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AahhRealMonsters

27 M Portland, OR

My Details

Last Online
Today – 3:56pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sign
Gemini
Education
Graduated from space camp
Job
Other
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
"You're a weird dude." The Guy who plays drum buckets under the bridge once told me that.

Here's a Pun: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.

I create things sometimes. I wouldn't call myself an artist because it's purely for amusement and I'll never charge for commissioned work. I do it to wind down and relax. I don't like to call it Art, it's called "Ert". Ert is Art's annoying little brother that tries to emulate everything he does. If you're using the website and not the app, you can see the nerdy paintings in my photos.

I'm 5'10" and 3/4ths but I usually round up to 6'7".

I'm from New Hampshire. Live Free or Die, Bitch. I live in SouthEast Portland (Sellwood) now.

Tina Belcher is my dream girl.

My Myers-Briggs type is BFFL
What I’m doing with my life
I have a craving for homemade froyo so buying bananas and such and freezing them is what I'm doing with my life today.
I’m really good at
Eating all of your discarded black licorice jellybeans.
The first things people usually notice about me
That I'm making scary faces at their small children.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I'm a glutton for a greatly told story.

Books: Autobiographies and things that remind me of my childhood.

Movies: I will literally watch anything except for another Fast and Furious movie. I have such a man-crush on Dwayne The Rock Johnson but Fast Five and Six were pure hot garbage.

TV: Netflix and Hulu powerwatching. I'm pretty sure Game of Thrones and Adventure Time are set in the same universe. I wish there was infinite episodes of My Strange Addiction.

Music: I need to be able to either dance to it, or stare out a window on a rainy day to it.
The six things I could never do without
I choose Pizza 6 times.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Who put the GLAD in GLADiator?!
On a typical Friday night I am
¯\_(◔ ‿ ◔)_/¯

Probably doing robotic dance movies, not on purpose, but because it's the only way I know how to dance. Or drunk snapchatting til my phone dies.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
A girl once wrote an erotic fan-fiction starring me and read it on Huffington Post Live and wrote an article for XO Jane about it. Seriously.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–38
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
If you think sitting next to me at a bar sounds like a swell idea. I really have no idea what I'm looking for and simply enjoy meeting new people.

What I really want is some quality Netflix company and someone who won't pass judgement when I tear up during a sad movie. Also a girl that will laugh at bronys and neckbeards with me.