I once accidentaly broke into a bank in New Orleans.

I worked in a history museum for 4 years, but don't really care all that much about history.

I'm actually proud to be from Youngstown. I have no intentions of ever moving back to Youngstown.

I'm really good at Trivial Pursuit, above average at Uno, and I've never finished a game of Monopoly.

I appreciate a person who can tell a good story. Even if the story is really boring, if they tell it right, I'll eat it up. If you're really good at it, I'd probably listen to you read the phonebook.

I bought a new camera while out in San Diego just because everything was so gorgeous. I ended up talking about 5 pictures because I was too busy actually doing stuff.

Whatever happened to spending an entire Sunday afternoon listening to music?

I love stand-up comedy, especially seeing it live. Hilarities on E4th is the best.

$10 Smart Seats at Playhouse Square! Why are you sitting in front of your computer when you could be there with me?

I'm currently broiling a steak while I'm writing this. It will probably get burnt.

I'm an accountant. Wait, it gets better. I'm an accountant for the federal government.

I actually like my job. The work is challenging but fun, I've gotten to travel a lot, I love my bosses and coworkers, I don't have to work crazy hours, and it stays stress free most of the time.

I'm in the perfect job that makes me happy. How many people can say that? And you were ready to judge me when I said I was an accountant for the government, weren't you?

Making a joke at an inappropriate time? Saying the wrong thing? Being introverted? Making situations akward?

I'm also pretty good at obscure movie trivia, driving during road trips, losing money at the craps table, and zoning out during conference calls.

I couldn't say....but it's usually not the dry and sarcastic tone.

That I'm not similar to this guy at all ---------------------------->

The last two books I read were Atonement and I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell. I'm really sensitive, but still kind of a jerk. I'd love to cuddle with you under an afghan, but point out all of your flaws at the same time.

I'm a movie snob. Favorite movies as of this moment: Punch-Drunk Love, Royal Tenenbaums, Habla con Ella, Amelie, Memento and Walk Hard.

I'm not a music snob. I like to hang out with people who have terrible taste in music. I have Serge Gainsbourg, Conway Twitty and Nick Cave all together on one playlist on my iPod.

I love reheated Taco Bell taco's, it's gross I know. And the steak turned out perfectly in case you had to know. (marinated in olive oil, crushed red pepper, and garlic cloves)

My job, my friends, dvd's, the internet, terrible cliched answers, and Balderdash.

How I'm pretty happy with where I'm at right now. I like my job, I like my friends, I like the free time I have and the stuff I fill it with. Things are going pretty well for me. So why am I doing all of this alone?

And then I break out into a nervous panic.

7:00pm "Yeah this is great, I'm glad we decided to do happy hour. It's just going to be a laid back night out."

9:30pm "No, I don't really want to go to a club. Is there a live band at least."

10:15pm "Why am I in a place where the best gin is Seagrams and the best tequila is Cuervo Gold?"

11:45pm "I hate bachelorette parties. No you're hot sweety. Watch your drink you almost spilled it on me"

12:05am "get off the bull dude, no one wants to see you on there"

12:30am "It's really dark in this basement club, and it smells like weed and Drakkar Noir"

1:00am At this point I usually see something that I can never unsee, or try to prevent someone from drunk-dialing.

2:00am "why does every happy hour end like this? I'm not getting tricked into this again."

Repeat two weeks later because I never learn that we're never going to have a casual night out. Ever. This is a cry for help.

I hide my true feelings and fears with a heavy layer of jokes and sarcasm.

you decided to settle?

-or-

you're cute, fun, like good movies, bubbly, and single. Bonus points if you like museums, art and other Clevelandy stuff. Double Bonus points awarded if you have a stable head on your shoulders.