Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


31 Schaumburg, IL Man


Similar users

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 23-34
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Online now!
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
6' 0" (1.83m)
Body Type
Atheism and it’s important
Dropped out of Space camp
Doesn’t have kids
Has dogs
English (Fluently), Spanish (Somewhat), LISP (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I haven't filled this out until now because (just like everyone else) I never have any idea of what to write in these type of things. Sooooo, I'm a Gemini, I enjoy long walks on the beach, blah blah, blah...
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Clearly it's not filling out online profiles.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
The condescending look.
Or my boobs.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I hate these type of questions on principal. So, Fried Green Tomatoes all around, questionmaster.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Internal combustion.
Social interaction.
Intellectual challenge.
Jack Daniels.
Crystal meth.
Those seven things I could never do without.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The immeasurable and sex inconceivable vastness of the universe. Billions of systems sex in billions of galaxies. The sex incredible insignificance of you, me, and everyone sex we've ever known. And everything we've ever done, said, sex or thought. And quantum mechanics. That shit cray. Although sometimes sex I get distracted.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Lowering a basket of lotion into a pit in my cellar.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm an amazingly well-hung millionaire philanthropist.

Just kidding. I'm super broke.

I don't speak any English. I know how to say everything that I just wrote in this profile, and this last statement explaining that.

You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you have read the explanations to my questions and you laughed. Also, seek help if you did.

Or if you want to share a hilarious, creepy, or horrifying message you've gotten on here. I recently realized how entertaining they can be. We're awful.