As you have probably noticed by my profile picture, I have been in
the woods at least once. I think that's probably enough information
to constitute a self-summary. To fill up remaining space, I will
list what I am looking for in a lady.
Rich. I don't like working, and a woman that can be my sugar mama
is a necessity.
Cultured. I'm a slob with no artistic sense and a very basic grasp
of the English language. But that won't stop me from demanding
someone who can explain to me the significance of melting clocks
and reads more than Epsn articles.
Attractive. I won't settle, but you sure have to.
Personality. Conversing with me is akin to speaking to a rock. You
must have enough personality for the both us.
Those requirements may be too strict. Just be a person, that's good
enough for me.
What I’m doing with my life
Stop being so nosey.
I’m really good at
Remembering the obscure dictionary.com 'words of the day', and none
of the useful ones.
I don't think I'll ever be able to use abecedarian in a
The first things people usually notice about me
Other than my dashingly good looks, I have been told I have a nice
set of teeth.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Current/Most recent entertainment choices:
Books: 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea
Television: Last Week Tonight, Nathan For You
The six things I could never do without
1. Bar Trivia, although 'The Kids R Kelly Peed On' are in a bit of
a slump currently.
2. A joke about water and food. I'm so clever.
3. An IPA.
4. Vitamin B12.
5. Vodka shots chased with copious amounts of soda because I'm a
6. The theme of me being an alcoholic.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Am I breathing funny?
On a typical Friday night I am
Feeding the homeless, rescuing animals, and donating blood.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
If there is a reflective surface or mirror, I will always look into
it. Not out of vain, just to make sure everything is in order.
You should message me if
You don't have two first names. You can never trust a person with
two first names.