Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
My name is Michael, but people call me Kocher. I'm a combination of
everyone you hate, and everything you love. I've been told I have
an addicting personality. It's true. If you suck, I'll tell you. If
you're cool, I'll tell you. I like to do things in innappropriate
places at innappropriate times for inappropriate durations. People
who talk shit make me laugh. I make me laugh. I'm 6'8. That's tall.
I like to cause trouble. I might be an adult Eddie Haskell.
I've done more in 29 years than many people do their entire lives.
I live to have no regrets. I don't want to be the 45 year old
middle manager wondering where my life went, where'd my youth go.
I'd rather be the 45 year old seasonal worker who disappears to god
knows where for the winter and always has a story to tell, a beer
for a friend, and food for someone that needs it.
I've surfed in a Native village in Alaska. I've worked on political
campaigns and in fast food. I've driven across the country... three
times. I've driven from Anchorage to Tijuana. I've skinny dipped in
10 degree weather in the Gulf of Alaska. I've run around naked on
highways. I've been to a dozen different countries including Iraq
and Iceland. I've spent nights drinking myself stupid with Senators
and other nights doing the same with drug dealers and learned
plenty from both.
In the next year and a half I'm running a marathon in the Sahara,
spending a month hosteling around Europe and trying to do another
deployment with the Marine Corps. I run barefoot in the
Some people think I'm gay. Some people are just jealous. Who cares
about gay and straight? Don't Ask Don't Tell was the worst policy
If it involves the water then I'm going to be involved with it. The
only time I've ever lived away from the ocean I almost died. That
might have been because it was Iraq but I like to think it was the
Really now, must I go on? I bet you hope not.
Did I mention that I'm 6'8?
I am fantastic, cocky, and unpredictable.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm a former Marine. I'm as liberal as they come. I'm a student. I
worked for a think tank and own my own business on the side. Now I
now a Labrador Retriever puppy. He is a frustrating creature, but I
I snowboard in the winter and surf in the summer. I hang out in
dive bars and libraries. I meet interesting people in homeless
shelters and in high end lounges. I find things out about everyone
that I love and I'm glad I know. I fall into love too easily and I
fall out of love too hard. I'm a good listener and a fantastic
I want to be in politics. I want to change the world. For the
better, naturally, but I wouldn't mind being misunderstood in my
own time if by my grandchildren's time they realize I've made
I have 7 tattoos, 5 of which are literary. Yes, I read. Yes, books
with words and not pictures.
The next tattoo I get will incorporate the quote "There are no
second acts in American lives" from F Scott Fitzgerald
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I don't know, most things that I try. How about I talk about what
I'm bad at.
I'm tall and I'm terrible at basketball.
I'm bad at being mean, and I'm empathetic to a fault. I can't stand
seeing a woman cry and it drives me into a rage when men hurt
women. I don't think women are fragile at all, I think I love them
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm tall. Again I said it. It means all anyone notices about me is
I dress in bizarre clothing with mismatched colors, interesting
textures, and straight fits, with the intention of getting people
to stare at me. It is my armor. People are going to stare at me
anyway for my height, so I might as well dress to draw attention
and take back control of it.
However, when they get up close it's my eyes. I have amazing
eyes(cocky, remember) and I use them to do bad things to bad girls.
I've been told that I have sad eyes. I've been told I have old
eyes. I just hope they keep seeing all the beauty the world has to
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
We Approach Our Martinis With Such High Expectations. It's a
surfing book, it's a philosophy book, it's a photography book, but,
most importantly, it's the book that changed my life. There is so
much that can be pulled from this book, no matter how many times
you read it. The stories are inspiring, the photos are intriguing,
the philosophy is invigorating and the way it changes your life is
I listen to a lot of bad music. But that's fine, because people who
judge based on musical taste deserve to be judged based on being
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How to change the world, my country, someone's life, or maybe just
a change of scenery.
How to help people and find people that will help me.
My next adventure.
"A ship in the harbor is safe, but that's not what ships are built
for." - Unknown
Words from -my- bible,
"I was born to suckle nipples in the maternity wards of Naples. I
was born to deliver pizzas to the red light district of Amsterdam.
I was born to hurl hot dogs in the garage of Farrah Fawcett's
Mansion. I was born under fluorescent lighting to a doctor a little
loose with his scalpel.
I was born to swing Louisville Sluggers at pinatas in the
courtyards of Meixco City. I was born to plant roses in steel +
girder cities suffering from draughts + national debt. I was born
to twirl about the stratosphere with sights of Brazil in my
I was born to let loose tarantulas up the long skirts of catholic
schoolgirls. I was born to silently yearn for portuguese words to
describe my American feelings. I was born to rescue 17 Century
queens from 21st Century Towers. I was born to drink in fiery
orange sunsets over infinite South Pacific horizon lines.
I was born to dance the Lambada through the gateways of Armageddon.
I was born from fertility and the promise of a post WW2 American
dream. I was born to peddle cigars in the backstreets of Havana. I
was born to bleed montblanc ink + perspire Pabst Blue Ribbon. I was
born to walk dogs while Mick Jagger sings about strange stray cats.
I was born to be a hero for an eternity, a lifetime, or maybe just
I was born to die a grandiose death possibly involving heights,
probably involving water, definitely involving orgasm. I was born
to drink coffee colored flesh and dream third world hallucinations.
I was born to be a benevolent, motorless, evil knievel of my own
I was born to ultimately fall in line with ageless wisdom and allow
the whole process to repeat itself." - Jamie Brisick, We Approach
Our Martinis With Such High Expectations
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Drinking too much, talking too loud, dancing too crazily, and
getting thrown out of bars. What are you doing? Shall we do it
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I don't trust anyone, but I want to.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You like my assholish, but secretly sweet vibe.
Secret tip: Don't include anything along the lines of "I know you
won't write back" or anything similar. My biggest pet peeve,
romantic or platonic, is lack of confidence.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.