I'm a rogue and a bard. A gentleman charlatan. A bastard in every sense of the word. A sad clown, a joyful doomsayer, a cranky old man in a 26 year-old's body.
"Sometimes I just wanna drive until the streets run out / I wanna burn until there's nothing left to burn about"
I like to climb trees, tell jokes and read books until my eyes can't take it anymore. I like to make fun of everything. I enjoy gaming, goofy horror movies, scary horror movies (if you'll cuddle me during the scary parts), walking on foot to new places, comic books, talking about Noam Chomsky, Indian food, Japanese food, food, a nitrogen and oxygen rich atmosphere, having my hair pulled, only being serious in private and being overwhelmed by the choices on Netflix and then settling into a documentary about typefaces or something, it was actually pretty cool.
"The gods love a fool."
Do you enjoy guys who make cute noises when you pet them? Do you bite the hand that feeds you? Do you pick your feet in Poughkeepsie? Do you still like climbing trees? Do you have a favorite sci-fi movie where a major city gets blown up? Isn't stuff neat?
"I am the fountain of affection / I'm the instrument of joy / And to keep the good times rollin' / I'm the boy, I'm the boy..."
I'm a comedian and a Mk. I Nerd. Game of Thrones. Marvel movies. Books with spaceships on the covers. Vidja garms. Look, I'm sure you like these things too, but really it's all just stuff to kvel and kvetch about with each other, as good as any other parcel of things really. And I love those things! Don't get me wrong. They are not what make us "weird" though, in fact they're quite mainstream and normalized. “What” is much less interesting to me than “how” and “why.” What's underneath? God, I love a good “why.” Have you read The Masters of Solitude?
"I'd rather everyone in this room die right now than have this fucking show go badly."
I work as a professional houseboy/sex-positive house cleaner, so I'm not looking for a “service relationship.” That's not to say that if we become close I won't serve you by cleaning, cooking, and the like. That just can't be the basis of the relationship. Ideally, we should both admire each other, enjoy each others' company, and both want and desire each other in emotional and sexual ways first. The toilet-scrubbing and garbage removal will come, believe me.
"I want your touches to scar me so I'll know where you've been / I want you to watch when I go down in flames"
Kinky things. I want to be in abject, adoring fear of you, like a child before a stern, punishing parent, like an animal in a cage with only a dim awareness of its captor's true cruelty. Pain is just the medium. Melt me down to the base elements. Let's find out what we're both made of. Let's go to the darkest, dankest places and come back with treasure.
"His staff I'll break and his dog I'll shake / And there'll howl no demon louder”
I can be a pet, but I am not a tame pet. I'm a Wildling, a Targaryen. I'm not going to give it up easily. The paradox, of course, is that I want to give it up SO HARD. So give me a reason. Or, alternatively, don't allow "reason" to be a factor. To paraphrase Game of Thrones, "I don't want to be aprince. I want to be the prince." I'm looking for someone I compliment. We should contrast well. A Zoe to my Wash. A Leela to my Fry. A Lyanna to my Rhaegar (think about it.) A Big Barda to my Mr. Miracle. I'll come for the imperium, but I'll stay for the auctoritas. Like Trent said, I need your discipline.
"I aim to misbehave."