Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
So I just moved to Kansas City from San Francisco. Huge
I am a drinker with a writing problem. If you want to talk about
how much the human race fucking sucks, I'm your guy. If you want to
burn this mother fucker to the ground, message me now.
My name is Michael, but people call me Kocher. I'm a combination of
everyone you hate, and everything you love. I've been told I have
an addicting personality. It's true. If you suck, I'll tell you. If
you're cool, I'll tell you. I like to do things in innappropriate
places at innappropriate times for inappropriate duration with
inappropriate girls. People who talk shit make me laugh. I make me
laugh. I'm 6'8. That's tall. I like to cause trouble. I might be an
adult Eddie Haskell.
I am fantastic, cocky, and unpredictable.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
My chocolate lab is my best friend in the world.
I snowboard in the winter and surf in the summer. I hang out in
dive bars and libraries. I meet interesting people in homeless
shelters and in high end lounges. I find things out about everyone
that I love and I'm glad I know. I fall into love too easily and I
fall out of love too hard. I'm a good listener and a fantastic
storyteller. I hate to hate but I will burn you if you hurt those I
I have many tattoos, 5 of which are literary. Yes, I read. Yes,
books with words and not pictures.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I am good at most things I try. I'm a good writer with a unique
voice, or so my editor says. I'm good at drinking too much and
writing too little. I am good at controlling my temper.
I am not good at watching men hurt women. I will always get
involved. I am not good at ignoring people crying and I'm
empathetic to a fault. I try to be a good person but I'm probably
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm tall. Again I said it. It means all anyone notices about me is
my height. People stare? It cracks me up.
However, when they get up close it's my eyes. I have amazing
eyes(cocky, remember) and I use them to do bad things to bad girls.
I've been told that I have sad eyes. I've been told I have old
eyes. I just hope they keep seeing all the beauty the world has to
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
We Approach Our Martinis With Such High Expectations. It's a
surfing book, it's a philosophy book, it's a photography book, but,
most importantly, it's the book that changed my life. There is so
much that can be pulled from this book, no matter how many times
you read it. The stories are inspiring, the photos are intriguing,
the philosophy is invigorating and the way it changes your life is
I listen to a lot of bad music. But that's fine, because people who
judge based on musical taste deserve to be judged based on sucking.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Mostly about whatever book I'm reading and what death will be like.
I think a lot about how to improve myself even if I don't follow
through. I think about my friends and family.
Mostly though I think about my dog and how much he makes me laugh.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Drinking too much, talking too loud, dancing too crazily, and
getting thrown out of bars. What are you doing? Shall we do it
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I don't trust anyone, but I want to. I am afraid of being
abandoned. I push people away. Don't let me.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You like my assholish, but secretly sweet vibe.
You don't mind that it takes me a while to respond and that I don't
fit in here at all.
Secret tip: Don't include anything along the lines of "I know you
won't write back" or anything similar. My biggest pet peeve,
romantic or platonic, is lack of confidence.
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