Sometimes I dream about being in the witness protection program, and getting a new identity.  Mostly because I think it'd be awesome to pick out my new name.  I've come up with some potential future-names which I shall list now for no good reason.

• Ezikiel Manhammer 
• Tiberious Hardface
• Dallas Dragonblood
• Russle McNinjatits
• Chuck Skythrust
• Deacon Beefwhistle
• Fist Hotwings
• Nero Masterkick
• Ruger Shirtstab
• Awesome McReallyawesome
• Pubert Fishtrumpet

I'm not so sure about those last few.  They may need some work.

If you say it with a certain accent.  I found this out the hard way while wondering how this woman's 2 yr old son could possible have dick hair.  I realized my error while she was mid sentence and started laughing.  She asked why I was laughing, and I figured a lie would be better than the truth in this situation.  So I told her a dead baby joke.  *high five*

I couldn't decide which soft drink I wanted from the vending machine, so I pressed like 5 buttons at the same time with my forearm and let fate decide. And apparently fate favors effing diet sprite?