29 Pasadena, CA
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My self-summary
I was geek before geek was chic.
What I’m doing with my life
Pay-the-bill-wise, I bartend, so if you're an aspiring alcoholic, we'll get along fabulously.

Hobby-and-pursue-the-dream-wise, I write horror and dark-fantasy, so if morbid smut brightens your day, I'm your guy.
I’m really good at
Flaunting my humility.

Whiskey sours.

Imagining a worse-case scenario to instill current-case positivity.

Cooking, but it wasn't always that way. I once thought "2 1/4 cups flour" meant two *times* a fourth, so I proceeded making the cookies all the while thinking, "Why didn't they just say a half of a cup?" The results were not pretty. Very soggy.
The first things people usually notice about me
Glasses, probably. But depending on location, sometimes I need to point out that these are actual prescription lenses. When did all the cool people wearing fake glasses decide it's suave to pretend they have a visual impairment?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Authors: Clive Barker, Stephen King, Neil Gaiman
Book series: Harry Potter, His Dark Materials, Song of Ice and Fire
Specific books: Aztec, Perfume, Snow Queen

Movies: Aliens, American Psycho, Angel Heart, I'm Not Scared, Serial Mom, Pan's Labyrinth, Big Lebowski, Chumscrubber, Pulp Fiction, Nightmare on Elm Street, Nightbreed, Interview with the Vampire, Let the Right One In, Desperado, Grosse Pointe Blank, Lost Boys... I could go on and on and on... but who likes to read lists?

TV: Skins, Firefly, IT Crowd, Dexter, South Park, Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones, House of Cards, The Comeback

Music... only the sophisticated stuff... such as: sensual Kidz Bop covers, Ke$ha, Lady Gaga, Angelspit, ACID BATH, Bodies Without Organs, Army of Lovers, DEPECHE MODE, Marina and the Diamonds, Marilyn Manson... ...whatever Pandora plays.

Food: Sugar. Chocolate anything. I'll be healthiest once I get amnesia and can effectively hide the Oreos from myself.

I also love dishes with spice/variety. Bold flavors are my friends. Except with overly-hopped beers. No thank you.
The six things I could never do without
Coconuts, stories, social interaction, an appendix, chocolate and coffee, time
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How I could have said that last sentence better.

If we are what we think or what we do, and why I care.

If I could trust my clone.

If, when someone answers that they're attracted to dangerous situations in that one question, I should pay my friends to rob us at prop-gunpoint after our first date so I can either:
A) Call bullshit.
B) Have made the date all the more awesome.
On a typical Friday night I am
Updating my okCupid profile.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
The Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa-whoa-whoa part of “Things Can Only Get Better" by Howard Jones plays in my head as pivotal or shocking moments occur within my life.

Examples of this phenomenon include:

--The first time I experienced a slice of coconut pie.

--When a complete stranger in the weight-room *thoroughly* described his colorectal cancer to me as I tried to read on a stationary bike (thereby dethroning me from my position as King of TMI).

So basically, imagine the above moments underscored with
You should message me if
You’re like a female version of Prince Joffrey, or similar to Rachel Weisz's character in the Shape of Things.