid with Senators and other nights doing the same with drug dealers and learned plenty from both.

In the next year and a half I'm running a marathon in the Sahara, spending a month hosteling around Europe and trying to do another deployment with the Marine Corps. I run barefoot in the winter.

Some people think I'm gay. Some people are just jealous. Who cares about gay and straight? Don't Ask Don't Tell was the worst policy since segregation.

If it involves the water then I'm going to be involved with it. The only time I've ever lived away from the ocean I almost died. That might have been because it was Iraq but I like to think it was the ocean.

Really now, must I go on? I bet you hope not.

Did I mention that I'm 6'8?

I am fantastic, cocky, and unpredictable.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm a former Marine. I'm as liberal as they come. I'm a student. I worked for a think tank and own my own business on the side. Now I now a Labrador Retriever puppy. He is a frustrating creature, but I love him.

I snowboard in the winter and surf in the summer. I hang out in dive bars and libraries. I meet interesting people in homeless shelters and in high end lounges. I find things out about everyone that I love and I'm glad I know. I fall into love too easily and I fall out of love too hard. I'm a good listener and a fantastic storyteller.

I want to be in politics. I want to change the world. For the better, naturally, but I wouldn't mind being misunderstood in my own time if by my grandchildren's time they realize I've made things better.

I have 7 tattoos, 5 of which are literary. Yes, I read. Yes, books with words and not pictures.

The next tattoo I get will incorporate the quote "There are no second acts in American lives" from F Scott Fitzgerald
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I don't know, most things that I try. How about I talk about what I'm bad at.

I'm tall and I'm terrible at basketball.

I'm bad at being mean, and I'm empathetic to a fault. I can't stand seeing a woman cry and it drives me into a rage when men hurt women. I don't think women are fragile at all, I think I love them too much.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm tall. Again I said it. It means all anyone notices about me is my height.

I dress in bizarre clothing with mismatched colors, interesting textures, and straight fits, with the intention of getting people to stare at me. It is my armor. People are going to stare at me anyway for my height, so I might as well dress to draw attention and take back control of it.

However, when they get up close it's my eyes. I have amazing eyes(cocky, remember) and I use them to do bad things to bad girls. I've been told that I have sad eyes. I've been told I have old eyes. I just hope they keep seeing all the beauty the world has to offer.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
We Approach Our Martinis With Such High Expectations. It's a surfing book, it's a philosophy book, it's a photography book, but, most importantly, it's the book that changed my life. There is so much that can be pulled from this book, no matter how many times you read it. The stories are inspiring, the photos are intriguing, the philosophy is invigorating and the way it changes your life is orgasmic.

I listen to a lot of bad music. But that's fine, because people who judge based on musical taste deserve to be judged based on being lame.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Legs.
Friends.
Digital Camera.
Laptop.
Phone.
Fun.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How to change the world, my country, someone's life, or maybe just a change of scenery.

How to help people and find people that will help me.

My next adventure.

These words..

"A ship in the harbor is safe, but that's not what ships are built for." - Unknown

Words from -my- bible,

"I was born to suckle nipples in the maternity wards of Naples. I was born to deliver pizzas to the red light district of Amsterdam. I was born to hurl hot dogs in the garage of Farrah Fawcett's Mansion. I was born under fluorescent lighting to a doctor a little loose with his scalpel.

I was born to swing Louisville Sluggers at pinatas in the courtyards of Meixco City. I was born to plant roses in steel + girder cities suffering from draughts + national debt. I was born to twirl about the stratosphere with sights of Brazil in my stethoscope.

I was born to let loose tarantulas up the long skirts of catholic schoolgirls. I was born to silently yearn for portuguese words to describe my American feelings. I was born to rescue 17 Century queens from 21st Century Towers. I was born to drink in fiery orange sunsets over infinite South Pacific horizon lines.

I was born to dance the Lambada through the gateways of Armageddon. I was born from fertility and the promise of a post WW2 American dream. I was born to peddle cigars in the backstreets of Havana. I was born to bleed montblanc ink + perspire Pabst Blue Ribbon. I was born to walk dogs while Mick Jagger sings about strange stray cats. I was born to be a hero for an eternity, a lifetime, or maybe just a day.

I was born to die a grandiose death possibly involving heights, probably involving water, definitely involving orgasm. I was born to drink coffee colored flesh and dream third world hallucinations. I was born to be a benevolent, motorless, evil knievel of my own devising.

I was born to ultimately fall in line with ageless wisdom and allow the whole process to repeat itself." - Jamie Brisick, We Approach Our Martinis With Such High Expectations
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Drinking too much, talking too loud, dancing too crazily, and getting thrown out of bars. What are you doing? Shall we do it together?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I don't trust anyone, but I want to.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You like my assholish, but secretly sweet vibe.

Secret tip: Don't include anything along the lines of "I know you won't write back" or anything similar. My biggest pet peeve, romantic or platonic, is lack of confidence.