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26 Columbus, OH Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18-26
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My details

Last online
Sep 27
6' 0" (1.83m)
Body Type
Average build
Working on University
English, Portuguese (Somewhat), Sign Language (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I like playing pool, foosball, darts, and other such hole-in-the-wall bar activities that I can only play well when I drink alcohol is some form of moderation. Too little or too much, and it becomes entirely likely that someone will end up with a dart sticking out of their ass, or get a foosball to the right eye, and you don't want to know what kind of damage a foosball can do to the squishy human eyeball.

It. is. horrific.

My goals? Nothing fancy, deep, or profound. I just tend to try to be happy. Figure out what makes me happy, and do it, then repeat the process until said activity becomes dull or meaningless. When I'm bored, I'll do jumping jacks until I’m winded, and then contemplate the finer things in life, such as alcohol, American Football and curvacious women.

Oh, and I'm a student at The Ohio State University and about to graduate this Summer. I'm going to be working in the IT field better known as nerd work.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Enjoying it, of course.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I'm good at picking a first date. I will say though strolling hand in hand through a park, or something romantic like that, would just bore me, unless we lucked out and got to watch two ducks do battle or something awesome like that. Maybe if we got attacked by a goose (which I have before,) and I got to kick the shit out of it, save you from a bloody ankle beak-ing by a frenzied wild animal, and then cooly receive a hero's passionate kiss from a grateful maiden in distress... well, then the park thing would probably be cool.

Not likely to happen, though. Geese are tricky, and prefer to avoid a direct confrontation with an angry, boot-wielding heroic human.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm loud and the opposite of shy.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Movie: Goonies.
Shows: Eastbound and Down.
Music: 90's music please.
Food: Meat and condiments.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. Apple Computer.
2. Chipotle.
3. Ron Swanson.
4. Charles Bukowski.
5. My cat, his name is Rampage.
6. Twitter.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Everything (and I don't mean a lot, I mean everything) including, but not limited to:
● The future, think futurism not planning. I do the latter too.
● Why did I come into this room? What was that thing I wanted to get?
● Time travel, wouldn't it be grand?
● What is for dinner? Do I have beer at home?
● It was my keys! My keys are in that room!
● stuff and junk.

That sums it up.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I wouldn't describe any Friday night as typical. However, common elements and recurring themes include: Fun, booze, reckless laughter, live local music, feasting, dancing, awesomeness, and fun (again).

mondays are kind of typical, but fuck mondays.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Basic intelligence is a huge must for me. I don't need a scholar, but I'm not looking to pretend a conversation is interesting, either. I won't.

I only state this because I read the profiles on this site, and stuff. It is disheartening. The majority of you are fackin idiots, sorry to be the one to break it to you.

I don't say this because I think my own intellect is of some sort of special status, it isn't. It's average. I've been around smart people, so I know the difference. All I'm saying is that, for whatever reason, this site is full of idiots. Morons. Women taking pictures from carefully decieving angles, bending over and showing cheap thongs, spewing cliches, and generally butchering the english language in the attempt to be as shallow as humanly possible.

GAaaaahhh argghhhh garb garble

stop. just stop. give love a chance. *plays harp*

So I'm looking for the minority it seems, and hopefully I won't sound arrogant in saying so to those particular individuals because I assume that they will feel similarly.

....I can also lift 40lbs, effortlessly.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Ideal girl for me?
Sharp wit, light hearted, laughs a lot, attractive, non judgemental, open minded, independent, feminine, articulate, and creative.

Also a fan of women who can cook. My own cooking is piss poor, so if you can whip up a meal so delicious that I would want to rub it in my hair, I'm more than likely to be partial toward you.